So, you just found out you are Jesus...

[Blemontea]

Summon a top hat from nowhere and see the world, i dont care if im in state testing i can now will myself into college WOOO! Also start a bit of an apocalypse by giving access to magic to every species and destroying every clock on the world, Oooh im so evil im giddy.

 

[ryanxm]

go talk to the west borrow baptist church...

 

[The Night Shade]

WOW Dude jesus is cool

 

[Flac00]

I WOULD DESTROY YOU ALL!!!!! or just have a sandwich.

 

[Preston_r]

Step 1 - Go have a looooooong looooong talk with "daddy" about what he really wants from mankind. You know, straight from the deities mouth as it were. Like - Do you really hate the gays? Do you really hate pre-marital sex? Do you really send people to hell for all eternity?

Since, any deity that would allow me to live as its child would answer all of those questions "No, duh, what are you stupid?" I'd then beam back down to earth and start spreading the real gospel.

Miracles? I got some of those too! I'd reveal the glory of the true god to those who defile the message of love. Starting with the WBC one day when its freaks are on the TV trying to get publicity and then moving on to all the other nutjobs around the world.

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

So I'm Jesus now. No big surprise.

 

[Nosense]

I would right a book and go on Oprah to promote it........oh wait ^_^

 

[Browbeat]

Most likely, I would at first indulge base desires with my powers, justifying it as a Father's system at my disposal, and if I'm given access to these powers, then I must test their boundaries. However, soon after, I would begin to contemplate my role in existence as a scion of limitless power among mortals. I would then lose myself in the nature of all, and much like Dr. Manhattan, lose touch with everything human.

 

[Chase Yojimbo]

I would beat discipline into the younger generations, anyone under 20, and a medium percentage under 40.

 

[nomzy]

Then Jesus has been a bad, bad boy..

 

[AgDr_ODST]

Well first things first i'd politely quit my job (I am Jesus I've got more important work now)

Directly after that I'd take care of those bastards in the WBC that give me and dad a bad name, but not in the extreme banish to hell way...I think I'd instead approach them as they protest a funeral and try to talk with them(just to do it) and then make mutes of of the lot of them before they could respond with thier hatespeech drivel then I'd change the writing on thier signs so that it would declare that they are wrong and that God has punished them by taking thier voices. Once all thats said and done I'd undo the brainwashing that they've done to thier kids who are 20 and under. (all of course at a time when TV cameras are recording them)

Once that is taken care of I'd show my devine powers to my friends in a very badass way and then use them to the advantage of me and my friends. After doing that for awhile I'd allow into Heaven all of the damned in Hell who were gay. then I'd see the alternatives to all the many What ifs I've had in my life

 

[MadBlueWinnie]

I will turn water into BEER!

 

[Master Taffer]

I'd declare video games sacred, PETA to be Satan worshippers, Chris Nolan to be my prophet, and that women need to eat more.

 

[Prof. Monkeypox]

Well, if Jesus is inherently good, then whatever I do must be right, quad era demonstrandum. I'll just let people follow my example.

 

[tombman888]

I wouldn't bother getting a job then (still want to finish school, don't ask why) since i could just conjure up me some cash.

then i'd become a super hero, with the secret identity and all that get-up.

 

[BrownGaijin]

My Revelation would start something like this:
Hello everyone! In case you're wondering I'm Jesus! Can you believe it? Jesus is a Mexican-American! So basically it's time for me to reveal my father's plan in order to intervene and to pass judgement. Westboro Baptist Church, you're up first!

 

[Laurie Barnes]

Judgement day has come. I am the mighty hammer of the only god, and I shall smite the unworthy. All evil beings will be instantly and painfully terminated, starting with terrorists, griefers, trolls, and 90% of youtube commenters. My wrath shall be swift and merciless, but fair.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

Assuming I've got basically unlimited power...

1) Put an immediate end to all major wars. Dismantle a large portion of most militaries.
2) Free all oppressed populations. No more dictators or tyrants hoarding resources.
3) Place a strict limit of one child per family. Begin curbing our overpopulation problem.
4) Redistribute wealth until everyone has BASIC food, water, shelter, and healthcare.
5) Redirect government spending towards education and scientific research.

I guess a broad description of my goals would be this: no more widespread violence or suffering, reasonable ranges for disparities in wealth and quality of life, and a primary focus on academic and technological pursuits. Essentially, everyone gets to live, hard workers still prosper, and the end-game is advancing our knowledge and capability as a species.

 

[Ignatz_Zwakh]

I resurrect Oda Nobunaga and call down all the heavenly hosts in order to take over the world.

 

[Purple Shrimp]

How can I be jesus, Im already the god of hellfire!

AND I BRING YOU Fire?