Slowclap awards for genuine stupidity

[MrGameluvr92]

This thread is pure gold XD

OT: My older brother once got together with some friends of his after a 4th of July one year and they were shooting off some leftover bottle rockets. Here is what was around my house at that time: there was a road to the left and a rocky wasteland that stretched as far as the eye can see and to the right of the house was a huge wheat field.

Guess where he shot them and guess what caught on fire.

 

[The_Evermind]

Girl in my science class asked if humans have to have oxygen to live, you could hear a pin drop then me laughing teacher just stared. advanced science class

Same girl also asked if you would need a flashlight in space, same reactions.

We have set up a facebook page about the stupid shit she says, it is updated at least once per day.

The flashlight in space one actually makes sense seeing as at least one astronaut has commented on how space is in fact very dark, it is because without air molecules to deflect off of there is very little diffusion of light making anything that isn't directly lighted be much darker than it would be in a similar but on earth setting. (This doesn't apply to the moon as there is enough reflection of sunlight there to see things that go into shadow)

Also I would like to say that this thread is hilarious, not for the stupidity (or ignorance as some would have it) but for the reactions of my fellow escapists.

OT: When asked by a teacher for an example of a liquid that mixed well with oil one girl almost immediately piped up with fire . . . as a liquid . . . in a high level class.

 

[The Wooster]

A quote from my social studies class back in college.

"Why don't Africans just drink the sea?"

*clutches head*

 

[JohnDoey]

More than half the people I tell I am Jewish in ethnicity think I believe in Judaism. When I correct them, they say I'm not Jewish then. *slow clap*

This happens to me every time I mention I am Jewish.

 

[katboii]

Once on a school trip to Berlin me and a friend went into a KFC and did (for fun) order a whopper, they did not know what it was.

 

[barbzilla]

not particually stupid (my brother is a pretty smart guy) but he was bored one day and decided he could make a perpetual motion machine using a tube and some marbles

you know, never mind the geniuses and physisists that spend alot of time working this out

it didnt work out, just like when he realised a car powered by magnets also wouldnt work

I don't think I would face palm over this exactly. I have to give him some credit for actually trying despite the lack of information. A bit of research probably wouldn't have hurt though.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I dont know if anyone's ever said something of a slow clap award moment, but someone almost won a darwin award involving me.

...

Actually, no, I do remember something. Kids were talking about this rather dumb girl that had the reputation for being a slut (which was she, it was rather public knowledge), when the girl in question stood up and shouted "Hey just go I blew three guys today in the bathroom, and those 15 guys last week, doesnt men I'm a slut!"

*slow clap* ooh good show madam, way to prove us wrong.

 

[TriGGeR_HaPPy]

I dont know if anyone's ever said something of a slow clap award moment, but someone almost won a darwin award involving me.

...

Actually, no, I do remember something. Kids were talking about this rather dumb girl that had the reputation for being a slut (which was she, it was rather public knowledge), when the girl in question stood up and shouted "Hey just go I blew three guys today in the bathroom, and those 15 guys last week, doesnt men I'm a slut!"

*slow clap* ooh good show madam, way to prove us wrong.

Fif-... Fifteen guys last week?!
I mean... What?

(Also, I'm quite curious about what happened with that person almost winning the darwin award.)

 

[Malikaw]

I was once playing some basketball outside my school with my friend and he dunked it and said "3 POINTS YEAH!" I proceeded to talk to him about it and it turns out he thought dunking it gave you 3 points -_-, but that's not all some big ass black guys overheard our conversation (idk wtf they were doing outside a school in my neighborhood, probably just looking for trouble?) and he was just plain insulted that my friend could disrespect his favorite game and be such and idiot. They decide to jump us. 2 of em start beating up my friend and I try to defend myself against a huge ass dude he starts beating the hell out of me but then I remember not to fight back so I can say he assaulted me in court if I pressed charges, but the guy just keeps beating the shit out of me so I'm like, eh what could 1 little fight do? So I punched the guy in the face and ran home. I barely got into the door when my mom saw my black eye and she got PISSED, I told her the story and she said I needed to stay away from stupid friends like that so she decided to call my god damn aunt and ask if I could live over there for a while. Later that evening she called a cab and sent me on my way to Bel-Air.


All because my friend said something retarded, I slowclapped all the way to Bel-air in my taxi.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I dont know if anyone's ever said something of a slow clap award moment, but someone almost won a darwin award involving me.

...

Actually, no, I do remember something. Kids were talking about this rather dumb girl that had the reputation for being a slut (which was she, it was rather public knowledge), when the girl in question stood up and shouted "Hey just go I blew three guys today in the bathroom, and those 15 guys last week, doesnt men I'm a slut!"

*slow clap* ooh good show madam, way to prove us wrong.

Fif-... Fifteen guys last week?!
I mean... What?

(Also, I'm quite curious about what happened with that person almost winning the darwin award. )

I told you she was a slut. Her record is 32 in a week, and thats not counting the guys she screwed (another 17 total).

As for the darwin, well, that more is just knowing me personally. But the guy was lucky to live after what he tried to do to me and the girl I was with.

 

[Thamous]

Mine happened in my history class. It went like this.

Girl: I'm not going to be here tomorrow.
Teacher: Why not?
Girl: I'm getting my gall bladder removed.
Stupid Girl: But then how will you have babies?

Luckily that teacher is making a book of stupid things people have said in his class. I can't wait for him to publish it, I would so buy a copy.

A teacher of mine is doing the exact same thing. He's getting it published soon.

 

[TriGGeR_HaPPy]

I dont know if anyone's ever said something of a slow clap award moment, but someone almost won a darwin award involving me.

...

Actually, no, I do remember something. Kids were talking about this rather dumb girl that had the reputation for being a slut (which was she, it was rather public knowledge), when the girl in question stood up and shouted "Hey just go I blew three guys today in the bathroom, and those 15 guys last week, doesnt men I'm a slut!"

*slow clap* ooh good show madam, way to prove us wrong.

Fif-... Fifteen guys last week?!
I mean... What?

(Also, I'm quite curious about what happened with that person almost winning the darwin award.)

I told you she was a slut. Her record is 32 in a week, and thats not counting the guys she screwed (another 17 total).

As for the darwin, well, that more is just knowing me personally. But the guy was lucky to live after what he tried to do to me and the girl I was with.

Well, what people do with their body is their own business, obviously. And I'm not going to judge.
But 32 in a week is rather incredible (in it's actual definition, i.e. "hard to believe"). Like... Yeah. Wow.

And, rightio. I won't ask anymore questions about the darwin award in your case, then.

 

[emeraldrafael]

snip

eh, not really. Thats what, a little more then 6 a day? She can do seven a day since each is quick, so yeah. Not that I ever had to use her services, but yeah. Word gets around.

Oka then.

 

[Alyssacubi]

Me and my partner were outside a pub a couple of weeks ago, and a few...maybe twenty year olds approach us.

"You have boobs!"

He repeated this line about eight times before waltzing off and piling into a car, drunk, might I add.

I wouldn't doubt for a second that's all he could've mustered should he have been sober, however.

 

[whtkid6969]

Me talking to friend: "Yea, so i went to get my fishing license yesterday. There expensive as hell."
Interrupting girl: "Wait, you need a license to own fish?"
Me: "...fail"

 

[chukrum47]

Okay, so, during the second semester of my sophomore year in high school, I was sitting in an Honors Chemistry class (in a fairly academically respected school, mind you) when one of the girls in my class raises her hand and, with complete sincerity, asks, "Wait...are the noble gasses solids?"

I had never heard my class so quiet before. Even our teacher didn't have a response, before what I can only assume making a silent decision to pretend that question hadn't been asked, and went back to teaching.

 

[GrimHeaper]

Me and my friend where talking about Nazis and Hitler back in High school.
This girl who isn't actually that dumb, asked us "What's Hitler?"

That's Germany's response. "What's Hitler?"
Lets see there was that time someone asked me what omnipotence was.

Usually forgive situations like that because everyone seems to have some weird glaring gap in their knowledge. Just being uninformed rather than stupid.

I don't forgive it when they don't understand even after I explain it for 45 mins, someone that is 17 should know what it is.

Being Uninformed: Not knowing due to lack of relevant information.

Stupidity: Not being able to understand even with all relevant information.

So if youre explaining it for 45 minutes, telling them what they need to know, and they still dont understand it, yeah, theyre probably stupid. If they dont know, it might be a simple gap in their knowledge. Omnipotence isnt generally ued in everyday discussion. Since youre obviously smarter than them, maybe you should educate them a little.

I just find I can't really relate to the person anyway I knew what it meant at the age of 11 and understood.
The bible and many religions relate to the word and my entire philosophy class was quite when asked what it was.... shouldn't this be common knowledge?
Even the legend of zelda talks about it constantly.
I actually have a hard time starting conversation in RL just because they don't know what I'm talking about most of the time and most people still don't understand with explanation.

 

[Mr Pantomime]

Me and my friend where talking about Nazis and Hitler back in High school.
This girl who isn't actually that dumb, asked us "What's Hitler?"

That's Germany's response. "What's Hitler?"
Lets see there was that time someone asked me what omnipotence was.

Usually forgive situations like that because everyone seems to have some weird glaring gap in their knowledge. Just being uninformed rather than stupid.

I don't forgive it when they don't understand even after I explain it for 45 mins, someone that is 17 should know what it is.

Being Uninformed: Not knowing due to lack of relevant information.

Stupidity: Not being able to understand even with all relevant information.

So if youre explaining it for 45 minutes, telling them what they need to know, and they still dont understand it, yeah, theyre probably stupid. If they dont know, it might be a simple gap in their knowledge. Omnipotence isnt generally ued in everyday discussion. Since youre obviously smarter than them, maybe you should educate them a little.

I just find I can't really relate to the person anyway I knew what it meant at the age of 11 and understood.
The bible and many religions relate to the word and my entire philosophy class was quiet when asked what it was.... shouldn't this be common knowledge?
Even the legend of zelda talks about it constantly.
I actually have a hard time starting conversation in RL just because they don't know what I'm talking about most of the time and most people still don't understand with explanation.

Id agree that the meaning of omnipotence should be common knowledge. Im sure that one or two people out of 100 may not know what it is, but an entire philosopy class should be able to take a crack at it. In fact, im surprised anyone taking philosophy doesnt know what it is.

I can understand what your saying about conversations too. When youre talking to someone, its implied they know certain things. While I dont mind telling them a thing or two they might not know (as people tend to return the favour), it does annoy me when they decide they dont want to know what youre talking about, and would rather remain ignorant for the sake of convenience. To say they dont understand implies them giving it a shot.