Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Scde2]

Granted. It will be popular as soon as it gets mildly interesting!

I wish that I was a moderator for this site.

 

[MrCollins]

Granted, bt not only are you the most hated nodon the site, but you start with limited mod powers, you can only ;od in religion and politics. Have Fun.

I wish for better tv shows

 

[Scde2]

Granted, but I hope you know Hungarian.

I wish for FREEDOM

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but your sworn duty is to deprive others of their freedom as penance.

I wish for more conventions closer to my area!

 

[WhyBotherToTry]

Granted. There are now conventions every weekend, but they are all about the cultural importance of styrofoam.
I wish I had better music on my ipod.

 

[Scde2]

Granted, but you now own an ipineapple. Which is silly because you can't listen to music on an ipineapple!

I wish that I can take and pass a bar exam already.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. It should pass through your digestive track by tomorrow.

I wish to be forever clean!

 

[Fractral]

Granted. In order to achieve this, you are tied down in a perfectly clean room and sprayed with hoses on full power from now until the end of time.

I wish for more brains.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. But you only get more when someone know you dies.

I wish, I wish, I was a fish

 

[Scde2]

Granted, but you have no gills.

I wish for Dr.Susse to grant this wish.

 

[The Pumpkin Witch]

Granted, but he will only grant it to you when you're dying and too weak to change it to something useful.

I wish that I had gotten a 100% perfect score on that math test I bombed yesterday.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. You will get it once you discover the TARDIS.

I wish for invisibility the ablility to fly at any speed I want

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but you can only fly 3 inches off the ground.

I wish for the ability to scream incoherently in the streets.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted, but only when you only do it when nobody is around.

I wish for eternal life my own pet dragon!

 

[username sucks]

Granted, but it is hungry, and you are the only meat nearby.

I wish my recurring nightmare would stop. Seriously, brain, it's been 3 months already!

 

[NoOne852]

Granted, but you only get to sleep for 3 hours at a time.

I wish for unlimited resources

 

[NoOne852]

(Oh boy! It benefits me? )
Granted, but the world will end tomorrow.

I wish the world didn't end tomorrow.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted, but only for you. No one else is spared from the destruction of earth. You then die thirty seconds later due to lack of oxygen.

I wish that I had a working Steam account at this point...

 

[MrCollins]

Granted, but Valve goes out of business and Origin takes over its servers, making you pay for everything.

I wish I had a good film to watch.