Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[pyramid head grape]

Granted. you must remain sleepless forever! O.O

I wish for space cookies.

 

[The Thinker]

Granted, but then the Space Core yells "SPACE!" at you for as long as the cookies are in your possession.

I wish that my interpretation of my teacup-based existence will always be the correct one.

 

[pyramid head grape]

Granted. It failed... >.> <.<

I wish for cider! :3

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, there's now a small puddle of cider on the ground in front of you. :3

I wish for a hug.

 

[The Thinker]

Granted. By a bear.

I wish pyramid head grape (or another) would un-nonexist me.

 

[klaynexas3]

granted, but he kills you after noticing you exist

i wish i knew what the thinker was thinking about

 

[J4D3N]

Granted, but the thing the thinker was thinking about was so horrific it scars you for life.

I wish for a minute to pass

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, it is a minute full of people stabbing you.

I wish for chocolate.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted, it gains sentiance and kills you in revenge for eating its friends.

I wish for bitches.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Every person in your life is a complete *****, nagging you until the day you die.

I wish for something decent to be on tv right now.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted, it gets canceled after the third episode.

I wish for an ice cream.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you get iced cream, but it's too frozen for you to eat. If you try you get frost bite.

I wish for a golden pen that writes out in silver.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted, the silver letters are in quicksliver.

I wish to own the Philipines.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but then you hate them as soon as you've got them and you sell them.

I wish for a second chance to ask out this girl that I like. And that she happily says yes.

 

[The Thinker]

Granted, but she only did it because she misheard you. Muhaha! Akwardness.

I wish to not be dead anymore.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted, enjoy your transhumanist existence as a digital consciousness forever craving organic sensations.

I wish to be go beyond the impossible.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You defy the way things are...Which rips a hole in the universe, ending everthing. No one knows of your achievement, plus y'know, we're dead.

I wish that the poster who ruins this wish doesn't get a wish.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted. SOAD massacres all the wishgivers. FUCK THE SYSTEM!

I wish for a concert in my bedroom.

 

[Vesuvius Hetlan]

Granted. Its Rebecca Black. And she's singing Friday.

I wish to date a girl with prosthetic legs and a large facial scar running down her cheek.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted. Cyberpunk Hanibal Lecter has a sex change.

I wish to be drawn and hung. In an art gallery.