Spanking your kids and parenting

[zen5887]

When I was in grade 1 I stole a kids lunch, the teachers told my parents and dad smacked me silly. That was the last time I stole someones lunch.

 

[ThePlasmatizer]

Some people you just can't reason with, I'm not sympathizing with his views but why did you bait him into getting angry?

Does it matter? If your kid baits you, you're the adult--you're supposed to be above that.

Especially if they do it by expressing an opinion on religion!

This isn't fairytale's and fantasys here, we are talking about rl where there are actually terrible parents out there.

If you know someone is unstable it's best to not provoke them.

Mere days ago, my dad hit me out of anger. Not amazingly hard, after all he's a fat old git, but the man hit me in the ribs when I tried to explain why I wasn't the same religion as him. He's a fascist homophobic pig. I'm not actually gay, but his attitude towards homosexuals really gets to me. He is also deeply religious, and likes to think that only his point of view is the only possible right one, no matter what anybody says. He really is that stubborn. If God appeared before him and commanded him to hug a gay man, he would just huff and waddle off.

I would say it is little stretch of the imagination to describe my relationship with him as a deep loathing, and a rather more superficial feeling of hate.

I'm perfectly old enough to know what pain feels like, but he still just decided to hit me. The thing is, my brother had to pull him off before I hit him back, because I suspect that I could beat the crap out of him if I ever felt a real need to. So there : do you think him hitting me without any reason, purpose or, as a matter of fact, consequence, is acceptable?

Some people you just can't reason with, I'm not sympathizing with his views but why did you bait him into getting angry?

I didn't exactly mean to. He started a rant about Catholicism, I tried to start a discussion about something he said, philosophically if you like. I was just interested. He then just told me to shut up, and that I'm thirteen, I'm not old enough to have my own views, that I should just stop pretending that I know what I'm talking about, and start going to church. He was quite drunk, as he is most nights. When he's drunk, he doesn't get angry or violent, just really stubborn and stupid.

I'd just leave him alone to be drunk by himself then, there's no use reasoning with some people.

 

[Lukeje]

Huh? Sexual abuse? Where did that come from?

So pulling down a kids pants to spank their behind doesn't constitute sexual abuse? Although I think the quote was supposed to be more general than referring to just your post Carl.

 

[TsunamiWombat]

Huh? Sexual abuse? Where did that come from?

Came from this

...Maybe not ineffective, but barbaric? Certainly. Especially spanking which is a form of sexual abuse--every person needs to know they have full power to control access to their private parts as early as possible...

 

[klc0100]

My grand parents were beaten my mum was beaten and I was beaten and I shall beat my children some day its how my family works and I have yet to see it have negative effect.

 

[Lukeje]

My grand parents were beaten my mum was beaten and I was beaten and I shall beat my children some day its how my family works and I have yet to see it have negative effect.

Errm... you just pointed out the negative effect... the fact that the beatings are going to lead to you beating some small kid!

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

If you smack a kid, just get ready when they..

A) Figure out that you hit like a ***** and don't care about your smack.

B) Figure out that they can kick your ass and proceed to do so.

It's not just hitting. Without proper logical boundaries you are essentially establishing a construct of might makes right.

That's every parent's choice and I don't personally think the government should have any say however lets not sit here and pretend that smacking your kid is a smart or profound way of raising a child.

 

[klc0100]

My grand parents were beaten my mum was beaten and I was beaten and I shall beat my children some day its how my family works and I have yet to see it have negative effect.

Errm... you just pointed out the negative effect... the fact that the beatings are going to lead to you beating some small kid!

Not some random kid my own child. And I would rather hit some sense into that child than allow them to grow up senseless.

 

[ThePlasmatizer]

Some people you just can't reason with, I'm not sympathizing with his views but why did you bait him into getting angry?

Does it matter? If your kid baits you, you're the adult--you're supposed to be above that.

Especially if they do it by expressing an opinion on religion!

This isn't fairytale's and fantasys here, we are talking about rl

Actually, I thought we were talking about parenting, not how to survive if you're a kid.

Yeah we are and we were talking about bad parenting and the fact that some people you can't change.

 

[runtheplacered]

My grand parents were beaten my mum was beaten and I was beaten and I shall beat my children some day its how my family works and I have yet to see it have negative effect.

Do you at least realize how illogical you are?

 

[Lukeje]

My grand parents were beaten my mum was beaten and I was beaten and I shall beat my children some day its how my family works and I have yet to see it have negative effect.

Errm... you just pointed out the negative effect... the fact that the beatings are going to lead to you beating some small kid!

Not some random kid my own child. And I would rather hit some sense into that child than allow them to grow up senseless.

So you're not going to consider other options? At the first sign of misbehaviour you are just going to hit the child? Not question why it is doing what it is doing? There's always an alternative. And you may want to question your motives; are you going to hit the child because you were hit, because you feel that it is your duty to make sure that your child suffers as much as you did?

My grand parents were beaten my mum was beaten and I was beaten and I shall beat my children some day its how my family works and I have yet to see it have negative effect.

Do you at least realize how illogical you are?

I've been trying to point that out to him...

 

[Varchld]

If you beat a dog, do you think that it increases the chance that it'll one day bite you or be more aggressive in the future?

Smacking a child or taking to them with any kind of violence isn't going to make them a better person, it's not going to strengthen family bonds, it's not teaching them right from wrong but just teaching them that they are less then the parent and are going to get hurt if they do something that the parent doesn't like.

It's too much of an easy way out but very occasionally it is okay.
There's too many stupid people in the world to just say it's okay though.

 

[Evilbunny]

My parents used to beat the crap out of me when I fucked up, and I turned out fine. I intend to do the same to my son.

I think you just exemplified why you shouldn't hit children.

How? I'm not going to hit him when I'm just mad. I'll spank him when he does something wrong. How else am I supposed to show him what he did was wrong?

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

I've only been spanked once and that was because I stabbed a kid in the back with a pair of scissors in the first grade.

You were a badass first grader.........

 

[Evilbunny]

My parents used to beat the crap out of me when I fucked up, and I turned out fine. I intend to do the same to my son.

I think you just exemplified why you shouldn't hit children.

How? I'm not going to hit him when I'm just mad. I'll spank him when he does something wrong. How else am I supposed to show him what he did was wrong?

Try talking to him, and explaining in clear terms and an authoritative voice that what he did was wrong.

You don't have a lot of experience dealing with children, do you?