Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, it's broken.

I wish I was really good at something.

 

[jhlip]

Granted.
Its masturbating to your mother in the shower.


I wish I could cure cancer.

 

[GunstarHero]

Granted, but you can only cure it by masturbating to your mother in the shower.

I wish for world peace.

 

[Baradiel]

Granted, but everyone is dead. No people equals no conflict: World Peace.

I wish I had an ultimated supply of Coca Cola.

 

[Athol]

Granted, but its sealed in an impenetrable vault.

I wish for the destruction of reality.

 

[cryogeist]

...you sick bastard

I wish that that did not happen :3

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, his wish gets ruined, like you were supposed to do.

I wish for a medium sized solar system.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted you die from lack of oxygen

I wish i did not have to wish

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you can never post here again.

I wish I had a popsicle.

 

[Baradiel]

Granted, but it's melted.

I wish I had a grand piano.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You get a grand pano, but some pyromaniac breaks into your house and lights it up, leaving it as nothing but ash.

I wish for some ash right now.

 

[leedwashere]

Granted, but his pikachu zaps you and he won't put out

I wish there was quicktravel

 

[GunstarHero]

Granted, but you have no 'start' button to access it with.

I wish that I could fly, just so I could belittle R. Kelly.

 

[cryogeist]

granted! guess what happens?
it involves a plane!

I wish for cake

 

[Icarion (aka Stockholm)]

Granted.
George Lucas just made another Star Wars movie.

I wish I had a dime for everytime someone put down George Lucas

 

[Athol]

Granted, now the whole world understands EVERYTHING about you, from your political views to your deepest secrets and darkest most perverse fantasys.

I wish I had a small glass of water

 

[Icarion (aka Stockholm)]

Ninja'd
Granted, but now everyone you know libido goes up at the sight of you

I wish I had a pan of lemon bars