Slowclap awards for genuine stupidity

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La Barata

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Apr 13, 2010
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GrimHeaper said:
EightGaugeHippo said:
Me and my friend where talking about Nazis and Hitler back in High school.
This girl who isn't actually that dumb, asked us "What's Hitler?"
That's Germany's response. "What's Hitler?"
Lets see there was that time someone asked me what omnipotence was.
EVERYONE WAS ON VACATION.
WE WERE INVITED.
PUNCH WAS SERVED.
CHECK WITH POLAND.
 

Frostbite3789

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Mr Pantomime said:
the fact that theyre pretty old.
The difference here being I had three friends who got 360's that Red Ringed within the first month of being bought. So...that really isn't hypocrisy on your friends part at all. The RROD was a far greater problem than the YLOD.

*slow clap*
 

dslatch

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Apr 15, 2009
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Girl in my science class asked if humans have to have oxygen to live, you could hear a pin drop then me laughing teacher just stared. advanced science class

Same girl also asked if you would need a flashlight in space, same reactions.

We have set up a facebook page about the stupid shit she says, it is updated at least once per day.
 

Nickompoop

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A kid in my Computer Applications class back in 7th grade asked, "How do you close Word?" "Hit the X." "Where's that?"

I once dated a girl who thought Africa was a country...
 

Krion_Vark

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The Unworthy Gentleman said:
Well considering the equation doesn't have an answer to it you can't find an answer to it.

OT: I will take this off of my facebook quotes from a convo i had with a friend:

(her) simplyblink99 (9:03:26 PM): idk how i did that
(Me) JiangWei334 (9:03:42 PM): your 80% blonde
simplyblink99 (9:03:58 PM): 10% redhead woooo
JiangWei334 (9:04:12 PM): then whats the other 10%?
simplyblink99 (9:04:16 PM): oh shit


*Edit*
Then there's this one that I just find hilarious:

Me do they actually hit you?
Nicole this one did
Me o_O
Nicole ok i did bite him first"
 

zehydra

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The Unworthy Gentleman said:
Me and a friend were comparing work in a math class one day. I noticed he had a different answer for the what x may be in the equation:

x[sup]3[/sup] + 8x[sup]2[/sup] + 3x - 108

He had -3, -4 and -9 while it was supposed to be -3, 4 and -9. Here came the slow clap.

Oh wait, that was a genuine mistake, not just a guy being stupid. In this thread, you will find an abundance of genuine mistakes, rather than genuine stupidity.

OT: I rarely find anything of actual stupidity. When I do, I correct the mistake. Usually, stupidity isn't genuine and is actually emphasized to get attention, however.

NOTE: You will find that the answers to the equation are wrong. I must have made a mistake, I'm not stupid.
or ignorant/ignorance.

If someone doesn't know that something's the case, it's not that they're stupid. They're stupid if they can't figure something out.
 

AstylahAthrys

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"They totally released Bioshock on the original Xbox, it wasn't made for the 360."

Oh, and this gem really takes the cake:

Girl: Why is the forehead called the forehead?
Teacher: *sarcastically* Well, back in the times of the Ancient Greeks there was a nuclear disaster that caused some of the people to have four heads, so they ended up referring to the heads as foreheads from that.
Girl: Ohhhh, okay, that makes sense!
 

That One Six

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KingofallCosmos said:
CptRumGuy said:
Guy walks into a ham store. Looks around for a minute, then walks up to the counter and asks,

"Do y'all sell ham here?"
That's actually pretty fun to do. I remember some belgian comedian doing things like that to confuse people:

(at bakery)

"My my, baker, lot of bread today!"
"Well, yes, it's a bakery..."
"That's a good one!"
"..."

Customer: Good Morning.

Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!

Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.

Owner: What can I do for you, Sir?

Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through Rogue Herrys by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.

Owner: Peckish, sir?

Customer: Esuriant.

Owner: Eh?

Customer: 'Ee, ah wor 'ungry-loike!

Owner: Ah, hungry!

Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!

Owner: Come again?

Customer: I want to buy some cheese.

Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!

Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

Owner: Sorry?

Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!

Owner: So he can go on playing, can he?

Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.

Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?

Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.

Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.

Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.

Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.

Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?

Owner: Sorry, sir.

Customer: Red Windsor?

Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

Customer: Ah. Stilton?

Owner: Sorry.

Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere?

Owner: No.

Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.

Owner: No.

Customer: Lipta?

Owner: No.

Customer: Lancashire?

Owner: No.

Customer: White Stilton?

Owner: No.

Customer: Danish Brew?

Owner: No.

Customer: Double Goucester?

Owner: (pause) No.

Customer: Cheshire?

Owner: No.

Customer: Dorset Bluveny?

Owner: No.

Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?

Owner: No.

Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?

Owner: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.

Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.

Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...

Customer: Oh, I like it runny.

Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.

Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!

Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.

Customer: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

Owner: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause)

Customer: What now?

Owner: The cat's eaten it.

Customer: (pause) Has he.

Owner: She, sir.

Customer: (pause) Gouda?

Owner: No.

Customer: Edam?

Owner: No.

Customer: Case Ness?

Owner: No.

Customer: Smoked Austrian?

Owner: No.

Customer: Japanese Sage Darby?

Owner: No, sir.

Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?

Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--

Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

Owner: Fair enough.

Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.

Owner: Yes?

Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!

Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.

Customer: (pause) Greek Feta?

Owner: Uh, not as such.

Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?

Owner: No.

Customer: Parmesan,

Owner: No.

Customer: Mozarella,

Owner: No.

Customer: Paper Cramer,

Owner: No.

Customer: Danish Bimbo,

Owner: No.

Customer: Czech sheep's milk,

Owner: No.

Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

Owner: Not *today*, sir, no.

Customer: (pause) Aah, how about Cheddar?

Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.

Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular cheese in the world!

Owner: Not 'round here, sir.

Customer: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?

Owner: 'Illchester, sir.

Customer: IS it.

Owner: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.

Customer: Is it.

Owner: It's our number one best seller, sir!

Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh?

Owner: Right, sir.

Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.

Owner: I'll have a look, sir........nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?

Owner: Finest in the district!

Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

Owner: Well, it's so clean, sir!

Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....

Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.

Customer: Would it be worth it?

Owner: Could be....

Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!

Owner: Told you sir....

Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?

Owner: No.

Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:

Owner: Yessir?

Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.

Owner: Yes, sir.

Customer: Really?

(pause)

Owner: No. Not really, sir.

Customer: You haven't.

Owner: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.

Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.

Owner: Right-Oh, sir.

(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner)

Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.

OT - There was a woman who had her car painted to endorse the whole "May 21st Apocalypse" thing. I wish I had seen the look on her face the next Monday, when she went into work. That is assuming she didn't drink the Kool Aid.
 

Seanfall

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May 3, 2011
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Standing in line at a sub shop a girl walks up to the counter.

Owner: "Hello can I help you?"
Girl: "You have cream of broccoli soup right?"
Owner: "yes."
Girl: "Is it creamy?"
Me: *runs out the door cause he's laughing to hard*
 

Krion_Vark

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Tdc2182 said:
shadyh8er said:
Tdc2182 said:
I thought that over the counter medicine was the prescription drugs in the pharmacy.
They're not?!
Apparently not.

Glad I'm not the only one who thought that though.
Over the counter little scrap of paper with writing you cannot decipher not required.

Perscription little scrap of paper with writing you cannot decipher required.

Or at least that is what I THINK the difference is.
 

TriGGeR_HaPPy

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May 22, 2008
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Purple Shrimp said:
Krion_Vark said:
The Unworthy Gentleman said:
Well considering the equation doesn't have an answer to it you can't find an answer to it.
x = 3 is the solution
Actually, you simply can't get a solution to it.
"x3 + 8x2 + 3x - 108" isn't an equation you can solve, you need to add "= 0" or "= *something else*" to the end of it.
I believe that's what Krion was saying, at least...
 

Purple Shrimp

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TriGGeR_HaPPy said:
Purple Shrimp said:
Krion_Vark said:
The Unworthy Gentleman said:
Well considering the equation doesn't have an answer to it you can't find an answer to it.
x = 3 is the solution
Actually, you simply can't get a solution to it.
"x3 + 8x2 + 3x - 108" isn't an equation you can solve, you need to add "= 0" or "= *something else*" to the end of it.
I believe that's what Krion was saying, at least...
it's pretty clear that it was meant to be = 0, but ok fair enough
 

TriGGeR_HaPPy

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May 22, 2008
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Purple Shrimp said:
TriGGeR_HaPPy said:
Purple Shrimp said:
Krion_Vark said:
The Unworthy Gentleman said:
Well considering the equation doesn't have an answer to it you can't find an answer to it.
x = 3 is the solution
Actually, you simply can't get a solution to it.
"x3 + 8x2 + 3x - 108" isn't an equation you can solve, you need to add "= 0" or "= *something else*" to the end of it.
I believe that's what Krion was saying, at least...
it's pretty clear that it was meant to be = 0, but ok fair enough
Haha, yea. Mathematical semantics, I know. Just thought I'd point it out. ^_^
 

th155

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Mar 4, 2011
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TriGGeR_HaPPy said:
Purple Shrimp said:
Krion_Vark said:
The Unworthy Gentleman said:
Well considering the equation doesn't have an answer to it you can't find an answer to it.
x = 3 is the solution
Actually, you simply can't get a solution to it.
"x3 + 8x2 + 3x - 108" isn't an equation you can solve, you need to add "= 0" or "= *something else*" to the end of it.
I believe that's what Krion was saying, at least...
I think that the = 0 was implied. I mean, have you ever seen any algebra question (outside expanding/simplifying ones) that doesn't have a = 0 on the end?
 

zombiejoe

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Sep 2, 2009
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Trezu said:
So Many to Choose from lets see

when i worked at KFC

[start slow clap]

Customer: Can i have a Big Mac
me: Sorry Sir we do not sell 'Big Mac's'
Customer: why not?
me: um, because we don't sell Big Mac its a McDonald's food item
Customer: Well what about the fridge?
me: um, Excuse me?
Customer: the fridge with the drinks in it. how much for the Fridge?
Me 'We Don't Sell Fridges.
Customer: Then why have it out the front?
This customer is just pure awesome.

lol, I wounder if he/she was kidding or not.
 

Mr Pantomime

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Jul 10, 2010
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Frostbite3789 said:
Mr Pantomime said:
the fact that theyre pretty old.
The difference here being I had three friends who got 360's that Red Ringed within the first month of being bought. So...that really isn't hypocrisy on your friends part at all. The RROD was a far greater problem than the YLOD.

*slow clap*
I...never said it wasnt. This isnt an arguement over which console is better, or which console had the worst failure rate. In fact, its really not an arguement at all. It would be absurd of me to say that the Red Ring of Death wasnt a huge problem with the original 360 series. I just think its a bit narrow-minded to go on about the failure rate of one console that youve never owned or had any real experiance with as a reason the condemn it as crap, while ignoring that the other console you own has failed twice.

But then, this was more of a personal issue, rather than an opinion of the Xbox 360 and PS3 as a whole. But it seems some people will take any oppurtunity to start a ridiculous console war because they must tell everyone how wrong they are.
 

Chatato

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Dec 19, 2010
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So many... let start with one that happened to me.
One of my friends was in science class one day sitting at the very back and he couldn't read the teachers writing from there so instead of putting Di-Hydrogen Oxide he put wait for... Dirty Dragon-Oxide, this same friend also stated one day I shit you not "I give blow-jobs to women" yeah me and my friends have literally a page full of stupid crap he has said.
One day in our class we were talking about economics and the topic somehow got onto cows and one kid in the class said "Can you milk a bull" half of the class started laughing.
For the last one I was in class one day and a kid asked me what the answer to one question was seeing as I'm one of the supposedly "Smart" kids I was sick of this kid so I responded with "Seven"... He believed me... we were in science [Start Slow Clap].
Edit: Just remembered one.
One day after class a kid came up to me while i was getting stuff out of my locker and said "You have a big nose... Are you a Jew?" not racist and stereotypical at all and no I am not jewish.
 

TriGGeR_HaPPy

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May 22, 2008
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th155 said:
TriGGeR_HaPPy said:
Purple Shrimp said:
Krion_Vark said:
The Unworthy Gentleman said:
Well considering the equation doesn't have an answer to it you can't find an answer to it.
x = 3 is the solution
Actually, you simply can't get a solution to it.
"x3 + 8x2 + 3x - 108" isn't an equation you can solve, you need to add "= 0" or "= *something else*" to the end of it.
I believe that's what Krion was saying, at least...
I think that the = 0 was implied. I mean, have you ever seen any algebra question (outside expanding/simplifying ones) that doesn't have a = 0 on the end?
Well... Yes. Quite a lot.
Even just at Year 12 advanced maths level, the ones that were "= 0" at the end weren't even the majority. Others were completely different.
Even if I don't go into the year 12 algebra, I wouldn't be surprised to see that the equation was actually:
x3 + 8x2 + 3x - 108 = x3 + 7x2 + 7x - 112
(in which x = 2 for this equation)
or something like that. It's not that much harder of an equation by any means (it gets rid of the x3, so you could argue that it's actually easier in a way), I'm just pointing out that normally you can't just assume "= 0" is the right hand side.

However, yes. Through how he worded the post and equation, you could assume that the right hand side is "= 0". As you'll see in one of my previous posts here, I acknowledged that fact, but just thought I'd point it out. ^_^