Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can't control natural causes... like that tree impaling your stomach...

I wish I did get a Sweet 16 birthday party!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but I can get overly attached

I wish to control electronics with my mind

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, nature turns on you, thus leading to a global war of the world... No one makes it back unchanged, negatively speaking...

I wish Big Hero 6 was a longer movie!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now it's 5 hours

I wish I could mod life

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's too glitchy to continue living through life...

I wish I could blaze saddles!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now the horses keep catching fire, you numbskull!

I wish I had model spaceships in a display case

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, I own the display case, thus I own everything inside said display case... including the model spaceships...

I wish my friend understood my obscure reference!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, you die now!

I wish I had Cornucopia technology

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can never translate it properly or effectively...

I wish the war was over!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, total genocide counts as ending a war, right?

I wish we had a technological utopia by now

 

[TheVampwizimp_v1legacy]

Granted, but it only comes after technology has eradicated all human life. Utopia belongs to the robots!

I wish everything I think is true.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but you're a pessimist, enough said

I wish for a Jim Sterling themed shooter, with Mr Sterling against armies of shitty developers

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, Yahtzee roasts the shit out of that game in the most negative way possible, thus insulting Jim Sterling himself...

I wish the Jetix TV block came back!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

It makes the tv so heavy it falls over and breaks.

I wish Pete Postlethwaite was still alive.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, he'll now have no soul...

I wish Scotty D always dropped the bomb!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, quite literally

I wish I could double jump, like in games

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you'll hit the ground at double the pain every time...

I wish for more Steam money!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, all things that go on sale are shite

I wish I'd wake up in the land of chocolate