The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[Ramthundar]

Suddenly Orgazmo was knocked out of the air by a flying troll, landing heavily on one of the huts.
"Whoops, sorry Orgazmo! Put to much spice in that one." Ram called back, ramming another troll and sending it flying.

"Trog Believe he can fly, Trog believe he can touch the skyyyy." the troll sang, before landing in a nearby hill. Picking its self up, he looked up at two massive dragons of fire and ice.

"Hmm, interesting development." the ice one said, before lowering her head down to look the troll in the face. "You, troll. If you can retrieve the dragon baby those adventurers have, we can reward you beyond your wildest dreams..."

"...you give Trog donkey, whipped cream, chicken feathers, and young Puerto Rican boy?"

"....yeah, sure. Now go get that dragon baby!" the Fire dragon roared, throwing the troll back to the village.

 

[Ramthundar]

Dark Link and Andy swooped and dived, trying to avoid the poison being shot at him.
"You left! Your right! Gah, below you! DUCK! Dive! DO A BARREL RO-argh!"
Dark Link flew off as Andy halted abruptly, landing face first in a cart of hay. Jumping back out, he saw a large Troll carrying Andy away as he held Andy's mouth shut.
"Trog now get his prize! Hehe, here I come, Emmanuel my Puerto Rican Boy!"
"NOO! Don't take mah baby!" Dark Link cried, running after the Troll.

 

[SteakHeart]

Steakheart, who had taken about 3 hours to slither to the sound of dragons and trolls, finally approached the site. He noticed that some odd people needed help, and pulled out another Laser Cannon.

"Wait, couldn't I have used on that Multi-Kill guy? If I hadn't been thinking about lettuce, maybe."

Steak began to fire on the troll he saw, making it drop unconscious on the ground, dropping someone who was on it's shoulder. Hearing it's faint cries of, "NO! I WANTED PUERTO RICAN BOY!", he set his Cannon to "Emmanuel", and fired it next to the troll. The troll grabbed the confused boy, and the people who were formerly fighting turned and stared at him.

"Hello, earthlings! I come in peace! Well, I didn't a few minutes ago, but now that I've thought about it, I come in peace!"

 

[Pm0n3y]

The Witch-Doctor consumed most of his energy summoning the giant snake. Now he has no more tricks up his sleeve. The heroes surround him. Phil picked up the Witch-Doctor by the neck, and raised him above his head, while having an armblade at the Witch-Doctor's chest. Dark Link walks up to Phil and the doc.

"Who sent you?!" Dark Link said, hitting the Doc with the hilt of his claymore.
"Tell us now!"

"I ain't telling you shit." The doc said spitting at the heroes. Phil choke slams the Witch to the ground, hard enough to make cracks.

"You got 10 seconds to tell us your plans before i turn you into swiss cheese! Do you hear me ?!" Phil yells.

The Witch-Doctor laughs at The heroes' feeble attempt to interrogate him.

"Plu-lease, what do think you can do to me?"

"You're surrounded by two angels, a magical baby dragon, a ram that can conjure lightning, and a large assortment of various characters from games, movies, and tv shows. Don't make us get creative."

Not to far from the group, Nova and Aqua peek out from behind a house.

"It won't be long before they find out our plans." Nova said, in a solemn tone.

"Well, i think it's time we say hello to our friends, eh brother?" Aqua said, blowing up the building they were hiding behind.

The explosion gets the heroes' attention. They turn around to see two figures step from out of the dust and debris of the former building.

"Looking for us?" They say simultaneously.

 

[The_Chief]

"I THINK ITS LAZ0RING TIME! let me check my pocket sun-dial" lazor said, pulling a large sundial out of his non existant pocket. "ohhhyea... were..in..a cave..WELL IM GOING TO GUESSTIMATE ITS LAZ0RING TIME!"

"Laz0r, your going to get us sent to hell if they're preists, Thor barely forgave us last time" Phil contradicted

"hey hey hey, i know my priest scent, they all smell like candles and little boys." Laz0r said.

"...well then..." Phil said, taking one large step back.

Laz0r charged at the two people full speed and bit one of them in the ear, then, he magically caught on fire.

"OWW IT BURNS!!! PHIL PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT!!!"

Phil didnt put it out, and just let him cook until golden brown and delicious.

"ok lets try this again! LERRROOOYY JENKINNSSS!!!" laz0r screamed as he charged full force into the two, who were just standing there drinking tea and eating crumpets.

Spoiler: side note

i dont care if im completely wrong im trying to get back into this cut me some slack. also the two whatevers are british n ow.

but one of them just threw a baby rabbit over in the corner and Lazor chased after it.

 

[Ramthundar]

"D'aw crap, my 'deep shit' senses are tingling. We need to get back to that dragon!" Ram said.

"But how? We're in LA! Which means we're in a different time and place! It would be too late and too impossible to get to back in time!" Dark Link cried.

"Did someone say they needed to get to a place really really quickly, mon?" a tall Jamaican asked, wearing a yellow jump-suit with a large M in the middle.

"It's Mon-tage! Quick, we need to get to medieval Oblivion, stat!"

"No problem, mon! Bop-Bop!"

A minute later with the song "All Star" by Smashmouth playing in the background

"Okay, got here all right, but did you guys really needed to ride on my back the whole time? And why the HELL was that stupid song playing?!" Ram demanded, rubbing his sore back.

"HELP ME!" Andy cried, as the Red-Neck Hillbillies shot their electro-net guns and captured Andy.

"Hehe, dere's no use, you little meal-ticket! We's got ourselves the Orb of Negation to prevent any of your Devil Magic!" one of the Red-necks boasted, holding up a glowing orb.

"NOOO!" Dark Link cried, falling to his knees as the pick-up truck sped away.
"Stop being such drama queen and go after them!" Ram cried, racing after the truck.

 

[Pm0n3y]

"Dammit Emmy, enough with the fuckin sex jokes!!" Phil yells.

As the heroes and sugar filled Lazor neared the pickup, Dark Link picked up Ram and put him on Lazor.

"Why the hell weren't you chasing the car? You did adopt him y'know!" Ram said.

"Me? Run? Ha. I never run, i causally stroll! I would've gotten to the car...eventually." Dark Link answered.

All of a sudden the hillbillies open fire on the crew.

"I'll take care this." Phil said, jumping off Lazor and unsheathing his energy wings. He flies in front of Lazor, turning his arms into shields, to provide cover for the crew. Once the Hillbillies stop to reload, Phil throws his shields to disarm them. Then Dark Link pulls a light, ice blue crystal out of his hat. It's covered with icicles, and it covers D Link's hands with cold fog. He points it in the the trajectory of the car.

"THADEI'S FROST!!"

Tall, Thick icicles pop up from under the ground, impaling the car's chassis, stopping it dead in it's tracks. Andy's net rolls out of the pickup, and D Link catches him.

 

[Sam G]

"Oh... My... Fucking... God, you guys!" Livingness complained, collapsing to his knees and panting. "You couldn't have... Possibly... Made room on the flying laser dog for a couple of skinny anime teenagers?"
"Laser dogs are for bitches and you're a *****!" Death yelled, riding in on a decidedly bad-ass looking motorbike.
"Dude, where the hell... Did you get that?" Livingness asked, panting some more and passing out on the ground.
"The same place I got... This!" Death yelled, pulling a decidedly bad-ass looking gunblade out of his belt. "That is to say, I stole it from a mopey emo who was cutting himself because he was being stalked by one of the hottest chicks in video game history!"
He leveled the gunblade at Pyro and kicked the brake off the motorcycle. Then he charged!
"Watashi wa shinen! SHIENZOOOOOO!!!" Pyro yelled, spinning around rapidly and flicking his tail at Death. A little flashing letter "X" appeared above Death's head.
"Wait, what?" The tail slammed into Death and sent him flying into a cliff face. "God dammit, I pressed squaaaaaaare..." He yelled, flying off into the distance.

Spoiler: Fun fact!

Did you know Squall is the only character in Final Fantasy 8 who can accurately attack himself without missing?

 

[SteakHeart]

As the alien slg saw them teleport away, he thought to himself.

"God damnit, why do I always mess up?" He placed a tentacle-eye-thing to his communicator and told Command he'd lost the tergets.

"It's okay," they said, "We can get their signal soon."

"Thank you, Command. See you later." The slug slithered into a trash can to pre-meditate his rescue.