The Ban game

[Solo-Wing]

Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

 

[mParadox]

Ahh yes, Murphy's law clearly states "You will find your perfect woman, and she will be a lesbian."

That made me laugh. XD

 

[Admiral Stukov]

Ahh yes, Murphy's law clearly states "You will find your perfect woman, and she will be a lesbian."

That combined with one of the other parts;
"The minute you get interested in someone, is the minute they find someone else." is basically the entire story of my love life.

And that's why I ban you, for reminding me.

 

[X10J]

Banned for laughing at my joke/truth.

@Admiral: You brought up Murphy's law, so I ban you for blaming me for something you started.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

Banned for getting ninja'd.
Uggh...

 

[Solo-Wing]

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

Today, I decided to take a nap. My boyfriend gave me some sleeping pills but I decided last minute not to take them. I woke up to my boyfriend kissing my neck and unbuttoning my shirt. Without opening my eyes, I whispered "ooh this is so romantic." He blurted out shocked, "Oh...you're awake?!" FML

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I?m afraid to leave home. FML

 

[Nikki Fallingstar]

I'm a Novinist.

What's that?

*Cracks knuckles*

I believe in five gods. Three main gods and two hidden gods.

First goddess is the most important one. Luna, the graceful lover. She controls all of life, love, beauty, the moon, and all that good stuff. She's a beautiful woman clothed in a shining scroll.

Second god is Anubis, the judge and jury. He controls death, wisdom, power, and space. If you don't know what he looks like... Look it up.

Third is Rose, the *****-Queen. She is evil and controls pain, torture, and evil. She looks like a sexy women clothed in black leather made from the skin of orphans and the poor.

The other two are the Bound One and the Impostor.

Each of the five have a vassal. In order, Nova, Daughter of stars, Shadow-Walker, bringer of death, Scarlett, the Coward, the Stone priest, and the Authority.

 

[mParadox]

Banned 'cause it's happening right now.

@_@

 

[Solo-Wing]

Im getting these jokes off of a site. thought I would share them.

 

[Solo-Wing]

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

 

[X10J]

@Dark:
Banned for sarcasm?

 

[mParadox]

Banned for looking adorable when confused.

NINJA!.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

Spoiler: snip

I'm a Novinist.

What's that?

*Cracks knuckles*

I believe in five gods. Three main gods and two hidden gods.

First goddess is the most important one. Luna, the graceful lover. She controls all of life, love, beauty, the moon, and all that good stuff. She's a beautiful woman clothed in a shining scroll.

Second god is Anubis, the judge and jury. He controls death, wisdom, power, and space. If you don't know what he looks like... Look it up.

Third is Rose, the *****-Queen. She is evil and controls pain, torture, and evil. She looks like a sexy women clothed in black leather made from the skin of orphans and the poor.

The other two are the Bound One and the Impostor.

Each of the five have a vassal. In order, Nova, Daughter of stars, Shadow-Walker, bringer of death, Scarlett, the Coward, the Stone priest, and the Authority.

That'd be the Anubis from Egyptian mythology right?

While I don't really believe in anything, I do find the idea that sentient life is basically the manifestation of the universe trying to figure itself out rather appealing.

 

[X10J]

Banned for being a butler, you did it.

 

[mParadox]

Banned because I'm off now.

Bye bye! *hugs corset tight*

 

[Nikki Fallingstar]

Spoiler: snip

I'm a Novinist.

What's that?

*Cracks knuckles*

I believe in five gods. Three main gods and two hidden gods.

First goddess is the most important one. Luna, the graceful lover. She controls all of life, love, beauty, the moon, and all that good stuff. She's a beautiful woman clothed in a shining scroll.

Second god is Anubis, the judge and jury. He controls death, wisdom, power, and space. If you don't know what he looks like... Look it up.

Third is Rose, the *****-Queen. She is evil and controls pain, torture, and evil. She looks like a sexy women clothed in black leather made from the skin of orphans and the poor.

The other two are the Bound One and the Impostor.

Each of the five have a vassal. In order, Nova, Daughter of stars, Shadow-Walker, bringer of death, Scarlett, the Coward, the Stone priest, and the Authority.

That'd be the Anubis from Egyptian mythology right?

While I don't really believe in anything, I do find the idea that sentient life is basically the manifestation of the universe trying to figure itself out rather appealing.

Hee, hee... Yeah... That Anubis... Also... It's symbols are all eyes. I made it because I couldn't find one I liked...