Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Teoes]

Granted. You're now the last person alive.

I wish I was double-jointed.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, you become double jointed everywhere, basically turning yourself into The Fear. Have fun being killed by Big Boss (Naked Snake).
I wish for a cow.

 

[MrCollins]

Granted, but it is delivered to you by the tried and tested method of catapult.

I wish for a better singing voice.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Granted, but now Justin Bieber is stalking you. He's gotten so desperate that he's going to try tearing out your larynx and seeing if he can steal your voice. Have fun with that.

I wish house cats were sentient, and still as adorable, friendly, and lovable as ever.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but their lifespan has been exponentially reduced.

I wish I didn't love musical soundtracks so much.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Granted, now all music sounds terrible to you.

I wish time was irrelevant.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Granted, the stock market just crashed and now we're heading into another recession. Don't ask me how that makes sense, it just does.

I wish to see the world for once, all standing hand in hand...

 

[Teoes]

Granted. You no longer have feet.

I wish to be successful in buying the house my lady and I are hoping for.

 

[Nouw]

Success. The auction, however, will take ten years to complete.

I wish for joy.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted here is the Ode to Joy 10,000 times.

I wish for reality television to die in a fire.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, your television is in reality and on fire.

I wish for world peace.

 

[Nouw]

The first wish is always for a thousand wishes!

I wish kalius has 499 of the remaining wishes.

Granted here is the Ode to Joy 10,000 times.

"You needn't take it any further, sir. You've proved to me that all this ultraviolence and killing is wrong, wrong, and terribly wrong. I've learned me lesson, sir. I've seen now what I've never seen before. I'm cured! Praise god!" [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8RaPexRqr8]

 

[Teoes]

Granted; however..

..I wish for all of Nouw's remaining wishes.

 

[StormShaun]

Granted. They are ALL crap!

I wish I could become a master at playing the violin.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Granted, but everyone else thinks you sound like Kitomi. Enjoy.

I wish the rest of Monster would be released on DVD in the U.S. (COME THE FUCK ON ALREADY JAPAN!)

 

[kailus13]

Granted, it's done by 4kids!

I wish that 4kids would dub Puella Magica.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Granted, now its even more diabetes-inducing.

I wish kailus would stop trying to dissect me, vivisect me, or otherwise cut me open.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted.. but now half of the world's population are after your innards, rather than just Kailus.

I wish I knew how to cheer people up when they're sad.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted... Oh, wait that's too positive and violates Section 12343647372562423523463567357 of our magic law book.

I wish to overturn reality.