They honestly scare the shit out of me...Captain Bobbossa said:MiracleOfSound said:
pussy...
Those horrible clicking legs, clicking in my headphones around my ears (shudder)
Take your favorite game - and RIP IT TO SHREDS!
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Those horrible clicking legs, clicking in my headphones around my ears (shudder)
kotor
-some cutscenes are stupid and need more action or conflict involved in them
-your better than kotor 2 by far on running..but your still a little fucked up on being smooth on some parts
- should have much more varied depth in the combat, especially depending on if your using a energy weapon/laser (maybe add bullets) weapons/sword and maybe even shield weapons
-better charac...shit im not gonna lie there, those are my favorite parts, maybe they could've worked better on the non jedi/mandalorian/robot characters..but i aint complaining.
- should've had more factions or something, having JUST the jedi order and JUST the sith doesn't seem possible. have some grey factions involved!
5...so i assume im reasonable then? hmm..i love the game to death but there is so much potential for it to be godlike!
-some cutscenes are stupid and need more action or conflict involved in them
-your better than kotor 2 by far on running..but your still a little fucked up on being smooth on some parts
- should have much more varied depth in the combat, especially depending on if your using a energy weapon/laser (maybe add bullets) weapons/sword and maybe even shield weapons
-better charac...shit im not gonna lie there, those are my favorite parts, maybe they could've worked better on the non jedi/mandalorian/robot characters..but i aint complaining.
- should've had more factions or something, having JUST the jedi order and JUST the sith doesn't seem possible. have some grey factions involved!
5...so i assume im reasonable then? hmm..i love the game to death but there is so much potential for it to be godlike!
Final Fantasy VII *Sigh*
Here goes...
Well if I have to be elitist about the consoles we have these days, the graphics on the characters are utter shite.
It's too easy.
Cloud was perhaps a tad emo.
It was a bit predictable in places.
Sephiroth had an obsession with his mother? No. Something never rings true to me here, it was a bit shit. He was badass without that part.
Barret was obviously the token black guy.
Cait Sith's marshmallow body was twatish.
Results? Uh ok well I thought I could make a bunch of points here but turns out I couldn't so I'm probably quite the fangirl... sorry : \
Here goes...
Well if I have to be elitist about the consoles we have these days, the graphics on the characters are utter shite.
It's too easy.
Cloud was perhaps a tad emo.
It was a bit predictable in places.
Sephiroth had an obsession with his mother? No. Something never rings true to me here, it was a bit shit. He was badass without that part.
Barret was obviously the token black guy.
Cait Sith's marshmallow body was twatish.
Results? Uh ok well I thought I could make a bunch of points here but turns out I couldn't so I'm probably quite the fangirl... sorry : \
Heavy Rain:
1. Hundreds of minor plotholes (Madison having Jayden's phone number... From where?).
2. One MAJOR plothole (Ethan's blackouts).
3. Controls, while you can get a hold of them after some time, are still ridiculous. I see no goddamn reason for being allowed to use left stick to choose direction, but NOT to go forward with it (not when this whole 'looking around' thing could've been easily done with directional buttons, or removed completely without too much pain).
4. GODDAMNIT, why I cannot run? I would've caught Jason billion times already, if not for Ethan's terribly slow pace.
5. Some of the NPC's (The two girls making out in Gordi Kramer's room anyone?) look hideously ugly.
6. For a game that campaigned itself on 'Even the slightest decision may change EVERYTHING' slogan, there's not really that much choices to make, and the game is... actually quite linear. Sure, there are a lot of details which changes depending on what you did, but ultimately, I can think of only three choices that actually changed anything in terms of game ending, and you will ALWAYS find something/meet someone (Lauren!), even if you'll desperately try not to, because that's the only way to go. Not to mention always visiting the same place to do the same thing. I expected something more on that field.
EDIT: 7. Madison lacks depth in comparison to other three main characters.
----------------
And now, if you'll excuse me - I'm going to beat that game for the 17th time. Even though, I just nitpicked every single thing I didn't like about it, it's still my all time favorite, period.
1. Hundreds of minor plotholes (Madison having Jayden's phone number... From where?).
2. One MAJOR plothole (Ethan's blackouts).
3. Controls, while you can get a hold of them after some time, are still ridiculous. I see no goddamn reason for being allowed to use left stick to choose direction, but NOT to go forward with it (not when this whole 'looking around' thing could've been easily done with directional buttons, or removed completely without too much pain).
4. GODDAMNIT, why I cannot run? I would've caught Jason billion times already, if not for Ethan's terribly slow pace.
5. Some of the NPC's (The two girls making out in Gordi Kramer's room anyone?) look hideously ugly.
6. For a game that campaigned itself on 'Even the slightest decision may change EVERYTHING' slogan, there's not really that much choices to make, and the game is... actually quite linear. Sure, there are a lot of details which changes depending on what you did, but ultimately, I can think of only three choices that actually changed anything in terms of game ending, and you will ALWAYS find something/meet someone (Lauren!), even if you'll desperately try not to, because that's the only way to go. Not to mention always visiting the same place to do the same thing. I expected something more on that field.
EDIT: 7. Madison lacks depth in comparison to other three main characters.
----------------
And now, if you'll excuse me - I'm going to beat that game for the 17th time. Even though, I just nitpicked every single thing I didn't like about it, it's still my all time favorite, period.
really? On my playthroughs of crystal and soulsilver Her miltank was easy, I could get it KO'd in 3 hit's as long and she doesn't heal, though I usually have my pokémon at Level 20 by that pointteutonicman said:
Fallout 3:
1. Bugs
2. Bugs
3. More bugs
4. Super jagged edges on ps3
5. Horrendous 3rd person
6. Bad animation
7. Main questline too short
8. Moira Brown is so annoying, oh gawd.
9. 10x more unmarked quests than side and main quests combined.
10. Too hard at times
11. Broken quests
12. Getting lost in the metros
13. Bad FPS experience
14. Grenades fly like 5 ft
Red Dead Reddemption:
1. Imprecise walking, despite superb walking animation.
2. Having to tap X over and over to sprint.
3. Bobcats in your face.
4. Horse randomly dying.
5. You can change John's clothes, but not his hat.
6. Jack Marston sucks.
7. Free-roam sucks without all the expansion packs.
Infamous:
1. Mediocre Graphics in terms of anti aliasing and smoothing edges.
2. Death animations scripted, bodies are stiff and do not respond to enviornment.
3. Bad in game cutscenes.
4. Zeke is annoying.
5. Karma system somewhat sucky.
6. Lack of decent hand to hand combat.
7. takes forever to get static thrusters.
AC2:
1. Major graphics downgrade
2. Several sworddplay elements removed (such as when your enemy kicks you in the stomach as a counter attack and knocks you down.
3. AI worse than the first game.
4. Italy didn't feel as much like Italy in AC2 as Israel felt like Israel in AC1.
5. Changed too much from the original game.
6. Ezio looked too complicated aesthetically, while Altair was sleek, silent, and actually had a decent sword.
7. Ragdoll physics as bad as ever.
8. Blood looks terrible.
9. HUD took a change for the worse. (animus 2.0 sucks)
10. No city looked decent at night.
11. Venice sucked.
12. Economic system felt wrong.
13. You can't kill civies without penalty in the end like you could in the first game.
1. Bugs
2. Bugs
3. More bugs
4. Super jagged edges on ps3
5. Horrendous 3rd person
6. Bad animation
7. Main questline too short
8. Moira Brown is so annoying, oh gawd.
9. 10x more unmarked quests than side and main quests combined.
10. Too hard at times
11. Broken quests
12. Getting lost in the metros
13. Bad FPS experience
14. Grenades fly like 5 ft
Red Dead Reddemption:
1. Imprecise walking, despite superb walking animation.
2. Having to tap X over and over to sprint.
3. Bobcats in your face.
4. Horse randomly dying.
5. You can change John's clothes, but not his hat.
6. Jack Marston sucks.
7. Free-roam sucks without all the expansion packs.
Infamous:
1. Mediocre Graphics in terms of anti aliasing and smoothing edges.
2. Death animations scripted, bodies are stiff and do not respond to enviornment.
3. Bad in game cutscenes.
4. Zeke is annoying.
5. Karma system somewhat sucky.
6. Lack of decent hand to hand combat.
7. takes forever to get static thrusters.
AC2:
1. Major graphics downgrade
2. Several sworddplay elements removed (such as when your enemy kicks you in the stomach as a counter attack and knocks you down.
3. AI worse than the first game.
4. Italy didn't feel as much like Italy in AC2 as Israel felt like Israel in AC1.
5. Changed too much from the original game.
6. Ezio looked too complicated aesthetically, while Altair was sleek, silent, and actually had a decent sword.
7. Ragdoll physics as bad as ever.
8. Blood looks terrible.
9. HUD took a change for the worse. (animus 2.0 sucks)
10. No city looked decent at night.
11. Venice sucked.
12. Economic system felt wrong.
13. You can't kill civies without penalty in the end like you could in the first game.
Magic Carpet 2:
1. No servers for online multiplayer
2. No local multiplayer (splitscreen)
3. No sandbox style level.
4. Hydra's are really really way too hard to kill
5. Buggy (it crashes on newer OS's)
6. Graphics are REALLY dated.
7. I need DosBox to run it now.
1. No servers for online multiplayer
2. No local multiplayer (splitscreen)
3. No sandbox style level.
4. Hydra's are really really way too hard to kill
5. Buggy (it crashes on newer OS's)
6. Graphics are REALLY dated.
7. I need DosBox to run it now.
Fallout New Vegas:
1)The bugs, The BUGS. (And I'm not talking about radioactive insects.)
2)No other game freezes as often.
3)Dosen't have the wow-factor to some of the earlier games.
4)The moral-bar is still useless, but not removed.
5)Should be more casinogames, like poker.
6)The awsome armor on the cover is faction-armor and cannot be used in certain areas (except in battle)
7) Music on the radio ain't as good as Fallout 3 (But Three dog's gone = GOOD THING)
8) Blasphemy against one of historys most awsome characters Caesar.
Guess I'm reasonable...
1)The bugs, The BUGS. (And I'm not talking about radioactive insects.)
2)No other game freezes as often.
3)Dosen't have the wow-factor to some of the earlier games.
4)The moral-bar is still useless, but not removed.
5)Should be more casinogames, like poker.
6)The awsome armor on the cover is faction-armor and cannot be used in certain areas (except in battle)
7) Music on the radio ain't as good as Fallout 3 (But Three dog's gone = GOOD THING)
8) Blasphemy against one of historys most awsome characters Caesar.
Guess I'm reasonable...
Tales of Symphonia
-Takes forever to get going
-world map is fantastically ugly
-sidequests activate when they want to
-enemy designs repeat
- some puzzles have no solution nut trial and error
- End boss is a cakewalk
- In engine cutscenes are lame.
-Takes forever to get going
-world map is fantastically ugly
-sidequests activate when they want to
-enemy designs repeat
- some puzzles have no solution nut trial and error
- End boss is a cakewalk
- In engine cutscenes are lame.
Continuing...
MW2:
Singleplayer:
1. Impossible to follow in regard to plot.
2. Terrible AI.
3. Dying ALL THE TIME
4. Campaign simply not as immersive as that of WaW.
5. Doesn't deserve an M rating. Not that gory.
6. When you can understand the plot, it's cliche' and terrible.
7. Overly hyped.
8. Campaign too short.
Multiplayer
1. Too many 8 yr olds squeaking in my face.
2. Campers.
3. Barret 50 cal overpowered.
MW2:
Singleplayer:
1. Impossible to follow in regard to plot.
2. Terrible AI.
3. Dying ALL THE TIME
4. Campaign simply not as immersive as that of WaW.
5. Doesn't deserve an M rating. Not that gory.
6. When you can understand the plot, it's cliche' and terrible.
7. Overly hyped.
8. Campaign too short.
Multiplayer
1. Too many 8 yr olds squeaking in my face.
2. Campers.
3. Barret 50 cal overpowered.
Dear Jak and Daxter series,
You have been a major part of my childhood and I have nothing bad to say. Well,I guess the vehicles were meh on controls.
Stay beautiful.
You have been a major part of my childhood and I have nothing bad to say. Well,I guess the vehicles were meh on controls.
Stay beautiful.
Dear Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
I want to let you know in advance, i'm doing this because I love you.
1.Your story is obscenely overwrought and over written, not to mention almost unintelligibly complex
2. You have numerous characters whose very existence raise my ire, such as Fortune (whiny *****), Vamp (arrogant bastard, won't f***ing stay dead), Raiden (ok, but way to effeminate) and numerous others
3. Did you really expect the reveal of Pliskin's identity to be a plot twist?! You mean the guy who looks and sounds exactly like Solid Snake is Solid Snake? AMAZING!!
4. WTF was that thing the Metal Gear Ray used at the end of the tanker chapter, some sort of laser, because it looked a hell of a lot like a high pressure water gun
5. Your underwater controls SUCK, especially when you've got a hydrophobic nerd whose life depends on you
6. What was that on Arsenal Gear? "Fission Mailed"? really cute, asshole, and thank you Campbell for the gardening advice
7. I kind of liked Fatman as a character, in fact he's on of the only members of Dead Cell I liked, but finding all of those bombs was a huge pain in the ass
8. the whole switching between weird third person view and first person for shooting is incredibly irritating, especially when fighting bosses who move around a lot, kind of like Fatman
9. Whats with the cutscenes, MGS 2? I know you're known for ridiculous ones, but the second to last one was an hour and a half, AN HOUR AND A FREAKIN' HALF!
10. And that one part where you need to knock out one of the Gurlukovich guards and use them to open that retina scan security door, I got that one. After dozens of attempts!
11. And don't forget that adorable sequence with Raiden running around Arsenal Gear in his birthday suit, covering his manhood with only his hands. i didn't really need to see that
12. Also, you've got an M rating, you can curse you know, you don't have to worry about it, I won't mind
13. What the hell were those MArines doing in the Tanker Chapter? Turning from side to side isn't "stretching", no matter what Dolph says
14. On that note, what was with Fortune being Scott Dolphs daughter, it seems like the kind of thing you would go somewhere with, but you didn't. Or maybe you did and i wasn't paying attention because Fortunes a stupid *****
15. What was with the second to last boss fight, THREE Metal Gear Rays! C'mon, especially since you pulled tat and followed it up with a fairly easy boss fight against Solidus
16. BTW nice pretentious, post modernistic narrative on the evolution and ever growing involvement of information in conducting modern warfare and the impact of self replicating ideas on that process (actually I kinda like that part)
17. and referring back to Fortune (i really don't like her). Why give her a friggin' gun that shoots LIGHTNING if she's invulnerable to damage in the first place, that defeats the purpose. It's like giving the worlds best killer guns that never run out of ammo and never miss (yes i'm referring to the Saint of Killers)
18.Why must you cling to the shaky sniper scope? i realize you're going for realism, but your game has armies of GIANT ROBOTS WITH NUCLEAR MISSILES! I think you can afford some leeway in that department
19. Why can't i pause during cutscenes? There are epically long, and if I want to go get a soda or something i run the risk of missing a good part, like, for example, the first time Vamp gets killed, the first of at least THREE, so I guess I didn't miss much
20. What's that BS in the beginning of the Big Shell section where you trick us into thinking it's Solid Snake swimming up to there, not cool man, not cool
21. The game over screens with Campbell are not nearly as entertaining as the ones with Otacon
22. what's up with taking Fatman out of the story so quickly, I, as previously mentioned, actually liked him, same goes for Peter Stillman, at least until he got blown up
23. You could've made it clearer what was up with the Campbell and rosemary AI's, were the part of the Patriots, were the sentient etc.
I think that's all, at least for now. So many flaws, and yet i keep coming back, amazing.
Sincerely Yours,
ClockWork
Oh yeah, bring on the obligatory Yahtzee references (or am I supposed to do that)
I want to let you know in advance, i'm doing this because I love you.
1.Your story is obscenely overwrought and over written, not to mention almost unintelligibly complex
2. You have numerous characters whose very existence raise my ire, such as Fortune (whiny *****), Vamp (arrogant bastard, won't f***ing stay dead), Raiden (ok, but way to effeminate) and numerous others
3. Did you really expect the reveal of Pliskin's identity to be a plot twist?! You mean the guy who looks and sounds exactly like Solid Snake is Solid Snake? AMAZING!!
4. WTF was that thing the Metal Gear Ray used at the end of the tanker chapter, some sort of laser, because it looked a hell of a lot like a high pressure water gun
5. Your underwater controls SUCK, especially when you've got a hydrophobic nerd whose life depends on you
6. What was that on Arsenal Gear? "Fission Mailed"? really cute, asshole, and thank you Campbell for the gardening advice
7. I kind of liked Fatman as a character, in fact he's on of the only members of Dead Cell I liked, but finding all of those bombs was a huge pain in the ass
8. the whole switching between weird third person view and first person for shooting is incredibly irritating, especially when fighting bosses who move around a lot, kind of like Fatman
9. Whats with the cutscenes, MGS 2? I know you're known for ridiculous ones, but the second to last one was an hour and a half, AN HOUR AND A FREAKIN' HALF!
10. And that one part where you need to knock out one of the Gurlukovich guards and use them to open that retina scan security door, I got that one. After dozens of attempts!
11. And don't forget that adorable sequence with Raiden running around Arsenal Gear in his birthday suit, covering his manhood with only his hands. i didn't really need to see that
12. Also, you've got an M rating, you can curse you know, you don't have to worry about it, I won't mind
13. What the hell were those MArines doing in the Tanker Chapter? Turning from side to side isn't "stretching", no matter what Dolph says
14. On that note, what was with Fortune being Scott Dolphs daughter, it seems like the kind of thing you would go somewhere with, but you didn't. Or maybe you did and i wasn't paying attention because Fortunes a stupid *****
15. What was with the second to last boss fight, THREE Metal Gear Rays! C'mon, especially since you pulled tat and followed it up with a fairly easy boss fight against Solidus
16. BTW nice pretentious, post modernistic narrative on the evolution and ever growing involvement of information in conducting modern warfare and the impact of self replicating ideas on that process (actually I kinda like that part)
17. and referring back to Fortune (i really don't like her). Why give her a friggin' gun that shoots LIGHTNING if she's invulnerable to damage in the first place, that defeats the purpose. It's like giving the worlds best killer guns that never run out of ammo and never miss (yes i'm referring to the Saint of Killers)
18.Why must you cling to the shaky sniper scope? i realize you're going for realism, but your game has armies of GIANT ROBOTS WITH NUCLEAR MISSILES! I think you can afford some leeway in that department
19. Why can't i pause during cutscenes? There are epically long, and if I want to go get a soda or something i run the risk of missing a good part, like, for example, the first time Vamp gets killed, the first of at least THREE, so I guess I didn't miss much
20. What's that BS in the beginning of the Big Shell section where you trick us into thinking it's Solid Snake swimming up to there, not cool man, not cool
21. The game over screens with Campbell are not nearly as entertaining as the ones with Otacon
22. what's up with taking Fatman out of the story so quickly, I, as previously mentioned, actually liked him, same goes for Peter Stillman, at least until he got blown up
23. You could've made it clearer what was up with the Campbell and rosemary AI's, were the part of the Patriots, were the sentient etc.
I think that's all, at least for now. So many flaws, and yet i keep coming back, amazing.
Sincerely Yours,
ClockWork
Oh yeah, bring on the obligatory Yahtzee references (or am I supposed to do that)
Half-Life 2 & Episodes:
1) Confusing and convoluted plot
2) Annoying friendly A.I.
3) Repetitive puzzles
4) Enigmatic release dates
5) Inconsistent pace
6) Conflicting themes
7) Limited weapon variety
8) Over-implemented physics engine (?)
9) Drawn-out vehicle sections
10) Predictable set pieces
Can I have my free cyanide now?
1) Confusing and convoluted plot
2) Annoying friendly A.I.
3) Repetitive puzzles
4) Enigmatic release dates
5) Inconsistent pace
6) Conflicting themes
7) Limited weapon variety
8) Over-implemented physics engine (?)
9) Drawn-out vehicle sections
10) Predictable set pieces
Can I have my free cyanide now?
Dear Silent Hill 2:
1. I know you probably spent most of your budget buying your players tickets for front-row seats to watch traumatic monster-on-monster rape on at least two occasions, but that isn't an excuse to resorting to drugging and kidnapping innocents off the street and calling them voice actors. Maybe they still felt the after-effects of the chloroform you administered when a script was shoved in front of their faces and they were told to read out what they saw, possibly with an overworked and underpaid voice coach standing with a taser behind them.
Or maybe you just hired really shitty actors. I know it's not quite You Were Almost A Jill Sandwich quality, but Laura's painfully laboured "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you..." is almost enough to make up for it.
2. James Sunderland. James. Motherfucking. Sunderland. Now, I understand that the protagonists of anything horror do tend to be somewhat stupid; at least to a degree. James jumped over that line on a flaming motorcycle, through six Rings of Death, over a pool of carnivorous robot sharks, and only looked back to give his stunned audience on the other side the finger.
Firstly, James could only be gaming's best contender for Captain Obvious of the Universe. "It's hot as hell in here"? I mean, you're not standing in the middle of a blazing inferno, or anything.
Secondly, there are examples of your protagonist's stupidity in literally nearly every single scene. Want that key on the other side of those bars? Why not completely ignore your plank of wood with nails in the end to dislocate your shoulder instead! Want to get away from Pyramid Head getting down and funky with a pair of mannequins? Gee, James, why not run further into the room, trap yourself in a closet and keep your flashlight on? No wonder he fucking saw you.
3. I might as well not even bother with your combat: not because you can run past the majority of them anyway, but because actually fighting them is akin to gnawing my own face off -- in which case, I might as well let that Lying Figure get a meal out of my nutritious, nutritious flesh. That James has to spend five seconds considering whether hitting the monster in front of him really *is* the right thing to do, and maybe there's another option, him getting acid spewed in his face as a result is only mildly amusing the first time round. Sometimes, not even then.
4. All right; your camera can be genuinely clever during cut scenes. During cut scenes. But during actual gameplay? It's sellotaped to one awkward corner after the other, and anybody who can correctly get their desired angle in under five seconds I consider nothing less than a god.
5. Your dialogue is...not very good. In fact, it's kind of awful, in places. This is where we get all of James' material from, which almost writes itself as comedy gold. May I also add that repeatedly saying a character's name to express confusion/anger/sadness/surprise/etc. does not replace actual writing. ("Maria?" "James!" "Maria! ...Mary?" "James? James!" "Mary!" "Maria!" "Maria?" "Maria!" "Mary...")
6. Pick up the ammo, James. Yes, it's on the floor. You're standing right next to it. In fact, you're looking straight at it. Perhaps you can't believe what you're seeing, but that's all right, it is real. Just pick it up. Yes, now. Pick it up now. Not in a few minutes, not tomorrow, not till Santa arrives and puts it in your stocking for you. Now. OK, I'll just maneuver you slightly to the left...there, is that better? No? Because you're still not picking it up. Just bend down, extend your hand...JUST PICK UP THE DAMN BULLETS, *****!
7. Please sort out your character animation, SH2. Specifically, James. Specifically, when James is running. The swaying back end of his coat can be easily mistaken for his hips, and that makes your main character look like the most flamboyant jogger in the world.
8. Goddamn, get a lock repairman. Jesus Christ.
1. I know you probably spent most of your budget buying your players tickets for front-row seats to watch traumatic monster-on-monster rape on at least two occasions, but that isn't an excuse to resorting to drugging and kidnapping innocents off the street and calling them voice actors. Maybe they still felt the after-effects of the chloroform you administered when a script was shoved in front of their faces and they were told to read out what they saw, possibly with an overworked and underpaid voice coach standing with a taser behind them.
Or maybe you just hired really shitty actors. I know it's not quite You Were Almost A Jill Sandwich quality, but Laura's painfully laboured "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you..." is almost enough to make up for it.
2. James Sunderland. James. Motherfucking. Sunderland. Now, I understand that the protagonists of anything horror do tend to be somewhat stupid; at least to a degree. James jumped over that line on a flaming motorcycle, through six Rings of Death, over a pool of carnivorous robot sharks, and only looked back to give his stunned audience on the other side the finger.
Firstly, James could only be gaming's best contender for Captain Obvious of the Universe. "It's hot as hell in here"? I mean, you're not standing in the middle of a blazing inferno, or anything.
Secondly, there are examples of your protagonist's stupidity in literally nearly every single scene. Want that key on the other side of those bars? Why not completely ignore your plank of wood with nails in the end to dislocate your shoulder instead! Want to get away from Pyramid Head getting down and funky with a pair of mannequins? Gee, James, why not run further into the room, trap yourself in a closet and keep your flashlight on? No wonder he fucking saw you.
3. I might as well not even bother with your combat: not because you can run past the majority of them anyway, but because actually fighting them is akin to gnawing my own face off -- in which case, I might as well let that Lying Figure get a meal out of my nutritious, nutritious flesh. That James has to spend five seconds considering whether hitting the monster in front of him really *is* the right thing to do, and maybe there's another option, him getting acid spewed in his face as a result is only mildly amusing the first time round. Sometimes, not even then.
4. All right; your camera can be genuinely clever during cut scenes. During cut scenes. But during actual gameplay? It's sellotaped to one awkward corner after the other, and anybody who can correctly get their desired angle in under five seconds I consider nothing less than a god.
5. Your dialogue is...not very good. In fact, it's kind of awful, in places. This is where we get all of James' material from, which almost writes itself as comedy gold. May I also add that repeatedly saying a character's name to express confusion/anger/sadness/surprise/etc. does not replace actual writing. ("Maria?" "James!" "Maria! ...Mary?" "James? James!" "Mary!" "Maria!" "Maria?" "Maria!" "Mary...")
6. Pick up the ammo, James. Yes, it's on the floor. You're standing right next to it. In fact, you're looking straight at it. Perhaps you can't believe what you're seeing, but that's all right, it is real. Just pick it up. Yes, now. Pick it up now. Not in a few minutes, not tomorrow, not till Santa arrives and puts it in your stocking for you. Now. OK, I'll just maneuver you slightly to the left...there, is that better? No? Because you're still not picking it up. Just bend down, extend your hand...JUST PICK UP THE DAMN BULLETS, *****!
7. Please sort out your character animation, SH2. Specifically, James. Specifically, when James is running. The swaying back end of his coat can be easily mistaken for his hips, and that makes your main character look like the most flamboyant jogger in the world.
8. Goddamn, get a lock repairman. Jesus Christ.
Phew. That was certainly longer than expected.
I found most of what I complained about kind of irrelevant compared to how much I loved the atmosphere, story, and symbolism. I just love that game. Heck, I even love James, in that 'Aww, bless' kind of way.
Sly Cooper series
1. Ewww... furries
2. one life? really? one fucking life??
3. Is a giant metal question mark really a convienient weapon?
4. Why is no one wearing pants?
5. Why does carmelita fox have a different accent in every game?
6. Why are these games so comically racially insensitive?
7. Why is Sly always smiling?
8. Why is Murphy pink?
9. How can hate be condensed into a microchip?
10. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO REBUILD YOUR WORST ENEMY?
11. Why was there only one copy of Thevius Racoonus, yet it was in english, and had been used in the family since ancient egypt?
12. Why does Benney have to wear a helmet?
13. WTF is with the ending of the third game? Does Sly remember or what? Is there really a need to build time machine then?
14. Why was it nescesary for the mouse girl to pretend to be evil when she was willing to join the group the whole time?
15. How does carmelita still have a job with INTERPOL?
Unpleasable, yay!
1. Ewww... furries
2. one life? really? one fucking life??
3. Is a giant metal question mark really a convienient weapon?
4. Why is no one wearing pants?
5. Why does carmelita fox have a different accent in every game?
6. Why are these games so comically racially insensitive?
7. Why is Sly always smiling?
8. Why is Murphy pink?
9. How can hate be condensed into a microchip?
10. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO REBUILD YOUR WORST ENEMY?
11. Why was there only one copy of Thevius Racoonus, yet it was in english, and had been used in the family since ancient egypt?
12. Why does Benney have to wear a helmet?
13. WTF is with the ending of the third game? Does Sly remember or what? Is there really a need to build time machine then?
14. Why was it nescesary for the mouse girl to pretend to be evil when she was willing to join the group the whole time?
15. How does carmelita still have a job with INTERPOL?
Unpleasable, yay!