Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. But it isn't the head you were thinking. All the men in the world cry profusely. :'(

I wish to anger an ancient deity.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It's rubbed by...Fluffy!

I wish to be cursed by my ancient deity.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Fluffy eats the dentist.

I wish to ride C'thulu through the sky!

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It is placed firmly between your third and fourth ribs.

I wish for a haunted forest.

 

[Link_to_Future]

(That was the most thoroughly ruined wish ever.)

Granted. It's a battery acid fountain.

I wish to banish all the Rosie ghosts.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You die horribly. What did you expect?

I wish to understand the motives of everything ever.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You get to poke my grandma. She is provoked...and aroused.

I wish that grandma would leave me alone for now. Knowing that motive is...horrifying.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, she died of a heart attack. You are free to be as homicidal as you want.

I wish for more people to know I am drunk.

 

[Bradd94]

Granted! But the fire consumes your house, family and friends. You're now alone.

I wish for chicken.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. But it's my fire. You can't have any. It is uncooked. Hope you don't mind e coli.

I wish to eat the nastiest meal ever prepared.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Now you are consumed by it.

I wish for Dark's ashes.