Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. But the next poster will ruin it.

I wish to excrete gold coins.

 

[Voodoomancer]

Granted, but it's the wrong Buffy.

I wish this and that and other things.

 

[Voodoomancer]

Granted. You were. But not anymore.

I wish for success.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but the only way for you to succed is to murder all your friends and family and pretend to be all of them each day.

[sub][sub][sub]Don't ask me how that will make you succesful, It just will.[/sub][/sub][/sub]

I wish I could speak in text bubbles.

 

[Voodoomancer]

Granted, but they all blew away with the wind, so you're mute now.

I wish you a merry February.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. I Get the greatest Febuary because of that wish, but then the rest of the year is so shitty I end up coming to kill you, thinking that it's your fault this year sucked.

I wish that all my English homework wrote itself.

 

[Voodoomancer]

Granted! It does, but all it writes is BDSM adult fiction.

I wish for a chest full of diamonds.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, your organs have now been replaced by diamonds.

I wish for a cup of noodles.

 

[GodofDisaster]

Granted but your in a desert and have no hot water to cook them with.

I wish I knew what I was born to do.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you are struck down by lightning before you can accomplish it.

I wish America would stop bragging about its military.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. They don't brag anymore because they spend all their time crushing nearby nations.
Canada is the first target.

I wish for a matador.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, however he is hostile and cut off your leg.

I wish for this wish to backfire.

 

[Voodoomancer]

Granted. Nothing happens, as the backfire backfires.

I wish for 4.

 

[Nopodop]

Granted, you get 4 creepers.

I wish for an epicly giant and delicious cookie.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You are crushed by its epic giantness.

I wish that more people used Buffy speak.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. The mods take not of your increase post count, become convinced that you are hacking their servers, and ban you immediately.

I wish for some good jazz.