Sex
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I think I've made my stance on sexual relations and sex itself pretty clear on this site before, but for those of you who don't know, I suppose I can be considered a bit of a prude. In a personal sense, I don't want sex unless it's with a person whom I love. Any other type of sexual relation is completely meaningless to me. I feel that sex is best when you're in love. The idea of sleeping around to me honestly makes me sick. I don't like that idea and can't ever imagine myself doing it.
However, I don't feel the need to degrade people or belittle them for opposing beliefs. If someone feels differently about sex, I may disagree with it, but unless it's directly affecting me, I don't really care, in all honesty.
It's a lot like my views on religion and the like. I don't care really if you disagree with me unless you confront me or if your beliefs end up affecting me in a negative way. While I'm not religious in any way myself, I personally would want a monogamist relationship with someone I love who loves me back.
I understand that in nature, monogamy is rarely ever found. It goes against a lot of basic natural urges and desires for many people. That being said, I know what works best for me and I stick by it no matter what any right wing fuckhead wants to tell me or what many polygamists might say to me. The one and only type of relationship seems to work best for me.
Oh and as for where I learned about sex... nowhere, really. I study sociology and psychology so many of my sexual preferences and ideals come from my studies and from observing those in different relationships in my own way. That might be an extremely nerdy way of looking at things, but it's how I was raised. My parents never even mentioned sex in our household, so I kinda had to discover it for myself.
However, I don't feel the need to degrade people or belittle them for opposing beliefs. If someone feels differently about sex, I may disagree with it, but unless it's directly affecting me, I don't really care, in all honesty.
It's a lot like my views on religion and the like. I don't care really if you disagree with me unless you confront me or if your beliefs end up affecting me in a negative way. While I'm not religious in any way myself, I personally would want a monogamist relationship with someone I love who loves me back.
I understand that in nature, monogamy is rarely ever found. It goes against a lot of basic natural urges and desires for many people. That being said, I know what works best for me and I stick by it no matter what any right wing fuckhead wants to tell me or what many polygamists might say to me. The one and only type of relationship seems to work best for me.
Oh and as for where I learned about sex... nowhere, really. I study sociology and psychology so many of my sexual preferences and ideals come from my studies and from observing those in different relationships in my own way. That might be an extremely nerdy way of looking at things, but it's how I was raised. My parents never even mentioned sex in our household, so I kinda had to discover it for myself.
I have to say that I completely agree with you here on almost every front right down to the personal feelings regarding pornography. That overly dominate male figure... honestly disturbs me in a lot of ways and makes me quite uncomfortable. I would describe it as being extremely selfish in the relationship. Some might say "Oh it's just porn" but... lots of people think that it's real and that that's how relationships are supposed to be and they go by that as if it's a manual.Burck said:
As a girl with 4 sisters who ALL got knocked up in high school, i developed a strong belief on the subject.
the thought of sleeping around with as many people as possible makes me sick to my stomach.
While I don't feel someone should have to wait for marriage, I do feel you should be in love.
Not puppy love. Trusting, respectful, thoughtful "i could marry this man/woman one day" kind of love. I feel most people should be at least 17 or at least be mature enough to handle issues like babies, stds, cheating etc.. (I was 18, i am now 26 and have only slept with one man... he is now my husband)
I had to deal with all of my high school boyfriends cheating on me simply because they got sick of me "not putting out" but I stood by my beliefs. if he can't wait, hes not worth my time. no one should feel obligated to have sex before they feel ready. I felt that because there was NO WAY i was getting pregnant in high school and becoming a "mommy", then i felt logically i wasn't mature enough to start having sex.
to this day, litterally any time a woman my age or older hears that i have ONLY slept with my husband, they tell me that it's impressive and they wish they had done the same.. quickly followed by "dont you wish you could sleep with someone else?? how do you know it's any good??"
this annoys me greatly. i KNOW it's good because i "get where i need to go" EVERY time. he ensures it lol.. and why sleep around? isnt the point of sleeping around to try new things? well if i found someone i care about enough to stick with him and he's willing to try new things all the time, that's enough for me.
..and TRY NEW THINGS! I cannot stress this enough!
you need to try absolutely everything at least once.. if you decide you hate it, at least you can say you tried it. you'll be surprised by the new things you'll REALLY enjoy. (hell i taught my husband MANY things and he's 10 years older than i am.. he was with prudes before me i guess lol)
EDIT: jesus this is much longer than i thought it was lol..meh, you asked for a lengthy response i guess
the thought of sleeping around with as many people as possible makes me sick to my stomach.
While I don't feel someone should have to wait for marriage, I do feel you should be in love.
Not puppy love. Trusting, respectful, thoughtful "i could marry this man/woman one day" kind of love. I feel most people should be at least 17 or at least be mature enough to handle issues like babies, stds, cheating etc.. (I was 18, i am now 26 and have only slept with one man... he is now my husband)
I had to deal with all of my high school boyfriends cheating on me simply because they got sick of me "not putting out" but I stood by my beliefs. if he can't wait, hes not worth my time. no one should feel obligated to have sex before they feel ready. I felt that because there was NO WAY i was getting pregnant in high school and becoming a "mommy", then i felt logically i wasn't mature enough to start having sex.
to this day, litterally any time a woman my age or older hears that i have ONLY slept with my husband, they tell me that it's impressive and they wish they had done the same.. quickly followed by "dont you wish you could sleep with someone else?? how do you know it's any good??"
this annoys me greatly. i KNOW it's good because i "get where i need to go" EVERY time. he ensures it lol.. and why sleep around? isnt the point of sleeping around to try new things? well if i found someone i care about enough to stick with him and he's willing to try new things all the time, that's enough for me.
..and TRY NEW THINGS! I cannot stress this enough!
you need to try absolutely everything at least once.. if you decide you hate it, at least you can say you tried it. you'll be surprised by the new things you'll REALLY enjoy. (hell i taught my husband MANY things and he's 10 years older than i am.. he was with prudes before me i guess lol)EDIT: jesus this is much longer than i thought it was lol..meh, you asked for a lengthy response i guess
I'm 28 and still a virgin. I believe in waiting for marriage.
(My beliefs are my beliefs, and you can do what you want. In everything that I believe is wrong and you may not, I say this: if you're not hurting anyone, then any problems that may exist are between you and God, and it's not my concern, because there's really no way I could stop you from doing what you want to do.)
Also, I believe sex is highly over-rated. It's all about endorphins in your brain, and you can get those other ways, too.
(My beliefs are my beliefs, and you can do what you want. In everything that I believe is wrong and you may not, I say this: if you're not hurting anyone, then any problems that may exist are between you and God, and it's not my concern, because there's really no way I could stop you from doing what you want to do.)
Also, I believe sex is highly over-rated. It's all about endorphins in your brain, and you can get those other ways, too.
I'm far too late to this thread for anyone to still be reading posts, but here's the real truth about sex.
It's not "for" procreation. Not anymore. It's technically not even the only way to procreate these days. So that argument is archaic, and in my opinion, invalidated.
It's not meant to be had with only one person. Limiting yourself to a single partner will not make it special. It will make it boring. There's an extremely real chance you will be completely incompatible with your one and only partner. And besides, you need to be with enough people that you can learn the difference between having sex and making love. There IS a difference.
No, sex is about a moment. A moment in which two people, in spite of their best efforts, are completely honest with each other. Naked, exhausted, and exhilarated, there is no hiding yourself in that moment.
It's not "for" procreation. Not anymore. It's technically not even the only way to procreate these days. So that argument is archaic, and in my opinion, invalidated.
It's not meant to be had with only one person. Limiting yourself to a single partner will not make it special. It will make it boring. There's an extremely real chance you will be completely incompatible with your one and only partner. And besides, you need to be with enough people that you can learn the difference between having sex and making love. There IS a difference.
No, sex is about a moment. A moment in which two people, in spite of their best efforts, are completely honest with each other. Naked, exhausted, and exhilarated, there is no hiding yourself in that moment.
I find myself more on the "wait for love yada yada yada" side of things and w/e, but this:
Man, I gotta say I really like this answer. It's about what I would say, but better put.Mimsofthedawg said:
This one is good too hehe.Taipan700 said:
That was nicely put.thenumberthirteen said:
OT: Sex is a natural act. [HEADING=1]Nature does it so it's fucking awesome.[/HEADING]
I think that might be it... Thankyou. Yes, natural fallacy didn't seem to fit. Appeal to nature, that's it. Why is it being natural automatically a free pass? My position on sex is unchanged lol.ThrobbingEgo said:
I learned about sex from TV and teh internetz. It never even came up in school or my family, and I'm glad it didn't. I think sex has the best PR ever. That's pretty much it. People think waay too much about it, and have it waaaaay too rarely. I like the idea of only having sex with someone that you are in a relationship with, that's what I do, but then again, I'm 17. But if you just want to have sex, try going up to someone random in a bar and simply ask if they wanna f*ck. A lot of people are there for the same reason you are Don't ask me how I know that...
Don't ask me how I know that...
A) As I said, using a condom. You almost certaintly won't get AIDS (AIDS? Really? How many people do you know have AIDS?)Devin Parker said:
B) "Your argument also assumes that sex is best enjoyed outside of marriage"- No it doesn't. It implies that you're not letting yourself do something fun for possibly ever for no reason. Sex is neither better or worse inside or outside of marriage (or at least there's minimal difference), it mostly depends on who you're doing it with and how good at it they are.
That... was so poetic. I think i'm about to cry manly tears of awesome.saintchristopher said:
Anyway, for me, i'm not really so interested in the "sex for the animal desire / action" bit. Really, i'm only interested in real lovemaking. Sex with someone you care little about or do not know? I'd rather rub one out in five minutes flat and be done with it. Honestly, i'm just not interested nor bothered enough to go through all the effort of having to pick someone up just for the sake of having "the real thing".
Sex with someone you love, or even just care deeply for, however, is something very special and something that i hope to strive for - and that's all i really want from it.
I've had friends tell me they can't even define love. Sure they get a lot of sex, but they've never had any of the emotional bits in it and it's just this hollow experience where they try to hump anything with a pulse that has boobs. Honestly, i do pity them, in a way. Although maybe they pity me for not living their playboy lifestyle. I guess it's just a matter of opinion and choice.
Sex is fun, sex is good, not everybody does it, but everybody should!
My name is James, I am a 16 year old white male, and I lost my virginity at 14, to a beautiful young woman, who I am sadly no longer with.
I have had sex with 3 different people, and I only regret sleeping with one person, however, as she and I were not seeing each other, and she is my best friend, and now it's slightly awkward, but we've worked things out. When I did it with all three, however, it was very emotional, because as I said, I was seeing the other two people, and the third is my best friend, and I love her (In a "Best friends" way, but still).
I learned the basics of sex in School, but I was at a public school, so it was basically just "Put it in, take it out, put it in, take it out, put it in, take it out, shake it all about". After that, much fun was had doing the Hokey Cokey. This was all at about age 12.
I got there before most of the people who were my age that I knew, as no one really had the balls to go all the way in our area, as it was the same people who did Sex Education in every school, and they had drilled it into our minds that condoms were evil, we shouldn't have sex, and we should believe in God, and not have sex until we were married.
Then, at about age 15, everyone grew the fuck up, and started doing it.
I was still pretty pleased that I did it before everyone, though.
I have done some pretty strange things with people, as I have read "The Picture of Dorian Gray", and I couldn't resist Lord Henry's charm, and have almost the same outlook on pleasure as Dorian does after meeting Lord Henry. PM me if you'd like to now more about the things I've done, as creepy as that sounds!
Does that answer your question?
My name is James, I am a 16 year old white male, and I lost my virginity at 14, to a beautiful young woman, who I am sadly no longer with.
I have had sex with 3 different people, and I only regret sleeping with one person, however, as she and I were not seeing each other, and she is my best friend, and now it's slightly awkward, but we've worked things out. When I did it with all three, however, it was very emotional, because as I said, I was seeing the other two people, and the third is my best friend, and I love her (In a "Best friends" way, but still).
I learned the basics of sex in School, but I was at a public school, so it was basically just "Put it in, take it out, put it in, take it out, put it in, take it out, shake it all about". After that, much fun was had doing the Hokey Cokey. This was all at about age 12.
I got there before most of the people who were my age that I knew, as no one really had the balls to go all the way in our area, as it was the same people who did Sex Education in every school, and they had drilled it into our minds that condoms were evil, we shouldn't have sex, and we should believe in God, and not have sex until we were married.
Then, at about age 15, everyone grew the fuck up, and started doing it.
I was still pretty pleased that I did it before everyone, though.
I have done some pretty strange things with people, as I have read "The Picture of Dorian Gray", and I couldn't resist Lord Henry's charm, and have almost the same outlook on pleasure as Dorian does after meeting Lord Henry. PM me if you'd like to now more about the things I've done, as creepy as that sounds!
Does that answer your question?
Sex is overrated.
Sure, it can be fun. It can also be rubbish. I can enjoy it but I'm perfectly fine without it. Really nothing else I could say about it. /shrug
Sure, it can be fun. It can also be rubbish. I can enjoy it but I'm perfectly fine without it. Really nothing else I could say about it. /shrug
