Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but it's refusing to accept any new songs.

I wish I had plans for tomorrow.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, your plans are to do other peoples taxes the entire day.

I wish for a clean handkerchief.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Granted, I covered it in bleach to make it extra clean for you!

I wish that I had actually remembered to make a wish in my last post.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, the wish is invisible and can't be read.

I wish I had an idea with which to start a forum game.

 

[Dead Seerius]

Granted! The game is Insult Kailus in the Most Creative Way Possible

I wish I could catch a leprechaun.

 

[Teoes]

Granted but it's the Lucky Charms one, so all he gives you is some sugary cereal.

I wish I could find a pot of gold.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but it's too heavy for you to lift, and you're too scared to ask anyone to help you in case they take off with it.

I wish I was more powerful.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, you are now a muscle woman.

I iwsh for love.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but you've fallen in love with your car.

I wish for a bag of holding.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, you can't remember where you've put it.

I iwsh for a delicious cupcake.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but you're allergic to it.

I wish for a Babelfish.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it blows up in your hands, covering you in ooze.

I wish Captain Picard wasn't so stupid in movies.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, Captain Picard is now retconned out of all movies.

I wish my thumb wasn't swollen.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, Pyramid Head cuts the off.

I wish that any person who spells "Teh" instead of "The" would be incinerated on the spot.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but it counts in all cases, so you're incinerated for instigating the law.

I wish for a six-demon bag.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Granted, the demons escape from the bag and devour you.

I wish I had a better internet connection.

 

[Headsprouter]

Yeah, well you never truly get what you pay for.

I wish I was a talented artist.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you have to cut off your ears before you can make money.

I wish for a cat.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but it's a hungry adult tiger and you have raw steak tied to your neck.

I wish I knew more about computers.

 

[Headsprouter]

Okay, but if anyone wants help with a problem that can't be solved by turning it off and on again you're fucked.

I wish Pokemans was real.