Should I file a sexual harassment claim?

[Pojo-san]

Just say politely that her actions are making you feel uncomfortable, and that you would like for her to stop. If she persists remind her again that don't her to flirt with you. If does it again warn her that you will file a harassment claim against her. If she does it a third then file one.

 

[MrFluffy-X]

two words:

MAN UP!

 

[mikev7.0]

always talk first, it's not really harasment if you don't ask her to stop in my book unless it's like directly touching your genital area

Also the courts will view it this way as well. For your case to have any real traction you should talk to her at least twice and then if it continues have a talk with her superior then if she keeps it up you have a solid but difficult case. Difficult because you are a man and she hasn't made any actual sexual advances nor has she threatened your position. That's just the way it usually works.

 

[justnotcricket]

What do you mean *choose* to be offended? You either are or you aren't.

If you aren't offended, it sounds like you're bored as well and just looking for a fight.

If you are offended (which you would have every right to be, and I acknowledge this as the more likely option, I just took exception to your rather wilful wording), then I'd echo others here and talk with her first. Chances are she continues to do this simply because you haven't told her to stop. If you do, *politely*, then you might be able to solve your problems without getting into a big office scandal/meltdown.

I've had this sort of thing at work - it's unpleasant, but if you are honest and diplomatic, but firm, then you should be able to solve your problem.

If that doesn't work, *then* consider bringing a complaint.

 

[CrazySpainiard]

In the words of Souljah Boy: Supersoak that ho.

 

[mik1]

Consider dating her.

Things don't work have a healthy break up. Don't stay in touch though.

 

[Lizmichi]

First ask her to stop then if she doesn't say something to your boss about it.

 

[jaketheripper]

I started a part-time job at a state agency about four weeks ago, and there is a married woman in her early 50s who works there who is not my direct superior, but is still above me. She appears tired and sulky most of the time, but whenever she sees me she brightens up immediately. She acts flirty every time she talks to me and often gives me compliments on what I am wearing that day. She has grabbed my biceps at least twice before and asked whether I work out.

Yesterday I got a buzzcut, and today at work she unexpectedly came up from behind me when I was seated and ran her hands all over my head and commented how I look like the guy from Prison Break.

Now it's very possible she is being an innocent flirt because she is bored at work and means nothing by it, but I am going to choose to feel violated and offended instead. I am not a sexual object, and I demand to be taken seriously at my job!

Should I file a claim and potentially ruin this woman's long career and marriage?

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both

 

[kouriichi]

Why would you want to? I wish i had my boss grabbing my biceps and saying i look good.
At the moment, you have nothing definitive anyway. Theres nothing wrong with saying somebody looks like a moviestar.

Let it go for now. If she starts grabbing at your ass and talking about her strap-on, then you want to call the cops.

 

[Unesh52]

I call bullshit. There is no old lady. Or if there is, the OP isn't offended, or has already talked to the lady and she's stopped. The whole point of this thread was supposed to be to indirectly point out a sexist double standard.

...Well, my cards are on the table. Has anyone else suggested this? Has the OP commented on it?

EDIT: I just went back and reviewed some of the earlier pages more thoroughly. I'm not sure, because I didn't find a direct comment about it from the OP, but it seems there were quite a few who asserted this around page 2 and 3. The vast majority of posts take the him completely seriously though. In fact, most of them are either "Just ask her to stop," or "Get the hell over it you wimp." That's a little frustrating because not only is it obnoxiously apparent that other people have posted those responses, but I know the OP has responded to the first one at least. It's just bad forum etiquette. Some others have delved into the actual topic of sexist double standards with complete sincerity, and... well, I guess I just have to congratulate the OP for getting that to happen. Well done.

Also, there's an astonishing number of people who seem to envy the OP's story about being felt up by a soon-to-be-retiree. Not sure how I should take that.

 

[Mr. Doe]

Confront her on the issue first, if she doesnt stop then file one.

 

[Vykrel]

So don't become like those American douches who throw the toys out of the pram and bawl whenever they have difficulty in life.

why is it that someone always says something so fucking ignorant like this, for NO reason?

Because 9/10 its some lazy-arse American looking to make a quick buck. So before you rant and wail at the wording, take a moment to take history into account.

yes because only americans are greedy. there are people everywhere that try to sue just to make some cash.

and history doesnt have shit to do with it when all you do is stereotype.

 

[thom_cat_]

I call bullshit. There is no old lady. Or if there is, the OP isn't offended, or has already talked to the lady and she's stopped. The whole point of this thread was supposed to be to indirectly point out a sexist double standard.

...Well, my cards are on the table. Has anyone else suggested this? Has the OP commented on it?

YES, this has been suggested, this is true. He is pointing this out.
Everyone who continues to comment obviously has no clue that he's just trolling to make his stupid point.

WHY IS THIS TOPIC STILL HERE?

 

[William Ossiss]

america is sexist dude. get over it. (not to be mean or anything, but what im about to say is considered "rude" when its just the truth)

women get their way 95% of the time. do you know how many tickets are not given to women because they start bawling? a LOT. i'll tell you something, though. if i were a cop, id tell them to be quiet or they would get a "disturbing the peace" ticket as well. im equal to both genders. why should females get any kind of special treatment?

that being said... the "you cant hit a woman" law is as sexist as it comes. its still wrong as fuck, but the law is sexist.

 

[Unesh52]

Everyone who continues to comment obviously has no clue that he's just trolling to make his stupid point.

WHY IS THIS TOPIC STILL HERE?

I don't think it's trolling, and I don't think the point's stupid. I just think that it's stupid not to realize what he's doing. Well, maybe not stupid, but at least superficial or not very diligent.

Seriously, why are men held to a standard of "appropriate behavior" that is not applied equally to women? You can balk about it being ironic all damn day, but that doesn't make it right; no more than it would be right if a 12 year old abducted and raped a catholic priest.

...though I could still see that being funny in a certain context.

 

[spartan231490]

I started a part-time job at a state agency about four weeks ago, and there is a married woman in her early 50s who works there who is not my direct superior, but is still above me. She appears tired and sulky most of the time, but whenever she sees me she brightens up immediately. She acts flirty every time she talks to me and often gives me compliments on what I am wearing that day. She has grabbed my biceps at least twice before and asked whether I work out.

Yesterday I got a buzzcut, and today at work she unexpectedly came up from behind me when I was seated and ran her hands all over my head and commented how I look like the guy from Prison Break.

Now it's very possible she is being an innocent flirt because she is bored at work and means nothing by it, but I am going to choose to feel violated and offended instead. I am not a sexual object, and I demand to be taken seriously at my job!

Should I file a claim and potentially ruin this woman's long career and marriage?

I wouldn't. Some people are like that, they usually mean nothing by it. Don't see any reason to feel "violated and offended" myself. However, if it bothers you that much, tell her to stop. Very rarely will someone continue with that behavior if they know that it genuinely makes you feel that uncomfortable because either it's innocent, or even if it's not, they won't likely want to risk having a complaint of that nature filed against them.
That's my opinion, for whatever it's worth.