Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it's still cheating....

I wish it was spring for ever.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted, the earth suddenly grinds to a halt in its orbit, thus dooming life on this planet.

I wish I had remembered to stock up on anti-crazy pills.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, you have all the anti-crazy pills and everyone will kill you to get one.
I wish I had an unsuspecting van.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted, it works so well people don't even know its there.
"Oh, hello, Mr Semi-Trailer-*CRASH*"

I wish I had about 60 more posts under my belt.

 

[Headsprouter]

Granted, but 10 of them are accidental duplicates.

I wish I had an extra finger.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, it grows out of your genitals.

I wish for a delicious meal.

 

[Headsprouter]

Granted, but it's a delicacy in Scotland and everything they eat is fucked up.

I wish for a new paint-job.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. Hope you like your skin color now!

I wish for a day in solitude.

 

[Headsprouter]

Granted, but there'll be a crap-load of people using voice chat if you play any online games.

I wish for a high-five to boost my confidence.

 

[Dead Seerius]

Granted. You will confidently high-five a bear. (Good luck)

I wish Alan Wake 2 was in development.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted, hope you like Team Ninja making it. =P

I wish for the Neo badge.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted, a glitch gives EVERYONE the badge, so it's rarity and prestige is now nil.

I wish to be... AN ALL POWERFUL GENIE!!!

 

[kailus13]

Granted, not only do you have no free will in using your powers, but you are now lime green.

I wish for the birds outside my window to shut up.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Granted, your pet kills them, attempts to eat one of them and proceeds to choke to death on it.

I wish for immunity to sunburn.

 

[MrCollins]

Granted, you now have dark skin. Oh, and I took the liberty of teleporting you into Louisiana in 1823.

I wish for more time.

 

[Cloudydays]

Granted, but it's more time in prison.

I wish I could afford the laptop I want.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, but no-one will sell it to you. (Nice avatar by the way.)

I wish I could mute the sounds that annoy me.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted, though I didn't know what annoys you, I played it safe and made you deaf.

I wish I had showered today.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted

I wish lava would work like it does in video games.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it comes in blocks like Minecraft.

I wish for some ice cream.