Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you pass by it in the hallway, and are unable to enter.

I wish I could meet Fatboy Slim.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it's at his funeral.

I wish for George Lucas to make more Star Wars edits.

 

[TheSYLOH]

Granted, he decides that Star Wars was a giant mistake, leaching intelligent people from solving the world's problems, getting laid and otherwise improving the gene pool.
His last edit is to remove Star Wars entirely, he destroys all copies of it.
An aspiring super-villian, who would other wise be sucked into a star wars obsession, realizes that he's been wasting his time and gets to work taking over the world.
You spend the rest of your life as his slave.

I wish for more wishes.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, the amount of wishes crush you before you make another wish.

I wish to live in the world of the Elder Scrolls.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You are a Falmer at the bottom rungs of their society.

I wish to live in the world of Final Fantasy XII (Ivalice).

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but you are never played with again.

I wish for popcorn.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, it tastes like piss.

I wish for good popcorn.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but it's so good that you can never leave the cinema.

I wish for a tame, non-lethal dinosaur.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted. The non-lethal dinosaur gets eaten by a lethal dinosaur.

I wish for to live in London.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but you are catapulted back to August 2011, and your house is in Tottenham.

I wish I lived in New York City.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. I don't even have to try to ruin this one, though, because living in New York is expensive and the city is disgusting, anyway.

I wish I had my own pet Missingno! What could possibly go wrong!? ^_^

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Granted, but given that Missingno is actually yourself stored in the Dex, he murders you and becomes "you".

I wish I had a perfectly functioning time machine. Come on, be creative

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but are stepped on by a Stegosaurus loudly pronouncing "I am a Steg-o-saurus!"

I wish for a clear night tonight.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, it's clearly going to snow tonight.

I wish for free pizzas for a year.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

YEY!! I LOVE SNOW!!

Granted, but they're fished out of a skip!

I wish for a ZP episode

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Granted, Yahtzee states his opinion on a certain TheEmoSpeeds666. This can't end well for the poor bastard.

I wish for Europe to get out of the Ice Age it is currently experiencing.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Now it';s boilinghot( as in you are actually boiling.)

I wish for cowardly ways.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted. Welcome to the show Mr. Noel Coward!

I wish for Robert632's rainbow kitty

 

[Protocol95]

Granted. You die slowly because of the radiation coming from that cat. How do you think it kept changing colours?

I wish to be unbeatable at poker.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but you are so envied that you are killed in your sleep.

I wish for 1 new penny.