Tales of Really Dumb Teammates

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srm79

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phage83 said:
what i really hate is when the people that get on your case ARE good but rage at you for not doing what they want then don't help you out. that's what i hate the people that rage at you but don't help.
I try to take the "adopt-a-n00b" approach, especially in BF3 at the moment. Now, I'm not the world authority on all things BF, but if I'm teamed with one or more really low level players who are making beginners mistakes, I'll try and help 'em along with a few gentle words of encouragement. It was someone taking time to do that with me that got me so hooked on BF3.

Any other online game I've ever played, I've tended to take the same approach.
 

Erttheking

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Halo Reach, snipers...I think my teammates thought that they had been given clubs.
 

Hylke Langhout

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I got one from TF2. I was playing heavy because I'm new at the game and our team already has medics (for once). We're trying to take the final checkpoint to win the match, but the other team had it heavily defended. I run toward the rest of the team and request a medic, who was already there with uber fully charged. What does our friend do? He runs a way and starts healing a demoman who was still on his way there, while I get mobbed by three cloaked spies (two of which I could take out before the third backstabbed me). Thanks for that Mr. Medic. This is why I usually don't go to random servers, or just play a different game over LAN, so that I can talk to the people sitting next to me.
 

Fijiman

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Thyunda said:
This first one was on Chromehounds, at least a year ago.
Actually it would have been a little over two years now because I've had XBL for two years and SEGA shut down the servers just a few days before I activated my XBL account. I will forever be disappointed in SEGA for doing that.

The other one takes place in Modern Warfare 3's Hardcore Kill Confirmed. It plays by Ricochet rules, so any damage you attempt to inflict on a team-mate is reflected on you. A nice idea, but painful in practice.
My brother made it his personal mission to run in front of our mutual friend's gun. I don't think he even realises when he's doing it, but he just KNOWS that perfect moment to stick his head between a bad guy and a gun barrel.

For a little while, I had Martyrdom as my death streak. I have Dead Man's Hand now, but this was then. That mutual friend insisted on squatting over my corpse and its live grenade, killing me on spawn.
Sometimes he'd sit next to my booby trapped care packages, and so I'd defend them more fiercely than I'd defend a regular care package, desperate for him to never have the satisfaction of killing me like that.
I think you need a new friend or two.
 

BloatedGuppy

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Ranorak said:
One of Star Wars The Old Republic's PvP battlegrounds is a variation to Capture the Flag.

2 Sides, a ball in the middle. You task is to pick up the ball and take it to the enemies side, or goal if you will.
The change here is you can toss the ball. You get a little AoE curser and toss the ball, if there is a ally in that AoE, he catches it and can move on. Enemies can catch it too, and if it hits nothing but the ground, it respawns in the middle again.

So...at one point I have the ball, I'm a tank so I have a nice bit of health, but I can't win against the 4 enemies I see that are coming at me. I turn around to toss the ball to a ally, only to notice that all of them are just fighting other enemies in the middle.

No one was there to back me up, they didn't even care for the ball.
They just wanted kills.
Fighting away from the ball CAN work in Huttball, just like fighting away from an objective CAN and HAS worked in other objective based battlegrounds. It's actually a winning strategy, if you're moderately intelligent about it. You just need to make sure there's more of them than you in your little side battle, or that you've drawn off someone really essential, like their only healer. If it's you and three guys beating on some random tank, then yes, you're doing it wrong.

It's like setting a pick, or drawing several defencemen off to open a guy up for a scoring chance. Not everyone needs to be hovering around the flag/ball carrier at all times to be contributing to a win.

In your case it was definitely bad, though.

Also, blame Bioware to some extent. The current setup makes medals more rewarding than wins.
 

TerribleAssassin

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Modern Warfare 3.
Trying to get through a door.
Dick is blocking the door.
Dick is trying to quickscope someone roughly 5 meters away,
Getting pissed off with this guy's 'legitness'
Enemy sprays us down with MP5.
Left game in extreme rage.
 
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Reaper69lol said:
Combat medics in team fortress 2. Do I really need to say more?
Actually, you do. As a one of my primaries is the medic, I can ENSURE YOU that no one protects me. The other team surely gets if I'm helping my squad to survive, they need to get me out of the game. What does my team do when I'm being batted, blasted, and bombed? "Dude. You suck. I need healing". If I explain more than twice that I can't heal them if they keep allowing the enemy team to kill me, I either go Combat Medic or I switch classes.

Protecting myself and healing others occasionally is a tactic that we Medics now adopted because the rest of the team made us. The enemies get that no medic should be left alive. Good for them. Everyone should do their job. But if it's the team's job to get to the goal, and I'm one of the factors... I'm a bit more important than their personal K/D ratio. I'm completely forgoing mine.

I personally like the statement that Combat Medics make; How sucky is it when I don't do my job? Keep me alive, I'll get you to your job.
 

Suicida1 Midget

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Well in Halo Reach i was playing swat.(widescreen tv=easy headshots) So the everyone votes sword base so they could camp the yellow lift and office. I make my way to flank the enemies while my team is holding them in place. Sneaking up i find that all four of em are in the hall. Triple kill with the other guy jumping out the office. Few moments latter i walk by the yellow lift after checking our old spawn and the enemy team goes up the lift 1 at a time feeding me an overkill/extermination. Match coninues with the enemy team just sticking close enough to multi kill. Still got a video of the exterm. We won, like 50-17.
 

Stravant

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Battlefield Bad Company 2

The map : Isla Innocentes
Game type : Rush
My team : 9 Recon (Everyone but my squad), 1 Engineer, 1 Assault, 1 Medic (My squad)

If you've played this map, you've probably experienced this at some point.

For those who don't know, the map in question is almost impossible to win on Rush mode as the attackers without either.

A. A squad who's really good with helicopters
B. Having your whole team attack at once (Like 7 to 8 people attacking at once)

You can probably see the frustrating part.
 

Uriain

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Oh the stories to be told about terribad teammates.

In BF3, I have had teammates run buggies/jeeps with C4 on them into my tanks and detonate the C4 (on FF-on servers) to kill 1 guy beside the tank

In MW3 I have had teammates double flash a room (im flashed they arnt) enter room and shoot me (we have UAV up so they saw it was a friendly)

In TF2, I have had Medic's try and combat it up with needle gun (original) while I (A Heavy) am on fire, battling 3 people (thank the gods for sandvich)

Lastly, I had the same teamate in Gears of War 3, kill me 4 times with a frag grenade when I was downed in a KotR (King of the Ring) game. Kept throwing grenades against the wall (no idea how he kept getting them) near us, so he would damage himself, and kill me with the explosion.
 

redisforever

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Thankfully, I don't have many stories, besides the common ones, of a guy running directly into incoming fire, and so on.

One good one is this: I'm sniping, all the way back in Halo 2. Some guy is crouching next to me. Someone fires a rocket at me, and I see that it would miss. The guy next to me decides to "save me" by jumping in front of the rocket, so it won't hit me. It blows us both up. If he had stayed down, we'd have lived.

RAGE.
 

Thyunda

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Fijiman said:
Thyunda said:
This first one was on Chromehounds, at least a year ago.
Actually it would have been a little over two years now because I've had XBL for two years and SEGA shut down the servers just a few days before I activated my XBL account. I will forever be disappointed in SEGA for doing that.

The other one takes place in Modern Warfare 3's Hardcore Kill Confirmed. It plays by Ricochet rules, so any damage you attempt to inflict on a team-mate is reflected on you. A nice idea, but painful in practice.
My brother made it his personal mission to run in front of our mutual friend's gun. I don't think he even realises when he's doing it, but he just KNOWS that perfect moment to stick his head between a bad guy and a gun barrel.

For a little while, I had Martyrdom as my death streak. I have Dead Man's Hand now, but this was then. That mutual friend insisted on squatting over my corpse and its live grenade, killing me on spawn.
Sometimes he'd sit next to my booby trapped care packages, and so I'd defend them more fiercely than I'd defend a regular care package, desperate for him to never have the satisfaction of killing me like that.
I think you need a new friend or two.
What HAS happened to my perception of time? For all I know, this event could have occurred ten bloody years ago and I'd just remember it like it was yesterday. It happened while Chromehounds still had servers. That's all I can say.
 

mortalsatsuma

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Matthew94 said:
Battlefield BC2

The tank is damaged, I run to heal it from the front and it reverses for 20 seconds and gets shot 2 more times and blows up then I die

All of my rage...
This. The amount of times I have tried to repair a friendly tank that's about to die and they just drive away. I mean cmon you can't seriously tell me you don't want me to 1) keep your powerful vehicle from blowing up and 2) therefore stopping it from killing you.
 

Findlebob

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On cod4 i was sniping on the missile silo map. A guy came up behind me and tried to headshot me with a silenced weapon and missed. I saw the sparks as the bullet hit metal next to me so turned round and unloaded a full mag on the barrat 50cal at him. I ended up headshoting him.

Allso i wasnt moving in the slightest and he still missed.
 

Exocet

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World of Tank. There is a relatively new tank that you can buy for money. Now, they made this tank have crazy good ingame credit income, so anyone that plays this game very seriously has one. It has a very modest gun and it's rather sluggish for its size and purpose.
Unfortunatly,this tank has good frontal armor, which makes damaging it frontally hard when you have a low level tank.

However, when you shoot at the sides or rear, it becomes firing bunker-buster smart bombs at jello. All in all, it's a fair tank. You trade speed and firepower for good armor.
The amount of whine that comes from the forums, and the game is mind-blowing.
When I play this tank, I'll see at least one guy per game desperately firing at my frontal armor, and doing no damage at all, hoping the next shell he fires does something.
After that person spends 2 minutes franctically using all his ammo on a lost cause, instead of falling back, he'll whine and call me a "wallet warrior", then leave the game.

The real problem is that, for some reason, the game loves putting me in the same team as those guys. I swear, I've developped a 6th sense for predicting who will whine, and basically do the equivalent of headbutting a concrete wall to bring it down, instead of calling a wrecking ball to help, for 5 minutes after dying to those tanks.


Well, either that, or people who kill teammates to get vehicles. May those bastards rot in the deepest, darkest circle of hell. There is no redemption for such a heinous act.
 

WhatHityou

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Halo 3, "eh! Stand still I'm trying to hit that guy with a rocket."

This is while i'm having a sword fight with his TARGET!
 

Sassafrass

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Me, yesterday in Halo: Reach.
Playing Rocket CTF, I get the flag and decide to run it halfway towards the other teams base.

Yeah, I was a bit thick. :D