Spanking your kids and parenting

[ThePlasmatizer]

My parents used to beat the crap out of me when I fucked up, and I turned out fine. I intend to do the same to my son.

I think you just exemplified why you shouldn't hit children.

How? I'm not going to hit him when I'm just mad. I'll spank him when he does something wrong. How else am I supposed to show him what he did was wrong?

Try talking to him, and explaining in clear terms and an authoritative voice that what he did was wrong.

You don't have a lot of experience dealing with children, do you?

I have to agree with Evilbunny, you can talk all you want but they won't care all a child will think is you are being unfair and if they're not punished for disobeying they will become unruly later.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Try talking to him, and explaining in clear terms and an authoritative voice that what he did was wrong.

Bulldrek.

If your kid is about to touch something red-hot (And it's REAL easy for them to do that), you've got two choices.
A) Try and stop him peacefully and watch your child get third degree burns.
B) Yell at him and crack him one immediately so he KNOWS that it's dangerous.

There's a huge difference between hitting them to warn them and hitting them because you're a sadist.
Latter is wrong on all accounts, former is needed because children simply don't have the capacity to consider cause-effect.

Without some of my father's hard parenting, I wouldn't be alive today.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I've only been spanked once and that was because I stabbed a kid in the back with a pair of scissors in the first grade.

You were a badass first grader.........

Meh, I nearly dropped a boulder on one. Got beaten within an inch of my life for that.

 

[D_987]

It worked for Victorian Britian...

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Ah, that'll be it. But I wasn't referring to spanking, he just punched me in the ribs, if he ever tried spanking me I'd pummel him into a sticky goo.

Right...now imagine being that Teacher...your student has just stabbed a compass into someone's hand. What 'exactly' do you do to that kid?

Punishment HAS to be severe and immediate otherwise it's abuse; but punishment IS needed to save them from themselves.

Can you imagine a Sergeant Major telling his charges that 'live ammunition is a no-no'?

 

[Altorin]

You don't have a lot of experience dealing with children, do you?

I love that reasoning--as if we weren't all children at one point.

being a child and being a parent are two entirely different cans of beans.

I definately know I probably would be better off now if my parents had laid down the law.

I had wishywashy parents, and I'm a complete loser now

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Without some of my father's hard parenting, I wouldn't be alive today.

Yeah but, that's just you, Root.

Maybe. Maybe not. Anyone else want to admit what they were punished for and how they were punished? (And more importantly, whether they did it again?)

 

[Lukeje]

Try talking to him, and explaining in clear terms and an authoritative voice that what he did was wrong.

You don't have a lot of experience dealing with children, do you?

I'd say that apparently you don't. You have to set boundaries, and you have to set punishments. But you also have to have rewards. Therefore a punishment can be lack of a reward. Speaking in an authoritative tone of voice is a punishment. Barin mind that eve if you do beat the child, you still have to explain what they did wrong. It may be obvious to you, but maybe not to them.
Yes, corporal punishment is easier (it's always far easier to rule with arms than reason) but not necessary.

 

[Evilbunny]

You don't have a lot of experience dealing with children, do you?

I love that reasoning--as if we weren't all children at one point.

Ok no, that's not a valid argument. Just because you were a kid at some point doesn't mean you know how to be a parent to one. When you are the adult you have to do some things that the kid would deem "unfair" or something of the like. You have to punish them when they do wrong because you are the parent and you know better than they do. Kids are far too stupid to make their own decisions. You have to set them on the right path or else they will end up sucking at life.

 

[The Overmatt]

I admit that sometimes if a kid is being completely incorrigible, a little smack might need to be what it takes to get them to learn not to behave that way. That being said I really can't see myself hitting my kids, because I just don't think it's right.

My dad used to threaten to "knock my lights out" when I was a kid, oftentimes when I didn't even realise I'd done anything wrong, and that always bothered me: he'd never take the time to calmly explain what it was I'd done wrong, he'd just threaten me. My mom was a bit better about things. That being said, when my dad threatened me with the same sort of thing 2 years ago, I looked him dead in the eye and said "Dad, you've been using that threat on me for years and I'm getting sick of it. If you're gonna hit me then quit mouthing off and hit me." He left the room, only to return an hour later with a comment of "I'd never hit you."

Also, if anyone's seen Shoot 'Em Up, there's a pretty good scene in it that relates to this discussion.

 

[Morderkaine]

Very young kids shouldnt be spanked because they are too young to understand a lesson. But for young kids who seriously misbehave, spanking may be the only remedy. I of course are not saying to beat them, just a single smack (picture the standard 'smarten up' smack upside the head) or putting them over your knee for a minute.
Now, the first solutuion for bad behavior is to reason with the child, use time outs, take away privleges, etc. When those fail, sometimes the only thing that will get through to the child is a spanking - short, non injuring physical pain that they wont want to happen again. If the child stops the bad behavior without spankings - great. But if the dont stop, a spanking is the next level of punishment.
I would much rather slightly over discipline my child than underdicipline and let him/her grow up to not have morals or listen to authority or become a criminal. Because many cases of kids growing up wrong and committing crimes could have been prevented by proper discipline from their parents. Parents who dont dicipline their kids leave the possibility of them growing up thinking there is no reprecussions for their actions and think they can do anything and get away with it.
Not saying all kids need spanking - many dont but with some its the only way to break through to them and teach them not to do whatever they just did again. And it should be saved for the really important things, like the 2nd or third time the kid tries to play with the kitchen knives.

 

[Altorin]

I wasn't even really commenting on spanking

i just thought your reasoning was ridiculous.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Speaking in an authoritative tone of voice is a punishment.

Christ, the bullies in my school would have queued up to laugh at you.

Quick question to you anti-corporal punishment people : Has the overall level of childhood truancy/expulsions/teacher injuries increased or decreased since the banning of corporal punishment?