Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[UltraDeth]

Granted, in his dreams

I wish flies would stay out of my house

 

[Headsprouter]

Okay, enjoy the breeze around your privates.

I wish I ran on batteries.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, they're short lasting alkaline

I wish my hair didn't curl

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's now wraps around your neck in a choking fashion...

I wish ice cream could talk!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

It insults you constantly and swears like a sailor!

I wish John Pinette was still with us. (R.I.P John.)

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, he now wants to direct a even shittier reboot of Simon Sez...

I wish yaks weren't secretly assholes!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Yaks are now openly a-holes.

I wish Kung Fu Panda 3 would be a smash hit. the equal of a walk-off grand slam in game 7 of the world series. adored by audiences, have audiences laughing their arses off, sobbing buckets, and cheering loudly all in a span of 5 minutes, lauded by critics, and even take home a few academy awards.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, after only 5 years, both the critics and the audience would then say that it's not as good as How To Train Your Dragon 2 as well as questioning what the fuck happened in 2016 to make it the worse year in movies all because of the release of Kung Fu Panda 3...

I wish I was a meme generator!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but the memes aren't funny

I wish I could practice archery in my home

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you "accidentally" kill all your love ones in the process... before you kill yourself through an arrow to the knee...

I wish I was part of the Holograms!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

they only need part of you so your arms are chopped off.

I wish my internet wasn't being so stupid right now.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will continue to be stupid [forever] starting tomorrow...

I wish I had a cool bod!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, you're encased in ice

I wish I had every rock and metal album released in the recent century

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Every one of them explodes after the first time you listen to them.

I wish for more wishes.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, those wishes stabs you directly in both the heart and brain...

I wish After Earth had a much better ending!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, at the cost of a good narrative

I wish for a plate of Piranha with chips

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the Piranha's not sedated, since it can breath/act on land, and the "chips" are American potato chips...

I wish Eggman new what "PINGAS" meant!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now he hates it

I wish I could get Commander Shepard posthumously promoted to Captain

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, at that point, all of his crew mates must be part of the Reaper...

I wish Kratos got his normal life back!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now the God of War series never happened

I wish my idea of the perfect ending of Mass Effect 3 is canon in the next game

(Incidentally, my perfect idea is High EMS Synthesis)