Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Robert632]

Granted. It's sour. So sour that your mouth explodes.

I wish for a pen that won't ever run out of ink. And it doesn't use my blood to write. That's just dumb.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

granted but it only works when you use it to write swear filled hatemail to the people you love

I wish thier were all the garbage in all of the worlds landfills would suddenly be biodegradable

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted, but it biodegrades in a week and it leaves the spot it was on forever smelling disgusting.

I wish I could write beautiful novels.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but then your computer dies, you can't find a writing utensil, and you're unable to cut your skin.

I wish for a piece of cheesecake.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

granted but its month old and eating it gives you dysentery

I wish I wish I was a fish

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You're Fred the fish.


I wish for a chainsaw wielding puppy

 

[RoseCoveredCadaver]

Granted, but the knowledge has the unfortunate side effect of blowing your mind.


I wish I could be a cheese wheel.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but no one wants to eat you..

I wish for a fancy NASA pen.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It's so fancy it's actually impossible to use.

i wish for a grinning cactus.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but it gives you a high five cause it's so happy to see you.

I wish for a time machine.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted, but it can only move forward in time at the same speed we are currently going.

I wish for silence.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Your teacher is an ass though, so (s)he decides that, if you even get one question right, you fail all school courses. And (s)he doesn't tell anyone this.

I wish for a fur coat.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Spoiler: Granted. But Fluffy doesn't like you wearing fur.

I wish Fluffy was my pet.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. You get coffee minus the cup. All over you.

I wish for great wealth.