Suppose God gave you the keys to the car...

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Jedoro

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Jun 28, 2009
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1) Make Bioware redo the ending of Mass Effect 3

2) Fix human DNA to get rid of genetic disorders

3) Give everyone telekinetic powers

4) Watch the hilarity ensue
 

Bradeck

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Sep 5, 2011
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Considering god does not exist, nor do any magical purple dragons made of blueberry muffins, that decide fate. If however, some crazy old bearded homeless man came up to me and handed me keys, I would likely buy him a sandwich and direct him to a shelter.
 

xPixelatedx

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Jan 19, 2011
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Go to an alternate (better) universe where gaming didn't become brown FPSs filled with smarmy every-man protagonists and retarded motion control.

I am pretty sure that world got it's virtual Reality to, something we will never have because it's not causal enough.
 

Namehere

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May 6, 2012
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COME ON! Every one knows if there really was a god, I'd have to run him over. This universe is a dictatorship with god, and I won't let him wonder off to form a rebel army in Andromeda! Nah, give me the car keys and I'm backing it over him when he isn't looking!

Seriously? Hide somewhere. Do as little as divinely possible... Wonder if this already happened?

EDIT: Some folk here seem to think 'saying no' is an option. Divinity: children if you are ever offered divinity, just say no. Sorry not happening. I might not be responsible enough for divinity, but who the hell is? Offer it, I'll take it. Then its off to hiding. Its a boring existence, reminds me a little of being the Queen of England - in the worst possible way. On the other hand it might be fun to turn myself into Dr. Who, or do you think I'd be sued? Can you successfully sue an living immortal god?
 

Mr Fixit

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Oct 22, 2008
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Thats a hard question to answer, I'd probably just sit back & observe for a few years. Too much interfering is a bad thing, the world should be allowed to progress naturally. I'd travel the world by normal means & just try to help various people in my travels, very few blatant miracles, just assistance. Maybe one day I'd just vanish, but i think I'd want to lead a "normal" mortal life before taking on that kind of job, maybe even have a few demi-god children while i'm at it, that would make things very interesting for future generations.

Then after a few thousand years I'd come back as a merciless overlord just to test mankinds will to exist... Maybe have my demi-god children "defeat" me after an epic battle that would leave the world forever changed.

Oh & just for shits & giggles I'd give people random pointless & harmless powers, like the ability to conjure a sandwich out of thin air & stuff like that....
 

Generalissimo

Your Commander-in-Chief
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Jun 15, 2011
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Kendarik said:
Tom Milner said:
ohhhh boy, i have a lot of work to do:

1. unify korea under a democratic goverment
2. end famine
3. give wealth and hope to third world nations
4. end facism and communism
5. pick off all radical fundamentalists (of all kinds)
6. encourage everyone to follow zen
7. raise islands in the pacific and atlantic to create more living space
8. encourage the moral advancement of science and technology
People who give answers like this need to watch moves like Bruce Almighty.

1) By definition you can't force a democratic government. Just forcing it is never works (see many cases this has been attempted in this century)
2) That's nice for today. What happens tomorrow? Or are you going to wave a wand every day and let people stop growing and producing food?
3) Yes, tons of wealth where there is none and devaluing all the money in the world will definitely fix the world and not lead to mass war at all *rolls eyes*
4) Except YOU are instituting communism in order to make 2 & 3 work
5) I wonder what a radical is...
7) We don't have a shortage of living space. Large parts of the world are already underpopulated. The problem with population is MUCH more complex than that.
8) Ah, but your communist wealth redistribution and free food might discourage continued development.
sheesh, someone's a miserable sod...
 

kwydjebo

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Sep 1, 2010
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I'd totally be about the subtle passive, "Not sure if god is doing anything" involvement.
TIpping probability juuuuuuust a little.

Miracle Mondays. Little Miracles, helping some people who could really use it. A good person who is down on his/her luck, maybe they win 50 grand in the lotto.

Tuesday would be "Mess with a religious Extremist" day. A lot of people are doing crazy stuff in my name, I would personally tell them to stop being d-bags.

Wed. would be "Mess with an Aethiest day". Nothing vengeful, just a little "Hey buddy look at this glass of water...well NOW ITS WINE, do you believe it....oh I guess not".

Thursday would be celebrity day. A "Deserving" celebrity will get some attention from me in some way. Like I would reveal myself to Bill Maher (That would be fun, and he seems like a guy who could take a joke). Or maybe I'd autograph a copy of Dogma for Kevin Smith "Totally wrong but nice try, I loved it, keep up the good work, see you in 23 years...34 if you start going to the gym. Your Maker"


I'd do other important things too, and there is a whole universe to look at, but for my amusement those are things that I'd do.
 

mega48man

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Mar 12, 2009
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make a public announcement to everyone telling them not only am i now the true god, but also not to worship me or i'll stop them from doing so. instead, spend your time bettering yourself and helping those around you.

also, i will hold pre-announced public displays where i mutilate, torture, and execute criminals who i catch child molesting/raping/torturing/kidnapping, psychopathic murderers, and war lords.

and as for corrupt government officials, something very fun; everyday they grow more and more corrupt and hurt people through their actions, i will make every day of their life really shitty mondays that will only get worse and worse. once they see good hearted officials living happy lives, they'll turn around and i'll stop making their day shitty.

i will literally become Karma incarnate.
 

theheroofaction

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Jan 20, 2011
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Can't believe nobody's thought of this yet.
1) get rid of aging
2) make STDs extinct.
3) cause giant orgies.
 
Feb 28, 2008
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Ain't that a difficult question? Part of me wants to throw the whole thought out of the window and say "I would't touch it", but then ... How could you live with yourself, knowing that there are people out there who are sick and unhappy, poor and hungry - and you had the means to lift them beyond their current state?

But then, if I'm suddenly given untold, infinite power, does that translate to untold, infinite knowledge? If so, my outlook on events would be radically different, making it impossible for me to say what I actually would do. I guess I would give it some consideration ...
 

bossfight1

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Apr 23, 2009
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Well, because there's so much heat about how God wants us to live, I'd just make it EXCEPTIONALLY CLEAR, and have my message engraved in every single person's subconcious. When every person is born, I leave my mark that says "You should do this, you should not do this", blah blah...

As for what they should and shouldn't do...
-No killing unless it's self-defense under extreme circumstances
-No tormenting people (looking at you, WBC)
-Being gay or a transgender is NOT an abomination
-There IS a Heaven and Hell

Let's be honest; half the conflicts these days are based from religious BELIEFS. If everyone was ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN in the existence of ONE GOD, and it was clear what that God wanted, so much strife would be gone.
 

Scarim Coral

Jumped the ship
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Oct 29, 2010
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Start fixing the world problems like-

1. Rebuild the ozone layer and magically erase the methane so no more green house problem.
2. With the above in mind, add more ice to the North and South pole so the polar bear and penquin are happy.
3. More rain in Africa and their crop magically grow alot so no more famine problem over there.
4. Elimate hate and spread more happiness.
5. More money to the people and more employement so no more recession.
6. Create a cure for cancer of all kinds.
7. With money problem solve, inspire the people again to try outer space again.
8. Repopular the endanger speices starting the pandas and seaturtle. However this will only happen when the space program had started colonies (otherwise I would have problem being over crowded).
9. Elimate the fat and obese problem so junk food is not a bad thing all the time (however healthy food still provide the hightest nutrient).
10. People with mental problems are cure (prisoner or evil people with mental problem are cure but also repent for their crimes).
11. Human being more kinder to each other including the internet.
 

DoomyMcDoom

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Jul 4, 2008
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I'd take it, but I'd probably end up getting bored and imploding the universe...

But while I wasn't bored and imploding the universe, I would aim to even the playing field a little in our world, y'know all those rich people, I'd fuck their fortunes up big time, after all, every time they say we're all well off, and there's nothing wrong, they should try living on the income I live on, doing as much work for the pittance I make as I do, and see if they can find their fortunes through the walled in poverty prison I'm stuck in, cuz I sure as hell don't see a way out of it.

Also, I'd make certain people I know suffer in ways that are hard to immagine, I would be a vengeful god indeed.
 

JaceArveduin

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Mar 14, 2011
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I'd be a lazy shabuir to be honest, let life play out how it will while creating myself a utopia and doing whatever pleases me for the rest of my eternal life, and then eventually pass it on to some other poor soul. Hell, I might even turn a few furries into their anthro version's just to see the reactions.
 

NightHawk21

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Dec 8, 2010
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Well first I troll people all over the place I was at to test and get a handle on my new abilities, and also for shits and giggles. Then I raise a giant floating city in the sky, and during the recent Olympic games I come in during the opening and proclaim myself god over all mankind. Then I abolish every government in the world, and create a united government where every nation will have a representative with me at its head. I also integrate into every religious institution, unifying them all into one.

I then make things better slowly and advance science to the point where I send my people out to colonize as much as possible and convert other natives on other planets to my banner, while I plot to overthrow the god who gave me all this power for supreme control of everything.
 

jhoroz

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Mar 7, 2012
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I'd rev that baby up to 80 miles per hour and get ready to see some serious shit.