Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[KOMega]

Granted. You now have the power to freeze and turn liquids to ice on touch. Your blood gets frozen.

I wish for a cardboard box.

I have been ninja'd on both sides.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but your one wish has been wasted in the process.

I wish for less sneezing.

 

[KOMega]

Granted, you will never sneeze again.
Your nose eventually clogs up and you have no good way, or at least easy way, to clear it up.

I wish for a cardboard box.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but it has been sitting outside in the rain so it's all soggy and smelly.

I wish to be left alone.

 

[KOMega]

Granted. You find yourself in a deep dark pit in the middle of nowhere. Not much to do in the pit.

I wish for a headband.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but it doesn't fit your head, and wearing it for more than 10 seconds gives you a terrible headache.

I wish I had more time.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, have three seconds.

I wish for five dollars.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted, here is five dollars straight from Fort Knox

I wish for a wish granter who will not ruin my wish.

 

[Teoes]

Granted but it will instead ruin the lives of everyone around you, and they know who's at fault.

I wish for a fresh and tasty bacon roll.

 

[KOMega]

Granted. You receive a totally sweet tasty bacon roll. Some guards start looking around for you.

I wish for some delicious hot tea.

 

[username sucks]

Granted. It is still delicious because the poison is tasteless.

I wish for an ice cube.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, you have a cube of ice a mile wide dropped on you from 50 feet up.

I wish for a butler.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but once you are fulfilled in life he will eat your soul.

I wish for bacon.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, I just created bacon for you at the convenient location of the Earth's core.

I wish to rule the world!

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but everyone else is dead and you have crippling abandonment issues.

I wish everyone everyone had a friend like me.

 

[KOMega]

Granted, but those friends are then all trapped in magic lamps lost in an unknown desert. At least they have disney songs to entertain them.

I wish I could use the internet anywhere, even in the middle of nowhere.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, you can interface your mind to the internet from anywhere. However, your organic brain cannot handle the internet, so it causes your head to explode into double rainbows and pictures of cats.

I wish I could punch my calculus teacher without any criminal charges.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but that doesn't stop your Algebra teacher taking bloody vengeance.

I wish I could eat a whole doughnut without licking my lips or fingers.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, you no longer have any lips or fingers.

I wish my hair was naturally blue.

 

[KOMega]

Granted, cuz you gotta have blue hair. Fortunately your name does not change to Stinkoman.
Unfortunately it turns out you were the best friend character that dies to raise the stakes.
Shoulda wished for main character hair.

I wish a clean, good looking business suit with tie.