Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Ice Car]

Granted, but they fall out in a week again.

I wish there were signatures on this forum.

 

[Nouw]

Granted, but all of them are gifs/pictures of your childhood heroes/cartoons and etc turned into Rule 34.

I wish for world war.

 

[Ice Car]

Granted , but the first place that is hit is your own hometown and your whole family is killed.

I wish for infinite wishes.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but none of them come true.

I wish for a fish!

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Granted, but it's been rotting for three weeks.

I wish that the Martians invaded the Earth.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but they kill you too, calling you a traitor.

I wish for nothing.

 

[SkyeNeko]

Granted, but your brain just exploded.

I wish for a bottle of Coke!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but 300 mentos teleport into your stomach the moment you start to drink.

I wish that this post will be posted.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. However, it was offensive to some obscure subculture and you have been banned.

I wish to be a king.

 

[Stephen Proud]

Granted, but you are novelist Stephen King and will be forever cursed with writer's cramp.

I wish for televised real-life Mario Kart.

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. Your house is the circuit.

I wish for a katana.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It is currently positioned in your spleen.

I wish for six African Elephants.

 

[Nouw]

Granted but they want to eat all your food.

I wish for Daft Punk to play in Auckland of New Zealand in 2014 so I can attend.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Tickets are sitting at around $1,000,000.

I wish I had a giant rampaging reptile.

 

[Ice Car]

Granted, but it murders you and your family and goes on a rampage, killing the whole town.

I wish a steady source of income/money.

 

[Icarion (aka Stockholm)]

Granted, but the government take 99.99% of it in Taxes.

I wish I had a Dragon Age 2 demo.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted! But you have to pay $40 for it.

I wish Red Lobster would blow up. All of them!

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. I'd say duck, but don't bother - there's no escape from that shrapnel.

I wish for money.

 

[SkyeNeko]

Granted, but it is quickly burning up due to spontaneous combustion.

I wish CSI would churn out more episodes...

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but they all suck so hard that it isn't even funny.

I wish I could concentrate.