Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It is launched into space instead.

I wish for Google to take over the earth.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. Their products are now very buggy due to them not caring anymore.

I wish Microsoft would start making service packs for Windows XP again.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. She leaves the country with the child without your knowledge.

I wish for a new pair of shoes.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. Zombies exit their graves every night in order to dance the Thriller.

I wish for world peace.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. However we are too busy fighting the new alien threats that have emerged.

I wish for more zombies dancing to Thriller.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. However, according to RPG rules, they leave fabulous cash prizes behind and every night, they are hunted down.

I wish for a sentient broom.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. However, the broom's obsession with cleaning drives a wedge between the two of you. A divorce is inevitable. (Oh, you loved the broom BTW). All life includes you. It's good to be on fire.

I wish for a vacuum that actually worked.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. It works too well and now you lack curtains, carpets and small pieces of furniture.

I wish for the captcha to explain what teddybear caffeine means

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. The answer is more horrifying than you could have possibly imagined.

I wish that Luigi could come get rid of my ghost problem.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Hannibal has it with your liver and some fava beans.

I wish for sleep!

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. Chianti, Fava Beans and liver. Hannibal Lecter comes for a visit though. . Sometimes sleep is eternal (dun dun duuuun)

I wish for a river of booze.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You drown in this river. (Best. Death. Ever.) No you don't.

I wish to have a death half as awesome as drowning in a river of booze.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Too bad that any future comics fail to be funny.

I wish for a cape.