So I had my heart ripped out...

[Danzaivar]

Learn an instrument. Get a pet. Dye your hair, go clothes shopping. Constructive rather than destructive.

It bugs the crap outta me when I dump a girl and they get active, wear nicer clothes and bug better people; so I can vouch that stuff should work.

 

[Phlakes]

You could always just wait or distract yourself, but I found the easiest way is this-

 

[Tekkawarrior]

A continuous depressed and sloppy attitude will drive lovers away, I nearly drove my girlfriend away with it, until she told me it was too much, then one day I woke up and decided to be happy instead, working very well for me until now.

 

[gallaetha_matt]

I think the problem with people today (one of many problems... people, why are they such knobs?) is that nobody knows how to be single. People rush into bad relationships far too quickly, then they get too dependant on them to leave. When one bad relationship ends they just chain onto another bad relationship, then another, until eventually you don't have love, you just have fear. People are afraid of being alone like it's a bad thing.

Learn to enjoy being single, is my advice. I also realise that it must be pretty early on for this advice to sink in. So take some time for yourself. Enjoy your own time. After all when you're on your own you can read, play video games, write, draw and play an instrument without any interruptions. There's nobody around to monopolise your time anymore. It's all yours.

After you've taken all the time you need. There's some good advice in this thread about making friends, follow that and get yourself out there to have some fun. Meeting new people can be scary, but it's also pretty exciting - and it's great to meet somebody that you genuinely get along with.

Who knows where these friendships will lead? They will have friends to introduce you too, one of them could be your next love.

I insist though that before you even think about getting in another relationship, that you learn to like yourself, figure out what makes you great and play it up. This could take a while but in the end it'll be worth it. It's nicer to make somebody else fall in love with you than the other way around (just be careful not to break any hearts!).

You'll be fine. After all, you said that he was your first love. There'll be plenty more loves to come, trust me. Good luck!

 

[VulakAerr]

I went through this about 15 months ago. Nothing will make you feel better at the time, you just need to be strong enough not to make any rash decisions (I myself went onto medication for a short time but it was so strong it scared me into sorting myself out) and realise that things will get better.

A good idea would be to get out of surroundings that remind you of past times as much as you can. Go out with friends, perhaps. Do things that you felt maybe you couldn't do when you were in a relationship. Be selfish with your time and find something that makes YOU happy. That way you can recover your individual identity which is often mixed up and confused when in a relationship.

I'm not suggesting this works for everyone, and I don't even think it's especially healthy, but whenever I was in a situation such as this, I retreated to an MMO. Anything that takes up a lot of time and keeps your mind off the day to day. Another alternative is to find a big-ass boxset of DVDs and do some marathons through that, either with yourself or friends.

Anyway, I hope you find a way to take the sting out of it before too long. It's a horrible situation and it can sometimes take a while to get better, but it will.

Edit: Typos.

 

[AWAR]

You want my advice? Don't ask for advices in a gaming forum.

 

[Slash Dementia]

Live it single until you're able to be happy with yourself; if he loves/loved you, then it's not impossible for someone else to love you, and if you grow to be better than you were before the break-up, then I'm sure that it would give someone an even greater reason to care about you. Take your time, and don't try to be something you're not when you feel this way, because it's yourself who people should love you for, not who you may try to be to get over this.

Do stuff that you like, and search for your source of independent happiness.

It took 2 1/2 years for me to get over someone, and I had "felt" feelings for other people, but they weren't the same.

I feel that I wasted lots of time being depressed over it, but at the same time, it made me into who I am now, and I have my amazing girlfriend whom I love, and apparently, I mean the world to her--as she does to me. And honestly, I love her for exactly who she is. The years of depression couldn't have been rewarded any better.

 

[TimeLord]

No one can truly tell you how to get over someone, but I find that time eventually numbs the feeling to the point where you can find someone else.

I was dumped by my gf of 2 years and although that was a year ago, I still have some feelings for her, I have gotten over her enough to ask out other girls.

None of the other girls have said yes yet which doesn't help at all!

 

[Evil the White]

Give it time. It always hurts, but in time you will move on.

 

[Vampire cat]

I dye my hair, find some cool clothes and look awesome. Thats how I deal. Then I'm awesome for 2-3 months until I've forgotten his name, and BAM; I'm over it OO.

I was going to say just let time help you get over it but this sounds much more uplifting.

After my first long term relationship ended I thought I'd never get over it but now, it was nothing really. The relationship will always be important but they all have to end at some point.

Anyway, remind yourself of how great you actually are and that you don't need someone else there all the time to complete you.

Even better if you put this on your iPod or whatnot, and walk down the street with your awesome clothes. If this doesn't put you in a good mood nothing will =D.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Vj092UgKwQ

 

[Berserker119]

Aw, and here I thought this was going to be about Mola Ram. Oh well.

 

[Sqalevon]

To everyone who thinks the guy is a complete asshole.
Look at it from this way.
At least he's honest enough to admit that he cant commit to that relationship for whatever reason, and he chooses to break up instead of exploit his girlfriend who is still in love.

 

[thahat]

This is just another sad breakup thread, so if you don?t want to see/hear it, then turn away now.

Yesterday, the only person I have ever loved broke my heart. And I don?t even understand why. Even during the three hours that it took for us to say goodbye, he still kissed me and told me he loves me. I?ve barely slept and I can?t sleep because if I lay in my bed I just think about him, and it hurts so much. I?ve been in relationships before, but I?ve never cared about the other person. I don?t know how I?m ever going to find someone to love me, when I?m such a loser. I don?t have friends, or a job, or any purpose in my life. He was the person who gave me strength to make it through every day.

He said his reasons for breaking up with me, was because he has other issues like family problems, and he?s starting his masters at uni soon. So I guess I was the only existing problem he could get rid of. He said I have mood swings and my depression is getting too much for him. And every word he said was another stab in my heart.

I don?t know how I?m ever going to get over this, how can I get over someone when I love them so much. Even though he?s hurt me, more than I?ve ever been hurt before, I can?t even hate him.

How do you get over someone you love?

sounds to me like you were too much to cary for him, only logical that his pillar of support for you crashes @ your depression was getting to much /moodswings

ive had times with my girlfriend when i thought damn girl, get your act togeather!
( i on the other hand had the time and energy to get her out

but more on to the stuff that will help you NOW and not in your next relationship:
well the ting to do is, stupidly enough, look on the bright side.
you now have more time, more energy and less ties, you can do pretymuch what you want!
and if i were you, id start with that depression of yours, get your life back on track.
then as soon as thats ticking over nicely, THEN start thinking of people of the opposite sex again XD ( in the mean time, hell, maybe someone will even just start paying attention to YOU! seeing as your a new you again, ( which gives self-confidence, self confidence: mayor turn on in a girl )

but advice for the shortest time possible: go and do something fun, dont feel bad about yourself, chocolate is okey, but dont over-do it, oh, and my girlfriends personal hint: exersize, and take a warm shower afterwards. aperently it makes you feel good about yourself XD

 

[thahat]

To everyone who thinks the guy is a complete asshole.
Look at it from this way.
At least he's honest enough to admit that he cant commit to that relationship for whatever reason, and he chooses to break up instead of exploit his girlfriend who is still in love.

exploit? nah not exploit, she's depressed, thats puts a mayor strain one him, i can see his decision being the right thing on his end, you just cant deal with that AND school both 100%

 

[TimeLord]

You want my advice? Don't ask for advices in a gaming forum.

This thread is in the Off-Topic forum....

 

[spartan231490]

sorry, my advice. Listen to music, it won't solve the problem, but it will make you feel better for a while. You'll find someone, if you don't give up, of course.

 

[CaptainREBell]

It must be hard to think of a world without them...but what is there to be afraid of? You are now back in charge of your own life, you don't have to share anything and there are a lot more possibilities for you.
Eat, drink, be merry, it may add up to be quite expensive but you deserve it.
Friends are good but aren't always prepared to understand your problems. Talk to Cleverbot. It will irritate you to distraction.
Go to a lonely place and shout, it'll make you feel strangely powerful and perhaps a bit silly, but it's good to be able to smile about yourself again.
"No man is worth your tears, because the ones that are will never make you cry." Or something like that.

I'm actually a bit of a 'villain'; I'm in a relationship, and have been for 9 months, and have just told the guy that I don't want to stay with him at university. He's crushed. I love him, but I can't be with him forever, so when do I leave him? When we have hundreds of miles to help us get over each other. Love isn't particularly kind; you have to stop seeing it in the rose-tinted glow it's been held in, and accept that nothing is perfect, and whether the imperfections are too great. It's easy to think about what you could of had, and about the positive things, but a relationship isn't all sunshine and sparklies.

I hope you find a life that you're happy to be in. Whether it's one on your own, or with someone else, unemployed or employed, hobbies and friends or not. Just make sure it's what makes you happy. That ALL aspects can make you happy.

 

[SimuLord]

No one can truly tell you how to get over someone, but I find that time eventually numbs the feeling to the point where you can find someone else.

I was dumped by my gf of 2 years and although that was a year ago, I still have some feelings for her, I have gotten over her enough to ask out other girls.

None of the other girls have said yes yet which doesn't help at all!

Ye gods, man...you can't get a date? There ain't much hope for the rest of us if a guy who looks like you can't get women to fall at his feet. And I say that as a completely heterosexual dude.

 

[Sqalevon]

To everyone who thinks the guy is a complete asshole.
Look at it from this way.
At least he's honest enough to admit that he cant commit to that relationship for whatever reason, and he chooses to break up instead of exploit his girlfriend who is still in love.

exploit? nah not exploit, she's depressed, thats puts a mayor strain one him, i can see his decision being the right thing on his end, you just cant deal with that AND school both 100%

I meant it more in a "Love makes blind" kinda way.
He could have used her until she didnt love him anymore...