SEX!!!

[damselgaming]

"the act of sex itself lasts anywhere between seven and fifteen minutes"
I beg to differ.

 

[ExodusinFlames]

I don't know where I'm going with this, I just wanted to know why here sex seems to be mostly looked down upon as something "dirty" and "unpure", while I for one think that it can be something beautiful.

Thank religion of the last 2k years.

Sex isn't even slighty important in a relationship...

Agreed with this smart person.

I respectfully disagree. If it wasn't important, then marriages wouldn't be falling apart constantly as a result of a "Lack of intimacy". It is basic human need.

Sex is a requirement of self actualization. While some folks have a lower drive for it, it makes it no less important. Gender is largely irrelevant as a few people have pointed out. Don't make me pull out the hierarchy of needs. In the MOST BASIC of needs, sex is there. Plain and simple.

If anyone can give me a real, non-religious reason why consensual intimacy is bad, then perhaps I can be persuaded to retract what I said.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Well, I really don't understand why people care about it so much, or even want to have it, for that matter. It is disgusting, in actuality. I mean, all the bodily fluids, disease, and proximity to the anus 'n what not...
I'm stayin' a virgin until I find a lifelong mate who can make that sound appealing. (among other qualities of course.)

Let's see:
It feels great/second only to hard drugs
It is intimate.
Surely if you loved someone you'd want to be intimate?
No offence, but saying it's disgusting is more telling of your age than any actual truth of the matter.

No, you cannot deny that sex is disgusting. The only thing is, you have hormones that tell you to ignore that fact and enjoy it anyway. I don't take kindly to ageism, and considering your reasons for why sex is good, I stand by the idea that maturity is more important than age.

Wait, what? I can deny sex is disgusting. It's a perfectly normal thing. You just haven't experienced it, so you can't judge.

I second this. There's nothing inherently disgusting about sex. The reason we like it, as is the reason we like anything, is because it's deeply rooted into us. So are the things that we feel are disgusting. So are the things that we think taste sweet - a glucose molecule isn't inherently sweet - we just get good feedback from sugar rich foods because our ancestors who developed the mutation to get good responses from sugar rich foods had more motivation for eating them and a better chance at survival.

You can't claim anything is inherently disgusting, because disgusting is just a motavator that (ideally) keeps us from doing things that would prevent our genes from spreading. If you find sex disgusting, technically speaking, that's a missfire.


And [spoiler:] sex is great.

 

[veryboringfact]

Sex isn't even slighty important in a relationship...

Oh get real. Sex is almost everything in a relationship. In fact, the reason we feel attraction is to mate.

Explain my sexual attraction to men as I am too male then, please.

Do i think sex is important in a reltionship ? Yes.
Do i think sex is important on videogaming websites ? No.

If you don't wan to talk about this stuff it's fine by me, but I would like to point to your attention that the Escapist is not just a gaming website, and this thread was posted in the Off-topic section.

So why don't you just run along back to the gaming section, and we'll all be happy.

Ok let me be clearer, i don't think this question is relevant ANYWHERE on the internet. The internet is void of sex by it's nature, and this thread is full of people talking about sex who have either admitted to never having sex or imply it through their wording.

And did i not respond to the original question in my post ? I said i think sex is important in a relationship, so i won't be running back anywhere.

Sex doesn't belong on the internet? Tell that to all those porn websites...

And why does porn exist on the internet ? To jack off to. As long as you are sitting at your computer browsing the internet, i'm pretty sure you're not having sex.

On topic, Most of the people obssessed by questions about sex are those with no experience of it, and if you tell yourself the reason you're a virgin is because sex is disgusting and not because your face is, it's because you're still in school. After highschool even ugly people can get laid.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

Sex doesn't belong on the internet? Tell that to all those porn websites...

Ba-dum tish

Not really. Nothing about what Erana said (in the section you quoted) relies on her experience on sex.

That's the whole point!

You're just trying to invalidate her(?) opinion with what amounts to a personal attack. People who use ad hominem fallacies leave a bad taste in my mouth. Consider that having had sex doesn't make you an expert.

Maybe you could show me where I used ad hominem attacks? I just said that she shouldn't have such an extreme view if all of her information about sex is second hand.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

To wait for someone who she feels is worthy, it's not such a foolish thing.

Actually, thinking that sex is about being 'worthy' or not is a foolish thing. Especially the obsession with virginity and the first time and blah blah blah.

Considering the first time can be awful enough to put people off sex, and that for a woman, sex for the first few times hurts, I wouldn't say being careful about it is anything but foolish.

@Cheeze_Pavilion: By worthy, I meant (at least) patient and caring. We can have standards, yes?

 

[Ago Iterum]

I took a course on women's biology. It was disgusting. And I wasn't talking about being repulsed by intimacy or the creation of life, I was talking about the fact that you would compare something to hard drugs.

And have you ever considered the idea that I am repulsed by sex and drugs not because of my age, but because I've seen some of how horrible and destructive both can be?

I don't get signals that tell me that there is goodness to be had in sex. All I see is the potential for pain, betrayal and heartbreak, which is a necessary toll for procreation. Sex can be intimate, but intimacy itself does not have to be sexual.

And sex is rarely a fit of passion. Don't lie to yourself and say such things. From what I have found from second-hand sources that don't rose-tint everything, its not really that great. It is about eleven minutes worth of something that may or may not be pleasurable, and is often awkward. Our society has further laden sex with shame, and you may have well ruined the relationship you once had with someone you care about. And people don't always have sex for sex, it is a filler, an attempt to deal with real life problems, much akin to worry-eating or drinking away one's cares.
Its like Disneyland. Everyone practically worships it as the ideal place for bliss and togetherness, but really, you're just sweaty, dirty, out a few hundred dollars, and you could have had as much fun from staying home and watching a movie.

Which of course spontaneously leads to this question: Have you ever had any?

No! Why the Hell would I go and loose my virginity at 17?
Why would I want to subjegate myself to something like that? I don't find joy in sexual activities, nor even the thought of it.
And I've seen the people who are having sex at my age. With few exceptions, they are making some of the worst choices in their life, without even addressing the intercourse.

I don't want sex to be something about pain, poor decisions, or risking diseases. It will come when it comes. At some point, I may find someone I fall in love with, and they may be right for me. If so, we will have a relationship. Sex may very well occur. If that happens, nothing will change on my opinion of sex as a disgusting, dangerous act, I will just (possibly) enjoy it anyway.
It seems so wrong to me that people raise sex to be the zenith of sensual experiences, without giving it any caution or respect.

And have you ever considered the idea that I am repulsed by sex and drugs not because of my age, but because I've seen some of how horrible and destructive both can be?

I don't get signals that tell me that there is goodness to be had in sex. All I see is the potential for pain, betrayal and heartbreak, which is a necessary toll for procreation. Sex can be intimate, but intimacy itself does not have to be sexual.

There's plenty of pain, betrayal, and heartbreak in *love* too.

Maybe you're just an asexual person--they exist--and you're explaining your orientation to yourself this way because it's easier to make sense of it this way. If your issue is with pain heartbreak and betrayal, you're *way* better off avoiding love than avoiding sex, so, this doesn't have to do with sex itself, it has to do with *your* sexual identity.

And sex is rarely a fit of passion. Don't lie to yourself and say such things. From what I have found from second-hand sources that don't rose-tint everything, its not really that great.

So if a source say sex is great, they "rose-tint everything" while if they say it isn't, they're reliable?

You're basically just disqualifying sources because they disagree with you.

At this point in my life, I am asexual. As a matter of heartbreak, I don't date and I don't invest too much of myself into other people. Whenever I think I've found a lifelong friend, I find that they think nothing of me.
I don't really trust people.

And I didn't mean that anyone who says that sex is great is wrong, I meant that... Well, the people I've found who are honest about sex have explained to me their experiences. The first time was so awkward, they had a hard time figuring out what really stimulated them, things like that. They described their best moments of intercourse. Some spoke of it as wonderful but fleeting, others lingered on the topic a little too long for my comfort. Of the women I talked to, a frequent problem was that no one told them that during sex, the clitoris would need to be stimulated, so they had gone decades without having had an orgasm during sex. Another person had had many partners, and had mostly good experiences with his sexual career.

I'm sorry, but the people who just say that all sex is the most amazing sensual experience in the world are... Well, I don't have any faith in broad, extreme generalizations.

Do you not understand? Nobody is having a go at you for not having sex, people are having a go at you for acting like you know exactly what it's like. You're stating 'facts' like sex is disgusting. That's an opinion, love. When you get a social life than involves boys, you can step down of your moral high horse and experience the most natural and important part of a relationship.

Until then, stop talking like you are experienced and knowledgable about it.

And for my last point, in every one of your posts you've gone overboard with the italics. leave the [i ] alone, it's annoying.

 

[Darth Brownie]

Sex is important in a relationship because it is not only desire and passion, its also an act of affection and trust

 

[Erana]

Words

There is no point in arguing with Erana. Something you do for pleasure, like sex, will always seem to be an irrational waste of time and energy to the ones not attracted by it. (It's the same with gaming btw)
I just hope you are really happy with your lack of sexual needs, and not driven by fear and prejudice.

*sighs*
That's the point I've been trying to make. Sex is something people do for pleasure. And if video games involved someone else's bodily fluids, I would also insist that gaming was disgusting.
And my distain for sex is essentially driven by fear. But isn't that how life is? At this point in my life, I could not improve my life by being open to sexual acts. Therefore, I will not persue it.
I have not actively created my own lack of sexual desires, and if I do develop a sex drive, I will handle it with care, but not irrationally deny myself.

I just don't understand what the argument is about in the first place. These are my opinions, and I've taken the time to develop them through people of a variety of ages, sexual orientations, and relationships.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Maybe you could show me where I used ad hominem attacks? I just said that she shouldn't have such an extreme view if all of her information about sex is second hand.

"You didn't have sex, therefore everything you said is invalid."

I'm paraphrasing.

 

[Jingermanoo]

People who go on about it being superfluous and unnecessary just can't get any.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Words

There is no point in arguing with Erana. Something you do for pleasure, like sex, will always seem to be an irrational waste of time and energy to the ones not attracted by it. (It's the same with gaming btw)
I just hope you are really happy with your lack of sexual needs, and not driven by fear and prejudice.

*sighs*
That's the point I've been trying to make. Sex is something people do for pleasure. And if video games involved someone else's bodily fluids, I would also insist that gaming was disgusting.
And my distain for sex is essentially driven by fear. But isn't that how life is? At this point in my life, I could not improve my life by being open to sexual acts. Therefore, I will not persue it.
I have not actively created my own lack of sexual desires, and if I do develop a sex drive, I will handle it with care, but not irrationally deny myself.

I just don't understand what the argument is about in the first place.

Kissing involves bodily fluids that are, in a healthy person, more dangerous than sex. And kissing, to me, isn't gross (if you do it right). So, do you think kissing is more disgusting than sex? Because it's definitely less hygienic.

 

[ExodusinFlames]

And not being rude to some of the posters here. If you are finding sexuality excessively disgusting, perhaps you belong to a category of people known as "Asexuals", and as such should stop judging others for enjoying themselves.

 

[short_name111]

Sex is fun^^

(Sorry, just had to lol)

 

[Xanadeas]

To wait for someone who she feels is worthy, it's not such a foolish thing.

Actually, thinking that sex is about being 'worthy' or not is a foolish thing. Especially the obsession with virginity and the first time and blah blah blah.

Considering the first time can be awful enough to put people off sex, and that for a woman, sex for the first few times hurts, I wouldn't say being careful about it is anything but foolish.

By worthy, I meant (at least) patient and caring. We can have standards, yes?

No! You must go out and sleep with the nearest available crack whore and contract gonareasyphlaids. D:< But in all seriousness people have standards because they find different things attractive. Me? I like brown hair, blue eyes, and people that don't enjoy most of the garbage run by Adult Swim on cartoon network. Some people however have very very low standards or none at all. Some have standards that are in reality impossible to meet. It's really all a matter of perspective.