Should I file a sexual harassment claim?

[SteewpidZombie]

1: Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable
2: If she persists, talk to management
3: If it still persists, then inform her that you may seek to file a sexual harassment claim
4: File that damn claim if she won't leave you alone

or

5: If you have some balls, MAN UP and ignore her. You could either sit through a court hearing or endure having to file paperwork and dealing with the ol'gal 24/7 on a spiteful level, or you could just ignore her and take pride that chicks regardless of age are swooning for you.

 

[Alordo]

Brawndo, my advice to you is this. Be very, very careful about this. If she feels spurned, you may find yourself in a Michael Douglas position ala "Disclosure". She may claim YOU'VE been harassing her.

I lost two jobs from false claims. One because I was in a position of authority and had to discipline an employee, revenge tactic, and the other because her boyfriend hated me and my family, revenge tactic. Never was I told anyone was uncomfortable or told to stop. I never touched any of them in a sexual manner of any sort. If any physical contact was made, a hug, I would ask permission before I did it. This is the problem with sexual harassment laws. A woman makes the claim against a male, he loses his job whether it's true or not. A man makes the claim, well you get responses like the quotes below. Got news for you all. No means no despite what sex you are.

Hell no you big pussy, you don't deserve to be taken seriously if you make such a big deal about this. Sorry for the name calling, but filing sexual harassment is the last thing you do. You'll be making an extreme fool out of yourself and her. First ask her to stop yourself and if that doesn't work even after months and months of trying then threaten with sexual harassment and then go for sexual harassment.

Because, as a male, you aren't supposed to be such a whiney tit.

If you have some balls, MAN UP and ignore her. You could either sit through a court hearing or endure having to file paperwork and dealing with the ol'gal 24/7 on a spiteful level, or you could just ignore her and take pride that chicks regardless of age are swooning for you.

 

[Brawndo]

And now...REVERSE THE ROLLS!

Girl: I man touched my hair in work today while Iw asn't expecting it and said I was attractive should I file a sexual harassment suit?

Everyone here: HANG HIM!, BURN HIM! How dare he touch you what a dirt bag!.

Don't deny it.

Obviously this hypothetical girl should just deal with it. It's not a big deal.

lololol

 

[rutger5000]

Brawndo, my advice to you is this. Be very, very careful about this. If she feels spurned, you may find yourself in a Michael Douglas position ala "Disclosure". She may claim YOU'VE been harassing her.

I lost two jobs from false claims. One because I was in a position of authority and had to discipline an employee, revenge tactic, and the other because her boyfriend hated me and my family, revenge tactic. Never was I told anyone was uncomfortable or told to stop. I never touched any of them in a sexual manner of any sort. If any physical contact was made, a hug, I would ask permission before I did it. This is the problem with sexual harassment laws. A woman makes the claim against a male, he loses his job whether it's true or not. A man makes the claim, well you get responses like the quotes below. Got news for you all. No means no despite what sex you are.

Hell no you big BLEEP, you don't deserve to be taken seriously if you make such a big deal about this. Sorry for the name calling, but filing sexual harassment is the last thing you do. You'll be making an extreme fool out of yourself and her. First ask her to stop yourself and if that doesn't work even after months and months of trying then threaten with sexual harassment and then go for sexual harassment.
I won't use namecalling anymore, but I do want you to know that you deserve very little to almost no respect whatsoever for even suggesting this lowest possible way to solve the 'problem' for the most pathetic reasons imaginionable.

Because, as a male, you aren't supposed to be such a whiney tit.

If you have some balls, MAN UP and ignore her. You could either sit through a court hearing or endure having to file paperwork and dealing with the ol'gal 24/7 on a spiteful level, or you could just ignore her and take pride that chicks regardless of age are swooning for you.

I'm not calling him a big BEEP because he is male, if he had been female I would have called him a pussy still. This is just innocent playing, it's not going to escalate, there is no real chance of rape. In these kind of situations you should try to resolve the matter yourself first, and not go to authorizes to ruin someones live.
I won't use namecalling anymore, but I do want you to know that you deserve very little to almost no respect whatsoever for even suggesting this lowest possible way to solve the 'problem' for the most pathetic reasons imaginionable.

 

[Del-Toro]

Choosing to feel offended and violated is one of those choices that can only lead to 2 things:

1. Trouble
2. Me to the conclusion that you're a whiny, hypersensitive git if you aren't kidding. I really hope you are.

As has been stated and stated again, tell her to back off, using your words before you use the legal system, then take further action if the harassment continues or escalates as explained by Realitycrash.

 

[Bobbity]

There seems to be a double standard running pretty strongly in this thread. A lot of people are saying that it's not a big deal, but if a woman were in your position, then most people would be on your side. Tell the lady to stop, and make sure she knows you're serious.

If she doesn't stop, then perhaps you can take other steps. You Americans seem to throw lawsuits around an awful lot, so try dealing with the management first, if she doesn't let up. Chances are though, she will stop when you ask her to.

 

[DuttyDawn]

If you feel comfortable with it, confront her and tell her how you don't like it. Document the time, date and her reaction as well as what you said and how you said it. You should also keep track of everything she has done in the past, dates and incidents. If she does anything after that which you mentioned you do not like, immediately go to a supervisor. If you let it continue without voicing your discomfort, it will continue.

If you don't feel comfortable speaking with her (as is your choice) you should speak with a supervisor. Explain to them that it makes you uncomfortable to confront her, and it will be their job to help you since you should not be subjected to a hostile work environment. If nothing is done, or she continues, then you can sue. But you need to take some kind of action first.

I previously worked at a job where the majority of workers were women. Several of them felt sexually harassed by the same man, but not a single one of them ever told a higher up. They only spoke to one another. By law, you don't have to confront her. But if you do nothing you have no legal leg to stand on.

 

[Caligulove]

I would simply talk to her about it, or mention how you think it was inappropriate before you and get the HR people or management involved.

 

[Jaime_Wolf]

I'm going to assume that this is just trolling given the bit about ruining her life and marriage.

That said, it's not even good trolling. You look like you're trying to make a point about frivolous sexual harassment claims, but the story is unreasoanble to a degree that's almost unimaginable. You want to file a claim without even talking to her once? All she did was touch your hair and flirt a little (and, again, you didn't say anything?)? If you went to HR to file such a claim, I'm pretty sure they'd mock you behind your back and, if anything, she'd simply be told to stop. It certainly wouldn't ruin her career.

On a more personal note, that sounds like a fun work environment. How does someone showing affection toward you equate to not taking you seriously professionally? It sounds like her affection has nothing to do with your professional relationship whatsoever.

 

[Haydyn]

Sue her granny panties off.

 

[Ravison]

SUE FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER!

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Ask her to stop first. After that, ask again. The third time, go to whoever is above her and tell him/her. If that doesn't work, sexual-harassment claim will.

this person wins the thread
common sense owns the workplace.

Yep. This is exactly the order they told us to do things in the business classes I've taken. Applies to any perceived "wrongdoing" at a company.

 

[Darius Brogan]

LISTEN, why should I have to confront her and talk about it first? It's not fair that I get put in such a embarrassing and awkward situation, because I have done nothing wrong.

I mean, a family friend in his 60s was fired from his six-figure job for patting a female male clerk on the thigh, and she never asked him to stop. Why should I, as a male, have to act differently?

You don't have to act differently 'as a male' you have to act differently as a human being.
Sure, some people overreact to situations like that, and it usually ends up ruining someone else' life. But apparently most of the population of the world doesn't care about little details like 'the other party was human too' and 'all the money I pulled out of them because I was "uncomfortable" has left them completely broke'
Unless you're seriously joking, open your goddamn mouth and ask her to stop, if that doesn't work TELL her to stop, after that, file a complaint.
Being methodical never hurt anyone. Neither did common sense.

Also, there's a HUGE difference between having your head rubbed and Biceps 'fondled', and patting someone on the thigh. Last I checked, the thigh was right next to another fairly important part of the human anatomy, while the Biceps and Head are not.

 

[Firia]

Ask her to stop first. After that, ask again. The third time, go to whoever is above her and tell him/her. If that doesn't work, sexual-harassment claim will.

This is the irrefutable best answer that could be given. All other answers are not good enough.

She's 50, and she's tired. Cut her some slack by asking her to ease back a little. Something as inoccuous as "actually being touched is really uncomfortable" could easily do the trick. If it keeps up, be more direct. If it pursists to a 3rd instance, you go to her superior. If after all that, it won't stop, then file.

 

[Xanian]

Ask her to stop after you tell your superiors what is going on. If you tell your superiors you are going to try talking to her about it and that you feel uncomfortable about these displays of affection, then the superiors can't later just accept her testimony if she decides to reverse it on you in a he-said she-said mess. I had a friend get fired because he tried talking to the girl about it, and she just reversed it on him. He got a better job afterward, but it still stings. Don't present it to your superiors as a terrible threat. Just explain that you're uncomfortable with her behavior, but would like to talk to her first and don't feel that disciplinary action is necessary until you talk to her. Plus it will give you fodder if the behavior continues later.

Remember. you can't make a claim without evidence, and a lot of this might boil down to who has the best social connections and the most people willing to back them. No reason to get her fired, and no reason to file a formal complaint until you've expressed your issues to her.

 

[internetzealot1]

No. Because its impossible for a man to win in any kind of sexual-harassment suit, whether he be the accuser or the accused.

 

[darkstarangel]

Id suggest just talking to her on a personal level. She may be having problems in her career & marriage & might be just being friendly (Some women are naturally touchy-feely) or she might have been around guys like that & has developed a misconception that every guy likes that.

Or she might just want a friend & you seem like a friendly easily approachable sort of guy. Plus communication goes both ways & the more she understands how you are she might show some respect to you in that area of your job.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

You can, but the real question is, if you do, will our justice system take it seriously? I think not.

 

[lvl9000_woot]

I'd say tell her to stop first, before you file a complaint. If she doesn't stop, then file the complaint.

I'd ask for a raise

....or threaten to tell her husband.