Science and maths jokes anyone?

[targren]

A group of mathematical functions are at a party.
In the corner, ex stands bitter and alone.
Noticing this, 10x wanders over to him.
"Come on, integrate yourself", she says.
"Why?" responds ex, "it wouldn't make any difference if I did."

Nerd, and proud of it!

At the next party, though, he met d/dy and was forever changed...

 

[AkJay]

Au-Th-E-Hu-Ma-N-I-T-E!!
(Oh the Humanity)

Also- ITT: people quoting the Robot butler in Fallout 3.

 

[Cmdr_Vimes]

Today in the news there was a terrible incident at a pie factory.

3.1415 people were injured

 

[sexiplexi]

Why did the cat fall off the roof?

Because it lost its mu

:L

 

[Deleted]

Johnny was a chemists son,
but johnny is no more.
for what he thought was H[sub]2[/sub]0
was H[sub]2[/sub]SO[sub]4[/sub]

 

[UnrealCanine]

b4i(rootu)ru/18

 

[Zetsubou]

A room temperature super conductor walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't server your kind. The super conductor puts up no resistance.

Wrong way round. Super conductors at room temperature have lots of resistance. They must be super cooled before they have no resistance.

I thought a perfect superconductor (ala, the future) is supposed to have no resistance. Currently our superconductors have to be chilled to freezing hell before they work right? Or am I thinking of this wrong?

 

[messy]

A room temperature super conductor walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't server your kind. The super conductor puts up no resistance.

Wrong way round. Super conductors at room temperature have lots of resistance. They must be super cooled before they have no resistance.

I thought a perfect superconductor (ala, the future) is supposed to have no resistance. Currently our superconductors have to be chilled to freezing hell before they work right? Or am I thinking of this wrong?

well yeah the goal is to reach this point, and the original post does say "room temperature super conductor" implying we have reached that futuristic location in the joke so the joke works.

 

[Spacelord]

My car broke down. So I took it to a quantum mechanic.
"Can you fix it?" I asked. He replied: "I'd have to see it first."

<3 Hawking.

 

[L33tsauce_Marty]

9x-71>3(3x-7u) Solve for I.

Spoiler

9x-7i>9x-21u
-9x -9x
-7i/-7 > -21u/-7
I <3u

Hope you like that!

I remember that from graphjam, my girlfriend loved it.

 

[T-Bone24]

A neutron walks into a bar. "How much for a drink in here?" The barkeep replies, "For you? No charge."

EDIT: CURSES! Ninja'd.

 

[the_dancy_vagrant]

A chemist challenges a physicist to a water drinking contest. The chemist walks up to the bar and says "I'll have a glass of H20". The physicist walks up to the bar and says "I'll have a glass of H20 too".

The chemist won.

Had to think about that one for a second, well done

ALSO: my contribution, somewhat.

Q: How do you tell if an engineer is an extrovert?
A: He looks at your shoes instead of his when he's talking to you.

 

[Alcari]

A biologist, a mathematician and a physicist are all watching an empty building.
They see a man and a women enter, later, two men and a women leave.
"Aha", says the biologist, "they've reproduced!"
"No," says the physicist, "our initial presumption must have been wrong."
"Well," says the mathematician, "if one more person enters the building, it'll be empty again."



An engineer, a mathematician and a physicist go hunting. The physicist spots a deer, measures the windspeed, weight of the bullet and explosive, punches the numbers into a calculator and takes the shot. He's off to the left by two feet.
"Well, no wonder you missed with a gun like that." The engineer pulls out a gun with a laser range-finder, wind compensation, automatic stabilizers, you name it. He shoots and is off the right by two feet.
They both turn to the mathematician, who just says "On average, we got it right between the eyes!"

 

[Voodoomancer]

There are only 10 kind of people. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Damn, you beat me to it >.<

 

[US Crash Fire]

Johnny was a thirsty boy, but then he was no more,
For what he thought was H2O, was H2SO4!

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Girls = Time+ Money (girls require time and money)
Time = Money (famous saying)
Girls = Money^2 (substitution)
Money = root of all evil (saying)

therefore

Girls = (root of evil)^2
Girls = evil

Where's my cookie?

You deserve so much more xD

This isn't so much a joke as it is geeky in general:

roses are #FF0000
violets are #0000FF
all my base
are belong to you

not a joke but it made a few friends of mine giggle

 

[Alcari]

Girls = Time+ Money (girls require time and money)
Time = Money (famous saying)
Girls = Money^2 (substitution)

Uhhh... no
If A = B + C
and B = C
then A = B + B = 2B

so girls = 2*Money

 

[tmujir955]

Girls = Time+ Money (girls require time and money)
Time = Money (famous saying)
Girls = Money^2 (substitution)
Money = root of all evil (saying)

therefore

Girls = (root of evil)^2
Girls = evil

Where's my cookie?

Wrong.
Money + Money =/= Money^2, it equals 2Money
Money * Money = Money^2

That being said, it was still a good joke.

My mistake, should of been money x time.