Sex.
- Thread starter Everin
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If your title is 'Sex.' , then the only acceptable first line is: "Now that i have your attention [something else entirely]."Everin said:That's the topic. But what do you think about sex? Like, do you think it's sacred, do you think it's just an activity, do you think it's something that you should wait to do, or dive right in on the first date? Would you do it with a stranger, or only with someone you truely know? Just your thoughts on sex. And why?
I think that sex is something that should be saved til the wedding bed, personally. I think that it is the ultimate act of love and it bonds you with the person you share it with. It's like you take the core of yourself and place it in the other person's possesion and if you do it with lots of people regularly, you split that core and violate yourself. But thats just my opinion
EDIT: When I say sex, I mean making love as well, not defining between sex and love making.
I am disappoint.
We exist, we are just usually taken by women who view sex at least a LITTLE more cavalierly than you do. I was 19 when I lost my virginity to my fiancee. It was special, and I regret it because I missed out on dozens of opportunities for sex to save myself for that special someone, who ended up being an evil *****. In fact, My first fuck-buddy is now my girlfriend, and things are great between us.NinjaDuckie said:
I find the idea of having sex outside a marriage as "violating one's self" laughable. Marriages are a piece of paper, and a large portion of them end in divorce, including the ones who "saved themselves".
Sex is fun, it's even more fun if you just let your hair down and enjoy it for what it is.
Sex is fun, it's even more fun if you just let your hair down and enjoy it for what it is.
I used to think sex was this big deal, that I should wait, but then I started fooling around and I realized it's really not. Sex only matters when you're not getting any or what you're getting isn't any good.
I don't believe in "free love," if anyone even still uses that term, if only because it's not safe anymore. One night stands are not my bag, and I find them to be rather reckless in this day and age. On the other side of the coin, I find waiting until the wedding night to be reckless as well. To deny that sex is not an important component to a healthy relationship, you run the risk of it ruining your relationship. A person's true nature comes out in the bedroom; problems with compatibility will crop up there before they come up at the dinner table or anywhere else. I would never marry someone until after I had sex with them.
I don't believe in "free love," if anyone even still uses that term, if only because it's not safe anymore. One night stands are not my bag, and I find them to be rather reckless in this day and age. On the other side of the coin, I find waiting until the wedding night to be reckless as well. To deny that sex is not an important component to a healthy relationship, you run the risk of it ruining your relationship. A person's true nature comes out in the bedroom; problems with compatibility will crop up there before they come up at the dinner table or anywhere else. I would never marry someone until after I had sex with them.
Yes, I like sex, it's pretty awesome. But to be honest I prefer "love making" because it is more intimate. I prefer getting to know someone before I get down to it, but a random fling can sometimes lead to a good thing, it's just not for me though. Spontaneous intimate sex is usually the best sex.
Personally I don't think sacred is the right word to describe it, more like private or intimate. I also don't think waiting until marriage is the best plan. Your first time doing it is probably the most awkward and nerve wracking thing you ever do in life, but it is certainly special. So waiting for the right moment to engage in the act can be important, just don't put it off forever, because you'll be kicking yourself for all those wasted opportunities
Personally I don't think sacred is the right word to describe it, more like private or intimate. I also don't think waiting until marriage is the best plan. Your first time doing it is probably the most awkward and nerve wracking thing you ever do in life, but it is certainly special. So waiting for the right moment to engage in the act can be important, just don't put it off forever, because you'll be kicking yourself for all those wasted opportunities
I've had a girlfriend for 11 months and I haven't slept with her. I love her, and it's not that I don't want to have sex with her; I just haven't. I don't really know how to explain it more than that.
And the first thing I thought when I read that: 'a marriage is just a divorce that hasn't happened yet!'Dags90 said:
Personally, I think western society really overstates the importance of sex, and presents it as a dichotomy to young people. It's cool, it's fun, if you don't manage to do it before a certain age you're a loser, but don't do it until you're married. What.The.Fuck.
Given the right circumstances, yes, sex is great... and yes, it's also a risk in the wrong circumstances. But we've fetishized it too far. It's always got to be this huge production, billed as the best thing on Earth. Which sets virgins up for disappointment. Let me be clear: to any virgin "saving themselves" for "the right moment/person/whatever", your first time will disappoint you. Sex takes practice to get good at. A little psychological/physiological learning helps as well.
As for marriage, let it be a religious institution and stop pressuring people outside of your religion to do it. The biggest reason we have so many divorces is because marriage is expected of people, yet few people are actually prepared for it... or even really want it.
Given the right circumstances, yes, sex is great... and yes, it's also a risk in the wrong circumstances. But we've fetishized it too far. It's always got to be this huge production, billed as the best thing on Earth. Which sets virgins up for disappointment. Let me be clear: to any virgin "saving themselves" for "the right moment/person/whatever", your first time will disappoint you. Sex takes practice to get good at. A little psychological/physiological learning helps as well.
As for marriage, let it be a religious institution and stop pressuring people outside of your religion to do it. The biggest reason we have so many divorces is because marriage is expected of people, yet few people are actually prepared for it... or even really want it.
Sex is...alright. I don't really see it as sacred or anything more than what it is...which is just sex. I enjoy sex with my partner, though I'd hazard a guess and say she is far more into the act than I am. Don't get me wrong, we enjoy our time together, but her sex drive far exceeds my own.
In my experience...
- Sex is a great thing, but more of a fun diversion than a goal in of itself.
- I don't want kids. Got a vasectomy. No complaints.
- You get laid more when you're not actively trying to get sex and are just happy in yourself.
- Sex is a lot more fun and rewarding in comfortable / loving / steady relationships. Flings are fun, but sorta "low investment - low return".
- Sex and Marriage are two entirely different lifestyle elements that should really be "divorced", when making informed, logical choices about your future.
- Geeks and artists are more fun and imaginative in the sack than "norms".
- Nice guys 'finish' last - the girls like that.
Be safe and have fun.
- Sex is a great thing, but more of a fun diversion than a goal in of itself.
- I don't want kids. Got a vasectomy. No complaints.
- You get laid more when you're not actively trying to get sex and are just happy in yourself.
- Sex is a lot more fun and rewarding in comfortable / loving / steady relationships. Flings are fun, but sorta "low investment - low return".
- Sex and Marriage are two entirely different lifestyle elements that should really be "divorced", when making informed, logical choices about your future.
- Geeks and artists are more fun and imaginative in the sack than "norms".
- Nice guys 'finish' last - the girls like that.
Be safe and have fun.
I think sex is sacred, yes. I want to save my first time for my wedding day, but we'll see if I have the commitment to see that through (at the very least I want to have it with only one person). I've thought a fair degree about this and honestly the way you put it, splitting your core, is more or less exactly what I think. that's not to say that I think anyone who has sex before marriage or with multiple partners is EVIL, but I personally feel that it should be thought of as special.Everin said:That's the topic. But what do you think about sex? Like, do you think it's sacred, do you think it's just an activity, do you think it's something that you should wait to do, or dive right in on the first date? Would you do it with a stranger, or only with someone you truely know? Just your thoughts on sex. And why?
I think that sex is something that should be saved til the wedding bed, personally. I think that it is the ultimate act of love and it bonds you with the person you share it with. It's like you take the core of yourself and place it in the other person's possesion and if you do it with lots of people regularly, you split that core and violate yourself. But thats just my opinion
EDIT: When I say sex, I mean making love as well, not defining between sex and love making.
Well it's a special sort of activity that needs two willing participants and alot of practice to be good, just like dancing let's say, but hell of alot more fun, no other fun activity in the world compares to it.
If people consider it their holy cow it's up to them, but as I don't share those religious views I probably couldn't be in a serious relationship with someone like that.
If people consider it their holy cow it's up to them, but as I don't share those religious views I probably couldn't be in a serious relationship with someone like that.
I like sex. I don't see it as sacred. I think it's different for different people and that it's fine that way.
If someone doesn't want to have sex before marriage, that's their right. It wouldn't work for me but that just means I'm not going to be an ideal partner for them or them for me.
If someone sees it as an activity like any other such as playing videogames, and does it with that frame of mine, it's fine by me too. Once again, that's not how it works for me, but that just means we won't be doing it together.
If someone isn't interested in sex at all, good for them. That doesn't affect me one way or the other.
The way it works for me, it's an expression of trust. It doesn't have to be romantic love although I prefer if it is, but it's making myself vulnerable to someone and showing them the real me that they don't usually get to see. It's emotional and there aren't that many people I could do it with, would want to do it with.
I think "making love" is a stupid way to phrase it. We don't call holding hands "making friendship" or whatever. I much prefer saying sex, and that doesn't mean there is no love involved. Similarly, the f word doesn't apply, but when it does it doesn't mean there isn't love involved. It's just more animal and less tender, but that can be a lot of fun too.
If someone doesn't want to have sex before marriage, that's their right. It wouldn't work for me but that just means I'm not going to be an ideal partner for them or them for me.
If someone sees it as an activity like any other such as playing videogames, and does it with that frame of mine, it's fine by me too. Once again, that's not how it works for me, but that just means we won't be doing it together.
If someone isn't interested in sex at all, good for them. That doesn't affect me one way or the other.
The way it works for me, it's an expression of trust. It doesn't have to be romantic love although I prefer if it is, but it's making myself vulnerable to someone and showing them the real me that they don't usually get to see. It's emotional and there aren't that many people I could do it with, would want to do it with.
I think "making love" is a stupid way to phrase it. We don't call holding hands "making friendship" or whatever. I much prefer saying sex, and that doesn't mean there is no love involved. Similarly, the f word doesn't apply, but when it does it doesn't mean there isn't love involved. It's just more animal and less tender, but that can be a lot of fun too.
