So Neptune is sitting on your couch...

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Neptune was a Roman god and Poseidon was a greek one. Anyway I would say "Oh, hi Neptune." and continue to ask him all sorts of questions.

 

[Aiden_the-Joker1]

Sup Neptune how's it going? *Fist Bump*

 

[Bleedingskye]

Honestly I'd freak out and have thousands of questions, most likely very timid to ask and could quite possibly walk back out the door thinking that my bad day has ended in hallucinations...I"m unimpressed with everyone so likely to be cool with it...lets get creative maybe...If i start prepping myself now, Maybe I could get off a couple shots of my super soaker (that I will now carry with me constantly) and see what kind of terribly amazing water fight would ensue.

 

[iLazy]

"Who are you?"
"Poseidon, God of the Sea. I'm also known as Neptune."
"So you're a God."
"Yes."
"...Okay. So out of all the places you could be, why are you on my couch?"
"I am a God, who are you to question where I should be?"
"Touche. Well, there's a fridge on the main floor, so help yourself. Snacks are in the cupboards. Dinner at 7 if you want to join. All I ask is that you don't watch MTV, and try not to destroy my stuff."
"I make no promises on that last part."
"Okay, how about you don't harm my electronics, my pets and books?"
"Deal."

I imagine Neptune to be intimadating but reasonable. After we've gotten to know each other, I'd ask him if he'd take me on an sea adventure.

 

[iLazy]

You know Budda? Tell him that I want pink shirt back. It's been a week and I haven't heard from him.

 

[Leole]

More like:

"Wh-WHO ARE YOU?"

"I'm Neptune, duh. Who the hades uses a trident anymore?"

"I mean, what are you DOING in my house?"

"Are you telling me, the god of the seas, he "can't" be in your house, mortal?"

"What, no- I don't- What?"

"That's right. Now how do you turn this "Station of Play the Third" on?"

And we'd proceed to play Portal 2 in Co-op.

 

[Florion]

I'd offer drinks and do the whole hospitality thing, and then when he offers me a favour I ask if we can make steamy love, because Poseidon is a sexy mofo.

"The first I saw was Tyro. She was daughter of Salmoneus and wife of Cretheus the son of Aeolus. She fell in love with the river Enipeus who is much the most beautiful river in the whole world. Once when she was taking a walk by his side as usual, Neptune, disguised as her lover, lay with her at the mouth of the river, and a huge blue wave arched itself like a mountain over them to hide both woman and god, whereon he loosed her virgin girdle and laid her in a deep slumber. When the god had accomplished the deed of love, he took her hand in his own and said, 'Tyro, rejoice in all good will; the embraces of the gods are not fruitless, and you will have fine twins about this time twelve months. Take great care of them. I am Neptune, so now go home, but hold your tongue and do not tell any one.'"
(Odyssey, Book 11, here: http://classics.mit.edu/Homer/odyssey.11.xi.html)

Kind of a dick move, but also kind of impressive-bold, for some reason...

 

[MintberryCrunch]

Ask him if he wants a glass of water.

I'll be amazed if I haven't been ninja'd for this one.

I'd offer drinks and do the whole hospitality thing, and then when he offers me a favour I ask if we can make steamy love

I see what you did there.

 

[Sephychu]

Situation 1: "Uh, can you move over, that's my spot."

Situation 2: "I don't suppose I could trouble you for a skin sample?"

Situation 3: "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH BROSEIDON, GOD OF THE BROCEAN?"

 

[rancher of monsters]

With a lot of religious questions starting minor flame wars on the Escapist I thought I'd make a more light hearted religion-ish thread. So suppose one day you come home from school/work/whatever to find Neptune, Poseidon, God of the seas, earthquakes, and horses, sitting on your couch. I don't mean a guy that kinda looks like Neptune. I mean toga wearing, sandals on your table, trident leaning against the couch, beard of ocean water, Neptune just flicking through the channels. How would you respond?

Been reading the percy jackson books?

Anyways, i'd ask why he's there, if he wanted anything, and if we could play a game of Halo.

The next book comes out in October and I fully intend to step over and/or on every child in my way to get a copy as soon as possible

What, another one!?!

But the storyline was closed!

And the movie tie in was sheeyat!

Nope, the story line has been open again since last year with The Hero's of Olympus. Remember, they got a new prophecy at the end of the first five books, that's what these are about. And yes, the movie made me want to stab someone.

 

[FreakSheet]

When you said Neptune, I was thinking "How the hell is a planet MANY times the size of Earth on my couch?"

Then I realized...

 

[teisjm]

"So... Do you think aquaman is lame as well?"

 

[Dags90]

Does he have the body and sexual proclivities of metaphorical Greek gods? If yes, then proposition him. Sure, mortal/God relationships didn't always work out well, but imagine the stories you could tell. Plus, I could stop paying for gas and ride horses everywhere instead. And maybe even super powered children conceived in a scallop or something.

 

[LaughingJester]

Grab 2 beers from the fridge and ask him if he's ever heard of a game called God of War?

HAHAHAHA GOLD!!!
And then go get your Twin chain blades and start putting on the red paint?

 

[LaughingJester]

I'd walk over and point to the couch Sheldon style "you're in my spot"

 

[rt052192]

I'd would immediately think to stop smoking cannabis

 

[Zeraki]

With a lot of religious questions starting minor flame wars on the Escapist I thought I'd make a more light hearted religion-ish thread. So suppose one day you come home from school/work/whatever to find Neptune, Poseidon, God of the seas, earthquakes, and horses, sitting on your couch. I don't mean a guy that kinda looks like Neptune. I mean toga wearing, sandals on your table, trident leaning against the couch, beard of ocean water, Neptune just flicking through the channels. How would you respond?

Been reading the percy jackson books?

Anyways, i'd ask why he's there, if he wanted anything, and if we could play a game of Halo.

The next book comes out in October and I fully intend to step over and/or on every child in my way to get a copy as soon as possible

What, another one!?!

But the storyline was closed!

And the movie tie in was sheeyat!

The Heroes of Olympus series. The first book has actually been out for a while now.

It's a new storyline focusing on the Roman aspect of the gods, and Rachel's prophecy at the end of The Last Olympian. It's pretty good... and they have a Steampunk Dragon.

OT: I was actually going to make a Percy Jackson reference. Something along the lines of "have you read this book called the Lightning Thief? You might like it." Either that or show him the beginning of God of War 3... just to see his reaction.

 

[thecoreyhlltt]

make me a tuna salad *turns me into a tuna salad*
.... god damn you neptune

 

[e033x]

"Oh man, my christian friends and aquaintances are not going to like this... That makes me happy."

And then:

"Give me resources, and I'll build you a temple"