The "Describe a movie in one boring sentence" Game

[Tanfastic]

National Treasure: Man finds a treasure map and some jerks who want the treasure.
Cloverfield: Strange monkey-whale vacations in New York.
Monsters Inc.: City runs on wasteful energy, blue carpet finds a new healthy alternative energy source.
Iron man: Rich man makes weapons, finds out they're for bad guys, destroys them.
Dark knight: Multiple personality syndrome'd man needs to clear his throat and beats up a clown.
Avatar: Primitive blue men live in tree over precious minerals, humans try to get these minerals.

 

[The Warden]

Star Wars: A New Hope - A farmboy gets a hard-on for some chick and goes after her with an old dude, a smartass, and a Carpet on legs, and they blow up one of Palpatine's Balls. Oh yeah, and some dude enters in called 'Darth Vader' I wonder who he is nudge nudge wink wink.

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back - Farmboy trains with a muppet to be a wizard, while everyone else goes to a dinner party with Vader, who turns out to be Farmboy's Father, that's right, the brat. Also, Smartass is sent to his room with no supper.

Star Wars: A New Hope - The Muppet is dead, Smartass gets woken up from his nap, and they all go after Palpatine's other ball with an army of teddy bears. Vader decides to be a good boy and die for Farmboy after 'Killing*' Palpatine, and it turns out Farmboy has been incesting with the hot chick the whole time, so instead she goes for the smartass. So now that Palpatine has no balls and is dead, the Galaxy parties. (*It turns out Palpatine comes back in the EU)

The Dark Knight - A pirate with vocal cancer battles an insane clown who wants everyone to know how he got dem scars.
Also: Hoorah, 800 Posts!

Those actually sounds even more fun than the movies themselves.

Yea since those movies were trying to be story heavy I decided to make them sound as wacky and ridiculous as possible.

 

[DarkRyter]

Avatar: Dances with wolves with pretty jungles.

Batman Begins: Orphan learns karate, puts on spandex.

Sling Blade: Slow mechanic eats french fries.

Dark Knight: Said Orphan tries to beat the shit out of a clown.

 

[w@rew0lf]

Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle: Simpsons did it. Southpark did it too.

 

[rabidmidget]

Pulp Fiction: people swear
Watchmen: Blue guy walks around with his dick out
Serenity: Girl is crazy
Evil dead 2: Couple go to cabin and listen to audiotapes
Being John Malkovich: A guy works in an office and makes money on the side
A clockwork orange: A guy watches a movie he doesn't like

 

[rabidmidget]

woops double post

 

[Dark_Lemon]

Shutter Island: A man visits an island on a windy day, loses his hat at some point.

The Odessa File: A man looks for someone mentioned in a diary. He Finds him.

The Prestige: Two men practice magic tricks.

The Neverending Story: A young boy enjoys reading.

Serenity: A spaceship visits an uninhabited planet.

Avatar: A mining conglomerate finds the aquisition of rare minerals diffcult.

Layer Cake: A man intends to retire but does not.

 

[Indecizion]

Predator : alien goes for a hunting trip

 

[Dapper Ninja]

A Clockwork Orange: A young man with behavioral problems gets a stern lecture.
The Shining: A man struggles to write a paper.
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: A barber expresses his disapproval of the legal system.
Taxi Driver: A taxi driver drives a taxi.
American Psycho: A businessman gets upset over his friend's business card.
Memento:...Sorry, I forgot.

(Also, Marilyn Manson has pet cat called Patrick Batman, so there's like four jokes in one for you.)

I personally prefer "The Goddamn Bateman", but I like that name, too.

(Also, your humble narrator thinks you have a real horrorshow avatar, O my brother).

 

[CATS FTW]

Spider man:
1-Man likes science, spider also likes science, the spider likes it rough and bites the man. Green person tries to kill man spider's new girlfriend after relationship with rough spider falls through.
2-Man from previous movie fights lots of crime, then is depressed and his raging spider bite calms down so he can no longer fight a man with a robotic octopus strapped to his back.
3-Man has since regained powers and continues to punch people and stick them to walls with white stuff. Then goo comes from space that is black, a man spends too much time in a sandbox and the green man's son from the first movie is really pissed off. Subsequent race wars between black and white begin.

 

[SirDerick]

Dawn of the dead: undead corpses. Black guy still dies first.

 

[CATS FTW]

Clash of the titans (the new one)- Atheism! FTW!

 

[CATS FTW]

Night of the living dead- Black man dies last! Ooops, this one is too interesting and different, anyways zombies attack, a bald man is mean.

 

[ethaninja]

Leathal Weapon: Mel Gibson and Dany Glover blow shit up.

 

[Nurb]

The Last Temptation of Christ: What would Jesus do... for a Klondike Bar

I'm going to hell for that one! XD

 

[MicrosoftPaysMe]

Teeth- A women is REALLY good at sex
Transformers(both)- Megan Fox runs in a drty white tank top
40 year old virgin-A guy gets promoted to floor manager
Kill Bill 1- A LOT of people die, Where are the cops?
Kill Bill 2- Someone kills Bill
Grand Torino- "Get off my lawn"
The Departed- Everyone is who they say they aren't
LOTR Fellowship- Frodo takes three hours to find a ring
LOTR Two Towers- Frodo walks for three hours
LOTR Return of the King- Frodo take three and a half hours to throw the ring in a volcano
Any Bruce Willis movie-Bruce Willis talks and punches someone in the face at the same time

 

[MicrosoftPaysMe]

Pulp Fiction: Christopher Walken hides a hunk of metal up his butt for a considerable time.

I was dying durring that part.

 

[James Cassidy]

Saving Private Ryan: Achievement Unlocked 10g.

If you get this joke...bravo.

 

[kotorfan04]

Okay I want to try.
Shaun of the Dead: A couple of guys go to the pub. Service is terrible.
V for Vendetta: Eccentric man plans festivities for Nov 5 holidays.
Alien: Crew member tries to transport exotic species to earth, rest of crew disagrees.
Dawn of the Dead: A couple of guys get the mall all to themselves, then people come and the fun stops.
The Graduate: College grad dicks around in suburbs. Eventually moves out.
Deliverance: Guys go on hiking trip, get to know locals.
Lord of the Rings: Two midgets go on a backpacking trip, one loses valuable ring.
Aliens: People called in to dispose of a local bug problem.

That is all I have for now, hope some of these amuse.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Crank: Jason Statham kicks everyone's ass.
Walker Texas Ranger: Chuck Norris kicks everyone's ass.
Schindler's List: Liam Neeson kicks everyone's ass.
The Incredibles: The Incredibles kick everyone's ass.
Half Life: Full Live Consequences: John Freeman wins the internet, part one of three and a half.
Jesus: Jesus Christ is way cool.
The Passion of the Christ: Jesus is way cool whilst his ass is getting physically kicked.