Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[darth.pixie]

Granted. It's a mimic cape and it waits for you to be asleep before it eats you.

I wish for a fireworks show.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. However it's only made up of sparklers and snakes. However, it's really a tiger cub. As it matures, it develops a taste for your flesh.

I wish for a large quantity of gunpowder.

 

[darth.pixie]

You too? Granted! That's it. Enjoy! I will.

I wish I had a crowbar.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It's actually kinda boring unlike the games.

I wish I could spend the whole day watching Tom and Jerry.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It's all deposited on your bed.

I wish for a job in garbage sanitation.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. You will never get the smell out of your clothes.

I wish I ruled a country.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. It comes with a very strict Victorian lady that tries to teach you proper drinking tea etiquette.

I wish Sherlock Holmes were real.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. Almost all of the world's population goes insane from an overload of knowledge.

I wish I had some vodka.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. They are now all insane and sent to asylums and you have no one to talk to anymore.

I wish I had some absinthe now...

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. It's the very first Vegemite ever invented from back in 1922. Enjoy!

I wish for robots to develop sentience.

 

[SpaceSpork]

Granted, but Satan comes and eats it.

I wish for a calculator that can run Doom so I can play Doom in my math class.