Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

Hemlock · Mar 12, 2013

Granted, but it has no fingers and it is on your head.
I wish for a cake.

Dead Seerius · Mar 12, 2013

Granted! It's a fruit cake.

I wish for a refill.

Porygon-2000 · Mar 12, 2013

Granted, your toilet is now full!

I wish I could travel through time

Hemlock · Mar 13, 2013

Granted, but you can only go back 10 years.
I wish for a computer chip in my brain.

thesilentman · Mar 13, 2013

Granted. No free will for you.

I wish for all of my games to work on Linux.

Dr.Susse · Mar 13, 2013

Granted but due to a transfer problem you get......solitaire.

I wish my eye would stop hurting.

Hemlock · Mar 13, 2013

Granted, I rip it out.
I wish for a jalopy.

Dead Seerius · Mar 13, 2013

Granted, but it has swastikas graffitied on the windshield. (I've seen it before.)

I wish for a magic lamp.

thesilentman · Mar 13, 2013

Granted, YOU'RE the genie.

I wish for more dakka!

Hemlock · Mar 13, 2013

Granted, all the bullets are after you.
I wish for more guns.

thesilentman · Mar 14, 2013

Granted, the guns won't work as they have the handprint scanners.

I wish for a failed wish!

Redlin5_v1legacy · Mar 14, 2013

Granted but you lose the ability to post in the future.

I wish for DNA that involves into a hat.

thesilentman · Mar 14, 2013

Granted, but said hat is going to kill you after one second.

One.

I wish for no one to have wishes!

Living_Brain · Mar 15, 2013

Granted, but it takes effect in 3 days.
I WISH for tropical weather.

Hemlock · Mar 15, 2013

Granted, have fun in 90 degree heat forever.
I wish for more wishes.

NerfedFalcon · Mar 15, 2013

Granted, but they can only be used to wish for corn.

I wish for America to turn communist.

Hemlock · Mar 16, 2013

Granted, Cuba becomes the most powerful nation in the world and is now a democracy.
I wish for a medium-well steak.

Olas · Mar 16, 2013

Hemlock said:
Granted, Cuba becomes the most powerful nation in the world and is now a democracy.
I wish for a medium-well steak.

Granted, one sewer rat steak coming up.

I wish for a pony.

Dr.Susse · Mar 16, 2013

Granted would you like it fried or baked.

I wish for more great crime drama.

thesilentman · Mar 17, 2013

Granted, hope you like a shitty example of a great crime drama.

I wish for better reflexes!