Science and maths jokes anyone?

[The_Graff]

A chemist, a biologist and a physicist all start climbing a mountain, it is a truly tough climb, but they know that no one else has ever climbed this mountain before keeps them going. its a dangerous and lengthy trip, there are several times when they almost fall to their deaths. but, finally, after several weeks of climbing they finally arrive at the summit, and they look around, happy and slightly smug that they are the first to ever reach this peak. then the physicist notices a rather well built chalet just over there, on the peak. this troubles the scientists as they are sure that they must be the first toever climb this mountain, so they slowly walk over and open the door and go inside. inside is easily the most well decorated and luxurious house they have ever been in, and looking around they can see ... a theologian and a philosopher who have lived there for years.

ha ha

(Cue irate dwakins fanbois in 3, 2, 1. go fanboi.)

 

[Xender90]

There is a physicist and an engineer on one end of a room, and a prize on the other. The two men are told they can take a step halfway across the room, another step half of the remaining distance and so on until they get there.
"It's imposable." says the physicist, and gives up. The engineer says "close enough."

 

[Vacancie]

Knowledge is in books. It is well known that knowledge is power, and power is energy, and energy is matter, and matter is mass. This means that libraries distort the space time continuum. So be careful - a wrong turn in your local library could leave you stranded in the Bodleian in Oxford.

Discworld!

 

[Deus Est]

*snip*

Discworld!

Got it in one! I've been reading the science of discworld a bit too much.

 

[Duskwaith]

A man walks into a bar and says "Can i have a pint of adinosine triphosphate"
The barman replys "Sure that will be 80p"

Yeah...

I love you forever. That Made my Day.

You are most certinly welcome thank god some people got it i was afraid it was too nerdy if there is such a thing

 

[General Vagueness]

I don't get the infinite mathematicians joke xD

It's a calculus thing.

 

[Plinglebob]

Knowledge is Power

Power Corrupts

Therefore Knowledge corrupts

Reading is knowledge
Knowledge is power
Power corrupts
Corruption is a crime
crime never pays.

So if you keep reading you'll go broke.

Knowledge is Power
Power corrupts
Go to School and become evil!

 

[General Vagueness]

A room temperature super conductor walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't server your kind. The super conductor puts up no resistance.

Wrong way round. Super conductors at room temperature have lots of resistance. They must be super cooled before they have no resistance.

No you interpreted the phrasing wrong, it's a superconductor that superconducts at room temperature, and they've been trying to find such a substance for years.

 

[Ren3004]

A man walks into a bar and says "Can i have a pint of adinosine triphosphate"
The barman replys "Sure that will be 80p"

Yeah...

I love you forever. That Made my Day.

You are most certinly welcome thank god some people got it i was afraid it was too nerdy if there is such a thing

Can you believe I just got that now? It's pretty good.

 

[Duskwaith]

Its crafty i didnt really undersstand until someone spelt it useing ATP.

 

[Rhatar Khurin]

All these jokes make my head hurt. The ones i even understand anyway.

 

[General Vagueness]

9x-71>3(3x-7u) Solve for I.

Spoiler

9x-7i>9x-21u
-9x -9x
-7i/-7 > -21u/-7
I <3u

Hope you like that!

you didn't type 7i in the first part

 

[martin's a madman]

9x-71>3(3x-7u) Solve for I.

Spoiler

9x-7i>9x-21u
-9x -9x
-7i/-7 > -21u/-7
I <3u

Hope you like that!

you didn't type 7i in the first part

I edited it after I caught the mistake.
Edit: I THOUGHT I edited it after I caught it. Guess not. Fixed now.

 

[Xender90]

There is a physicist and an engineer on one end of a room, and a prize on the other. The two men are told they can take a step halfway across the room, another step half of the remaining distance and so on until they get there.
"It's imposable." says the physicist, and gives up. The engineer says "close enough."

 

[Xender90]

There is a physicist and an engineer on one end of a room, and a prize on the other. The two men are told they can take a step halfway across the room, another step half of the remaining distance and so on until they get there.
"It's imposable." says the physicist, and gives up. The engineer says "close enough."

 

[Beatrix]

if you want science and math jokes, look no further than xkcd [http://www.xkcd.com/]

That's what I wanted to say

 

[chris11246]

My friend told me this one:
Lim Engineer = Business major
GPA->0

 

[Danik93]

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink and the bartender says "No charge for you."

You stole it from that robot in fallout 3, the robot that makes really bad jokes. :/

I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts for burn victims.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Ok, fuck that, I'm not writing that down.
I'd be soo banhammer'd.