Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Robert632]

Granted. You can't stop teleporting. EVER.

I wish for my stomach to be full

[sub][sub] This should be good...[/sub][/sub]

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it's full OF BEES!

I wish for a funny ringtone.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You get lost at the bottom of the sea, which is so dark that you can't see shit.

I wish for CHANGE!!!!!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted here's $3.50.

I wish for more money than I can count.

 

[Nouw]

Granted, but you can't count at all.

I wish for heresy.

 

[steeple]

Spoiler: granted

I wish for more SPESS!

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Lord of the Rings is remadeIN SPEEEESS. It...does not go over well.

I wish for the next new species to be discovered to have like, 17 legs and 3.5 heads. Maybe a torso the size of a large hippo.

 

[M0rp43vs]

Granted, it's a mutated human. That human is you

I wish for a lawyer

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, it's new to you but was made in the 1960's and is not in color. It wasn't made to accept cable or satellite and can only recieve two channels if you're standing just right with the bunny ears.

I wish for a magical penguin.

 

[JokerboyJordan]

Granted, he pecks you to death and burns you with his fire breath.

I wish I could catch 'em all in Pokemon

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but once you caught them all, none of them will listen to you, so you can't do anything with them, and then the game blows up.

I wish for it to snow outside.

 

[JokerboyJordan]

Granted, but then the never ending blizzard brings about a New Ice Age.

I wish the Escapist layout changed back to the old one.

 

[M0rp43vs]

Granted but people who initially supported this flip flopped, found problems to complain about with the old one and claimed they liked the new one anyway.
Sadly, you get lynched for your troubles

I wish for a genie

 

[BadPublicity]

Granted, but you don't get any wishes.

I wish for a new computer!

 

[scorptatious]

Granted. But it's immediately afflicted with dozens of viruses.

I wish I could go to England.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You are in the part of England that Attack the Block is in(south London I believe).. During the movie.

I wish I could eat a whole raw fish by myself.

 

[M0rp43vs]

Granted, though you should have wished for the ability to breathe the atmosphere as well or at least a space suit.
Princess Luna kindly buries your remains.

I wish for an Enviro-bear 2000

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, it blasts you with its laser eyes and your body no longer functions.

I wish for a little ghost that will follow me around.

 

[Kae]

Granted, but he tries to kill you every time you turn your back on him, thereby being very annoying.

I wish to know magick so I can resurrect that guy that died in the other forum.

 

[steeple]

granted, and as nice of a gesture it is, I'm already decomposed, so Resurrecting me now will only bring the zombie apocalypse...
but thanks though!

I wish I had the voice of a thousand singers