Sex is as special as you make it. I also think it is important enough to figure out before marriage though. Its treatment and approach is part of your personality, something that is good to know about a prospective partner. Hell, the wife and I still had things to learn as we spent more time together but the headstart helped. XD
Sex.
- Thread starter Everin
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I think its fun, good way to spark up a relationship. I also find it funny when it gets brought up and there is always that one person who is like "its just method of reproduction that feels good to fool us in-".
I mean, seriously, who the fuck is that guy and how come he finds every thread about sex. I give it three pages until one finds his way in.
I mean, seriously, who the fuck is that guy and how come he finds every thread about sex. I give it three pages until one finds his way in.
Well I'm a kinky person so I couldn't have sex with any random person, but I don't think you should have to wait until marrige and stuff because I'm not religious or anything and I don't even plan on ever getting married (but still having a family and stuff).
It depends on the person, I would think.
I think the important part is to make sure you be responsible about it. The primary function of the act is reproduction, so I think anyone going into it, even with precautions, should understand and accept that possibility.
Is it just pleasure or just a relationship thing is simply up to the two involved in at that instance.
If you treat it as just pleasure without a relationship factor, you essentially are just using the other person as a masturbatory aid. Maybe you want to make sure they get their rocks off too, but your endgame is your pleasure. If that's how someone wants to see it, and both parties have that understanding, then fine. If you treat it as a mutual gain, working towards each other's pleasure and such, then cool. If you treat it as an expression of emotion and relationship, then again, make sure both parties understand that. You don't want a pleasure person mixed in with an interpersonal person. So as far as long-term and monogamy issues go, if a person treats it as an interpersonal interaction, they probably don't want to share, but maybe they do with an understanding that with them it is interpersonal and with others it is just pleasure.
For me and my wife, it is an interpersonal thing, and a pleasure thing, also a reproductive thing, and some or all at once. Sometimes we have sex to express our love and affirm each other, sometimes we have sex just to get our rocks off, and sometimes we have sex to have babies. None of those are mutually exclusive in any given instance. We are monogamous because we consider it a part of our relationship, not to be shared with others.
Other people might not consider sex an exclusive part of their relationship, and that's fine, so long as both parties understand and accept that.
So, it comes down to the individuals in each instance. You can't just comprehensively compartmentalize something like sex. Well, you can, but that doesn't mean it will work out.
I think the important part is to make sure you be responsible about it. The primary function of the act is reproduction, so I think anyone going into it, even with precautions, should understand and accept that possibility.
Is it just pleasure or just a relationship thing is simply up to the two involved in at that instance.
If you treat it as just pleasure without a relationship factor, you essentially are just using the other person as a masturbatory aid. Maybe you want to make sure they get their rocks off too, but your endgame is your pleasure. If that's how someone wants to see it, and both parties have that understanding, then fine. If you treat it as a mutual gain, working towards each other's pleasure and such, then cool. If you treat it as an expression of emotion and relationship, then again, make sure both parties understand that. You don't want a pleasure person mixed in with an interpersonal person. So as far as long-term and monogamy issues go, if a person treats it as an interpersonal interaction, they probably don't want to share, but maybe they do with an understanding that with them it is interpersonal and with others it is just pleasure.
For me and my wife, it is an interpersonal thing, and a pleasure thing, also a reproductive thing, and some or all at once. Sometimes we have sex to express our love and affirm each other, sometimes we have sex just to get our rocks off, and sometimes we have sex to have babies. None of those are mutually exclusive in any given instance. We are monogamous because we consider it a part of our relationship, not to be shared with others.
Other people might not consider sex an exclusive part of their relationship, and that's fine, so long as both parties understand and accept that.
So, it comes down to the individuals in each instance. You can't just comprehensively compartmentalize something like sex. Well, you can, but that doesn't mean it will work out.
You damn, sexy ninja you...holy_secret said:
Yeah, I think sex is great, but something that should only be done with someone you trust.
I wont try and stop anyone else, but I hold it sacred, its supposed to be the last part of bonding, the deal-sealer; and AFTER marriage at that. THEN the pleasure comes into play...which frankly, im excited for, but waitings just fine!
I don't believe sex to be sacred. However, I will only consider sex with people I know well and trust.
Sex is a natural activity we do every so often... I don't think holding it back till marriage is a very good idea because fighting your hormones is hard and sex does releave stress and makes you happy (somtimes). It has been built into us to reproduce and the pleasure of sex is the icing on the cake. Still i do think that you should only have sex with some one special and i do think people should get to know their partners a bit before they decide to have sex. I also beleive you should be at least 16 before you have sex and safe sex is encouraged. I do think there is a big difference in having sex and making love. Sex it quiet simple compared to making love and there are ways of stimualting sex but there isn't any way to simulate making love. I think that you can have sex with pretty much any one and get kind of the same results but you can't make love with just any one.
If you look at other animals they all have sex but i don't think you will see any animal making love (i could be wronge but i don't to much attention to animals getting busy)... I think love is somthing so complexe that only humans experience it (again i could be wrong). And don't think you could say they are the same thing.
If you look at other animals they all have sex but i don't think you will see any animal making love (i could be wronge but i don't to much attention to animals getting busy)... I think love is somthing so complexe that only humans experience it (again i could be wrong). And don't think you could say they are the same thing.
It means quite little to me, I have never had any inclination to pursue it and I can happily live without it. If I were to do it, it would have to be with someone I truly loved and cared about that needed it in our relationship. Otherwise I couldn't care less, there are more important and more interesting things for me to do.Everin said:That's the topic. But what do you think about sex? Like, do you think it's sacred, do you think it's just an activity, do you think it's something that you should wait to do, or dive right in on the first date? Would you do it with a stranger, or only with someone you truely know? Just your thoughts on sex. And why?
It's a delicate topic.
If you're not with someone you love your first time is really fucking awkward.
If you're with someone you love it's still pretty damn awkward.
But waiting is pointless, it's awesome after that.
Fucking, sex and making love are different things. In my opinion you shouldn't really fuck anyone. That makes me a hypocrite but I don't have these shining qualities that a man should possess.
Sex is pretty cool. Get as much of it as you can. Have a laugh, enjoy your bloody life. Win. What can you buy with regrets for fictional sins? Just be safe and all that jazz.
I imagine making love is something you save until you're married anyway, deliberately or not.
What you and someone else consent to doing behind closed doors is your own business. People can't judge you for it any more than they can judge you for liking apples or having brown eyes. Be happy and make others happy.
If you're not with someone you love your first time is really fucking awkward.
If you're with someone you love it's still pretty damn awkward.
But waiting is pointless, it's awesome after that.
Fucking, sex and making love are different things. In my opinion you shouldn't really fuck anyone. That makes me a hypocrite but I don't have these shining qualities that a man should possess.
Sex is pretty cool. Get as much of it as you can. Have a laugh, enjoy your bloody life. Win. What can you buy with regrets for fictional sins? Just be safe and all that jazz.
I imagine making love is something you save until you're married anyway, deliberately or not.
What you and someone else consent to doing behind closed doors is your own business. People can't judge you for it any more than they can judge you for liking apples or having brown eyes. Be happy and make others happy.
i think sex is just a lot of fun. i do tend to save it until the third or fourth date in the interest of making my partner work for it a little, but i've never seen anything wrong with girls who put out whenever they feel like it. just do it safely and there is no reason not to enjoy yourself to the fullest. life is too short to put off having sex until you're in your late twenties or early thirties, and people really shouldn't be getting married until they have careers. thus, have sex before marriage. also, having sex before marriage can actually point you in the right direction as far as chemistry and compatibility.
I am studying psychology. Being the go to guy on advice or just listening to friends and strangers I've heard a Lot of stories. I've also heard a few stories about after marriage.Everin said:
Sex is a complicated subject. That's what it mostly comes down to. People say wait until you are ready, but nobody defines the word 'Ready'. Everyone looks at sex differently, in their own way. That doesn't change the fact that it's an important part in everyone's life. It's part of who we are and how we express ourselves.
If you do wait until marriage it should support the fact that you two are rather dedicated and disciplined. Which will help your marriage last. Marriage should never be done half way.
but I think more importantly. Don't go into marriage without talking about sex. A LOT. You both have expectations, tons of them. Talk about them. Fantasies, kinks, or just things to try.
You can find out if you're sexually compatible without having sex. Make sure that you are.
Good luck, and keep strong. You're going to need a lot of will power.
I think people put too much stock into sex and/or making love. It's all just biology. Added note, I think "saving yourself" for marriage is a crazy idea (although a crazy idea anyone is free to make). Sexual chemistry is very important for a relationship. It's crucial information best learned sooner rather than later, and I never got why people would want to go into a serious relationship flying blind. But, hey, one of the good things about living in a liberal society is you're free to make your own choices as long as they do not harm anyone else.
Basically this. Plus, while i feel that sex is somewhat sacred, in my opinion the idea of "waiting until marriage" leads too many people to marry too young and/or marry only for sex. Sex should not be a reason to get married (or at least not a major reason).Daystar Clarion said:
As an extended virgin (ie 20+) it is a mystery to me. Mostly because it is somewhat dirty (not wrong mind you, just best word I can think of) and heavily desired. But then people tell me its overrated, and sitcoms make sex seem very mundane.
I clicked on the thread because of the name. That was successful shit if I ever saw it.
Oh, and sex is fun. Thought I should answer that seeing how its the kind of the topic. But I guess guys saying that is pretty normal. Oh its true though.
Especially... You know what? Never mind.
Oh, and sex is fun. Thought I should answer that seeing how its the kind of the topic. But I guess guys saying that is pretty normal. Oh its true though.
Especially... You know what? Never mind.