Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[username sucks]

What? INCORRECT SENTENCE STRUCTURE ON A WISH?!?!?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!?! YOU JUS-

I wish the Earth gets put back together.

 

[KOMega]

lol sorry, my mistake.
Granted, the pieces of earth are all smooshed back together.
Australia was always in the middle of the U.S. right? yeah.
Right beside the island of Germany.
A convenient fancy clothes store lands beside my house. yay!

I wish I could create a perfectly good bagel anytime and anywhere that I could eat.

 

[kailus13]

Granted, perfectly good i subjective, so it is made out of glass.

I wish for a moment of silence.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Granted, you are now deaf.

I wish I had X-Ray vision.

 

[God'sFist]

Granted but you can only see past the skin.

I wish that everyone on earth could have the worst day of their lives.

 

[Kitsune Hunter]

Granted, but you will suffer an even worst day than everyone else

I wish that I had the power to materialize anything I want

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, but anything you materialize is extremely radioactive.

I wish for 3 plain hamburgers, medium fries and a coke.

 

[KOMega]

Granted, a random McDonalds in Russia has been given your order.
The don't do delivery so you must travel there and pay for it before they will give you your food.
Also, they mess up your drink and give you diet coke.

I wish I could type really fast.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, you can hit random keys really fast.

I wish that my handwriting was better.

 

[Kitsune Hunter]

Granted, but your handwriting will only be better when you write in your own blood

I wish that I could find true love

 

[EeveeElectro]

Granted, but it's a horse.

I wish I could get over this cough.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, you now sneeze constantly instead.

I wish my history teacher could give instructions that make sense.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

She now gives perfect instructions on how to make the perfect scrabbled eggs to anyone who speaks Konkani. Also, now she only speaks Konkani.

I wish that Candlejack wasn't afte

 

[username sucks]

Granted, now yo

I wish I knew what Not was going to say, and who Candlejack is.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but the whole point of him is that once you say his name, he kidnaps you. See ya.

I wish to be rewarded for remembering to not mention Candlejack by na

 

[username sucks]

Granted, your reward is to never be heard from again, which is nice if you are antisocial I guess.

I wish I was a genius.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but it's a genius for DDR and you live in the middle of the Australian outback, so all you can do is pound away at the kitchen lino.

I wish I could be bitten by a cobra.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, but the venom doesn't kill you. It instead makes you live in extreme agony all the time, and is incurable.

I wish for it to be Friday already.

 

[Kitsune Hunter]

Granted, but it will be Monday the next day

I wish I knew what to wish for

 

[username sucks]

Granted, you just used your one and only wish to know what you wanted to wish for. If only you could wish for that thing, right?

I wish I could turn invisible at will.