MyFooThurTS said:
It's cute when people don't understand any of the things they talk about and then accuse others of being morons.
You assume 'acting like men' is intrinsic. It's not, and you need to learn what the word gender means. Unless you're the worst gay man in the world I assume you've managed to have a functional sexual relationship with another man without having some kind of screaming identity crisis about violating your own masculinity. The term 'acting like a man' is completely meaningless, because there are very few behaviours, none of which can be acceptably done in public, which inherently signify a male position without any kind of social interpretation.
Misandry does not mean what you think. It is not based on a hatred of 'male behaviours', but an essential position that
all men perform male behaviours to the detriment of women. Misandrists don't generally go into a raging fit whenever they see a woman in a trouser suit or drinking beer. It is also not the same thing as misogyny because the genders are differentially positioned. This is fucking basic stuff.
The stereotypical misogynist doesn't exist. You're utterly assuming the existence of such a thing despite the complete absence of such in any kind of visual and material culture. Misogyny is not a school of thought, a belief or a conviction. It is almost never used in those terms except in a few extreme and unambiguous cases. Misogyny is a subtext which runs across a wide range of social formations and organizations. Also, if there was such a stereotype you've got it utterly wrong. Misogynists
love 'female' behaviours in the traditional sense, because those behaviours generally keep women well confined and controlled within the domestic sphere.
You sit there and whine about how men aren't allowed to be men. What the fuck are you even talking about. If you expect there not to be social consequences for behaving in a certain way because that's 'what men do' then you can fuck right off. If a woman decides that getting married is her duty and she should sit at home squirting out babies because that's what being a woman means, sure, maybe she can, but do you think that doesn't position her or colour the way in which people react to her.
Point one. Drinking beer is not intrinsic to masculinity. Liking cars is not intrinsic to masculinity. Fighting is not intrinsic to masculinity. The world is full of men who don't do these things. You talk about wanting to do what you want, but what you actually want is for everyone to share your conception of what you
are and to grant you exemptions from social critique based on that. No, of course they fucking won't. It's the 21st century and you have to take some responsibility for yourself, not sitting there whining about what a man is meant to do and insulting your entire sex in the process. You're allowed to be more complicated than that, and you're deliberately choosing not to be and expecting everyone else to do the same or else they might be 'feminine', forgive me if I'm not impressed.
Point two. 'Being a man' is not something you do on your own. If it was, the fact that women didn't like you 'being a man' wouldn't matter. Being a man only matters if there are women around who share that conception and value it. You're not just asking for the right to 'be a man' in the terms you describe, you're saying that women have an obligation to accept and value that. There is an unspoken assumption of superiority inherent in the state of being a man. When men go to war, it is partly on the assumption of protecting women. When men fight, it is often explicitly or implicitly seen as a competition over who is most fit to possess women. Note the word 'possess' in that sentence. By positioning women in relation to the traits you describe, you also position a degree of power and ownership over them.
Or to be blunt, by essentializing traits you also essentialize the relationships between traits, which are fundamentally very unfair.
Acceptance of people as human beings vs. strategic essentialism of groups based on unequal positions. It's a simple fucking concept.
