The Escapist Advice Thread

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MammothBlade

It's not that I LIKE you b-baka!
Oct 12, 2011
5,246
0
0
Pull the joystick all the way towards you, and increase throttle to max.

Dear Escapist, how do I shot down plane?
 

Dalek Caan

Pro-Dalek, Anti-You
Feb 12, 2011
2,871
0
0
Die in the most stupid way possible. People will stop caring for you if you die as idiotically as possible.

Dear Escapist, I've just moved to London to find work and so far have only got called back for one interview, who are still deciding who to take on as a apprentice. Who do I kill a Legendary Dragon in Skyrim?
 

Dalek Caan

Pro-Dalek, Anti-You
Feb 12, 2011
2,871
0
0
Attract a level 43 pyromancer and force him to make a sandwich.

How does I feel the emotions?
 

Headsprouter

Monster Befriender
Legacy
Nov 19, 2010
8,662
3
43
Step 1: Go back to School and learn basic grammar. Step 2: Build Time Machine. Step 3: Use silicone gun on past self. You have now reattached limb.

How do I reproduce?
 

Teoes

Poof, poof, sparkles!
Jun 1, 2010
5,174
0
0

Dear Escapist, I've now stapled both ears to my shoulders. What's next?
 

Headsprouter

Monster Befriender
Legacy
Nov 19, 2010
8,662
3
43
Construct additional pylons.

My grandfather is locked inside a burning building! HEELP!
 

MammothBlade

It's not that I LIKE you b-baka!
Oct 12, 2011
5,246
0
0
Step 1: Find a bull, preferably big and hairy.
Step 2: Mount said bull.
Step 3: Charge through the front door!

Dear Escapist, how do I refill my stamina gauge?
 

Yuno Gasai

Queen of Yandere
Nov 6, 2010
2,587
0
0
Bacon. Apply bacon in and around your mouth. Rinse and repeat.

Dear Escapist, how do I save Will Graham?
 

Headsprouter

Monster Befriender
Legacy
Nov 19, 2010
8,662
3
43
When can't take heat, MAKE KITCHEN! SPEAK WORDS, EEVEE-WOMAN! Goodnight, sweet prince!

How I make now ladies say I hottie?
 

Teoes

Poof, poof, sparkles!
Jun 1, 2010
5,174
0
0
Pick a direction, run and then jump when you reach the edge.

Dear Escapist, how do I drag this thread back on-topic and within the RULES?!?!
 

Dr.Susse

Lv.1 NPC
Apr 17, 2009
16,498
2
43
By grabbing its legs and dragging like a pro bouncer.

Dear Escapist how do I find a good paying job?
 

Yuno Gasai

Queen of Yandere
Nov 6, 2010
2,587
0
0
Man up and just jump in. Ignore the uncomfortable burning sensation, it's completely normal. Just don't look at yourself when you get out, you may not like what you see.

Dear Escapist, how do I shot web?