Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Rabbitboy]

Granted they are aware.But this causes only more accidents since they are all in on a big insurance fraud.

I wish for an almond Magnum.

 

[Barbas]

Sure - I think it's expired, though.

I wish for a spiral slide!

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted, but it will fall apart mid slide. And you will be have a phobia for slides for the rest of your live.

I wish I was a frog who will turn into a human prince as soon as a pretty human lady kisses me.

 

[RedDeadFred]

Granted, but no pretty human lady ever kisses you so you are a frog for the rest of your life. Personally, I'd say that's a step down from rabbit.

I wish Twitch chat wouldn't ruin text to speech by spamming racist jokes and repetitive nonsense.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will now spam terrorist jokes! <color=white>(Also non-repetitive death threats, but at this point, what's the difference?)

I wish Krusty really WAS just Homer in disguise!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, but Homer was really just Krusty in disguise.

I wish the internet could learn to just ignore things.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted. But one of the things it will ignore is you.

I wish I had more self discipline.

 

[Headsprouter]

Here's a cat of nine tails. No time like the present...oh! My popcorn's done.

I wish this popcorn was salted.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the salt will come from your tears... since I'm taking your popcorn by force!

I wish I didn't have to pilot Eva Unit-00...

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted, the new pilot runs you over with it.

I wish they had actually made the game Civil War Generals 3

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will be the worse CWG game to ever exist...

I wish baking soda tasted like toothpaste!

 

[TheVampwizimp_v1legacy]

Granted, but toothpaste now tastes like barf.

I wish I was good at golf.

 

[Fractral]

Granted! To maintain your level of skill you have to spend every waking moment playing golf with insufferable old men.

I wish Atlus didn't hate Europe so much.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, they can't hate Europe since it now doesn't exist on the global map...

I wish for "mo money"!

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted but you get paid exclusively in Italian Lira.

I wish for summer.

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted but it's Indian Summer.

I wish for a million wishes.

 

[Fractral]

Granted. You have to use them all here, though.

I wish everything I said rhymed perfectly naturally.

 

[TheVampwizimp_v1legacy]

Thy wish be true, but now everyone hates you.

I wish for the best beard.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can't touch it because a swarm of endangered/diseased-covered birds will be nesting in it until the day you die...<color=white>which, if it's the disease I'm thinking these birds carry, shouldn't be too long...
I wish for new grillz!

 

[RedDeadFred]

Granted. Car grills are now being welded to your teeth because yo dawg, I heard you like grillz. So I got you some grills to use as your grillz.

I wish my sock didn't have a hole in it.