The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)
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"ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO JUST STOP AND STARE OR WHAT?" Ram cried, ramming one of the stormtroopers into a Mountie, and shocking them both.
"Seriously, we have CANADIANS to kill here! What could be more important then that!"
"Um, killing Multi's characters?" Phil said, arm still raised with Smooth Criminal's body still spluttering blood.
"Mhhhhkay, sounds good." Ram said, before charging a line of Imperial officers and their troopers.
"Seriously, we have CANADIANS to kill here! What could be more important then that!"
"Um, killing Multi's characters?" Phil said, arm still raised with Smooth Criminal's body still spluttering blood.
"Mhhhhkay, sounds good." Ram said, before charging a line of Imperial officers and their troopers.
"Do I!" Ram excitedly cried.
Suddenly, a large box fell from the sky, the impact cracking it open. It revealed a large room filled with weapons propped up in various displays.
"Sick and tired of using the same ole' weapons of doom? Not getting the usual screams of terrors from your enemies? Then it's time to come down too Ram's Mythical Weaponry!" Ram declared in his best sales-man voice, popping up in the room wearing a dark brown suit.
Ram first went up to a large case holding a pair of black handled whips. "Perhaps you'd like to try the Dual Whips of Wind! Able to catch, drag, cut, choke, AND whip! Not to mention you'll get that evil Slave-Driver look!"
"Or maybe," he continued, now going up to a large flaming battle-axe "You'd like to get medieval on some Hero asses? Get this baby now, and I'll throw in a hardy, portable battle shield for HALF OFF!!!"
"Or maybe you'd like to keep your distance, make sure to keep your fancy clothes blood-free." he said, indicating a large diamond encrusted bow. "This model will save you THOUSANDS in blood-removing detergent!"
Ram jumped back to the middle of the room, front hooves spread in a welcoming motion.
"So, what'll be?!"
Suddenly, a large box fell from the sky, the impact cracking it open. It revealed a large room filled with weapons propped up in various displays.
"Sick and tired of using the same ole' weapons of doom? Not getting the usual screams of terrors from your enemies? Then it's time to come down too Ram's Mythical Weaponry!" Ram declared in his best sales-man voice, popping up in the room wearing a dark brown suit.
Ram first went up to a large case holding a pair of black handled whips. "Perhaps you'd like to try the Dual Whips of Wind! Able to catch, drag, cut, choke, AND whip! Not to mention you'll get that evil Slave-Driver look!"
"Or maybe," he continued, now going up to a large flaming battle-axe "You'd like to get medieval on some Hero asses? Get this baby now, and I'll throw in a hardy, portable battle shield for HALF OFF!!!"
"Or maybe you'd like to keep your distance, make sure to keep your fancy clothes blood-free." he said, indicating a large diamond encrusted bow. "This model will save you THOUSANDS in blood-removing detergent!"
Ram jumped back to the middle of the room, front hooves spread in a welcoming motion.
"So, what'll be?!"
Slouch said:
I believe the intention was that Xandy-poo would choose his own weapon, rather than have someone else choose for him. This seems to somewhat cross the line that seperates "controlling someone's character" and "claiming someone's character as your own".
"Not so fast, Xandus! Or should I say, "Slouch"!" Samuel L. Jackson yelled, descending from heaven and punching Xandus in the face. Or rather, punching who we all thought was Xandus. His face made a weird splat noise and he reverted to his original form, that of an ugly blobfish.
"Curses! How did you know!?" the treacherous Slouch asked.
"There ain't nothing Samuel L. Muthafuckin' Jackson don't know!" Samuel L. clapped his hands together, and they both transformed into grenade launchers. "Aaw hell no! I have had it with these muthafuckin' blobfishes in this muthafuckin' multiverse!" He lowered his grenade-launcher hands at Slouch, and was all prepped to pull the trigger, when he stopped. "Naw, everyone deserves a second chance. Forgiveness, muthafucka!!!" And with that, he soared away into the skies, not to be seen again for some time.
"Not to worry, fellows! I'll save you!" Death declared. "ZA WARUDO!!!" Everything turned grey. The nukes stopped in mid-air. "Toki wo tomare," Death explained. He walked over to the nukes, plucked them out of the air and carried them away to a safe distance. Nobody noticed him doing this, as time had stopped. Death walked back to the playing field. He turned to the canadian army, reached into his pockets and pulled out some knives, which he threw at the troops. Being so that time had stopped, of course, the knives remained stationary in mid-air. For the time being...
Death wasn't done yet. He jumped into the sky, pulled a steamroller out of subspace and dropped it on some of the troops. Then he started punching it again and again until at last it exploded, taking out a fair number of canadians. To top it off, Death caused time to resume, sending the knives he had thrown flying into the canadians. "Wryyyy..."
Then he bowed. "Thankyou, thankyou. That was of course Dio Brando, undoubtably the best vampire ever featured in an anime. Yep, there's no other anime vampire quite like Dio!" Then he turned to the main characters. "Any requests? I can do a pretty good Owen Wilson..."
Death wasn't done yet. He jumped into the sky, pulled a steamroller out of subspace and dropped it on some of the troops. Then he started punching it again and again until at last it exploded, taking out a fair number of canadians. To top it off, Death caused time to resume, sending the knives he had thrown flying into the canadians. "Wryyyy..."
Then he bowed. "Thankyou, thankyou. That was of course Dio Brando, undoubtably the best vampire ever featured in an anime. Yep, there's no other anime vampire quite like Dio!" Then he turned to the main characters. "Any requests? I can do a pretty good Owen Wilson..."
Alucard pulled the hammer on his pistol to ready it. "Fuck Rio Grand or whatever you said, what about me!?" Alucard fired a few shots as angry exclamation points.
"Castlevania... isn't an anime... Is it? Cause that would be fucking awesome" Death said, a frown of confusion on his face. Alucard took out his wallet and opened it.
"My card," he said, handing the ID to Death.
"Card carrying member of the anime association..." Death looked up, confusion rippling through his face. His forehead was wrinkled in thought.
"So you're a fanboy. Alright." Death said. Alucard took out another card, handing it to Death.
"Official member of the badass club... Wait, isn't that and the fanboy thing an oxymoron?"
"Are you shitting me? I'm an anime character. From Hellsing." Alucard said.
"Well-" Death said, before Alucard interrupted with "Look it up!" and stormed off angrily into the battle. Death pulled a laptop from his invisible knapsack and Googled Hellsing. Nothing but crappily made Anime Music Videos popped up.
"GAAHFUCKHELPOHGODITBURNS!" yelled Xandus as Slouch used a small mirror to deflect force lightning into his face.
"Haha, no fried blobfish for you!" Slouch yelled as he held the small glasses lens. It slipped out of his stubby, slimy little hands but by then Xandus had stopped shooting in order to tend to his 7th degree burns.
"Guess he's more of a Jedi, the way he got shot in the face like Windu." Maddawg said, throwing a sword towards the crowd. "Shut up." Xandus said, bandaging his face.
"Castlevania... isn't an anime... Is it? Cause that would be fucking awesome" Death said, a frown of confusion on his face. Alucard took out his wallet and opened it.
"My card," he said, handing the ID to Death.
"Card carrying member of the anime association..." Death looked up, confusion rippling through his face. His forehead was wrinkled in thought.
"So you're a fanboy. Alright." Death said. Alucard took out another card, handing it to Death.
"Official member of the badass club... Wait, isn't that and the fanboy thing an oxymoron?"
"Are you shitting me? I'm an anime character. From Hellsing." Alucard said.
"Well-" Death said, before Alucard interrupted with "Look it up!" and stormed off angrily into the battle. Death pulled a laptop from his invisible knapsack and Googled Hellsing. Nothing but crappily made Anime Music Videos popped up.
"GAAHFUCKHELPOHGODITBURNS!" yelled Xandus as Slouch used a small mirror to deflect force lightning into his face.
"Haha, no fried blobfish for you!" Slouch yelled as he held the small glasses lens. It slipped out of his stubby, slimy little hands but by then Xandus had stopped shooting in order to tend to his 7th degree burns.
"Guess he's more of a Jedi, the way he got shot in the face like Windu." Maddawg said, throwing a sword towards the crowd. "Shut up." Xandus said, bandaging his face.
"...And then I said, "Revolver Jesus? You needs to get yourself a haircut". And you know what he says to me? He says, "Bless you, my son", and then he shoots a hole through my chest!"
"Ugh, that is so like him," Gerard Way replied to Billy-Joe Armstrong after that nonsensical monologue. Both rockers had been travelling along the subspace superhighway for roughly 90 minutes, but the altered flow of time had made it feel more like a hundred thousand years. "Hey, you know Braniac?"
"The evil robot who masterminded the downfall of the kryptonians? What about him?" Billy-Joe perked his ears up to listen to this new story.
"Yeah, well, this one time I was reading this Twilight Zone/Star Trek crossover fanfic, and I was like "wow, this is really good!" and so I e-mailed it to him, and you know what? He never replied! I never heard from him since!"
"Wow, that's a really sad story..." Billy-Joe brushed a tear from his eye.
"Yeah, I liked that guy..." G-Way turned his head and spotted someone he recognized. "Hey, look, it's Livingness the Youth! We must have missed the turning and wound up in Hell!"
"Hey, Gerard Way!" Livingness waved. "How've you been? Written any more graphic novels?"
"No, actually, I'm right in the middle of one as we speak! It's about a ninja monkey, a space robot and a zombie pirate who share a flat... Anyway, what's up with you?"
"Oh, I'm plotting to overthrow Hell and become the new ruler of the underworld!" Livingness grinned a grin that anyone who'd had prolonged exposure to him previously would recognize. "Want to help out?"
"Yeah, why the hell not? 'S not like we're ever going back to the realm of the living!" G-Way and Livingness shook hands. "How 'bout you, Billy-Joe?"
"Nah, I'm gonna try and find a way back to the AA multiverse and see if they need a new badass anti-hero..." Billy-Joe Armstrong yawned and began walking off towards the Fire Pits of Hades.
"Well, good luck with that!" Livingness waved at his new friend, then got back to erecting an army to rival that of Satan himself.
"Ugh, that is so like him," Gerard Way replied to Billy-Joe Armstrong after that nonsensical monologue. Both rockers had been travelling along the subspace superhighway for roughly 90 minutes, but the altered flow of time had made it feel more like a hundred thousand years. "Hey, you know Braniac?"
"The evil robot who masterminded the downfall of the kryptonians? What about him?" Billy-Joe perked his ears up to listen to this new story.
"Yeah, well, this one time I was reading this Twilight Zone/Star Trek crossover fanfic, and I was like "wow, this is really good!" and so I e-mailed it to him, and you know what? He never replied! I never heard from him since!"
"Wow, that's a really sad story..." Billy-Joe brushed a tear from his eye.
"Yeah, I liked that guy..." G-Way turned his head and spotted someone he recognized. "Hey, look, it's Livingness the Youth! We must have missed the turning and wound up in Hell!"
"Hey, Gerard Way!" Livingness waved. "How've you been? Written any more graphic novels?"
"No, actually, I'm right in the middle of one as we speak! It's about a ninja monkey, a space robot and a zombie pirate who share a flat... Anyway, what's up with you?"
"Oh, I'm plotting to overthrow Hell and become the new ruler of the underworld!" Livingness grinned a grin that anyone who'd had prolonged exposure to him previously would recognize. "Want to help out?"
"Yeah, why the hell not? 'S not like we're ever going back to the realm of the living!" G-Way and Livingness shook hands. "How 'bout you, Billy-Joe?"
"Nah, I'm gonna try and find a way back to the AA multiverse and see if they need a new badass anti-hero..." Billy-Joe Armstrong yawned and began walking off towards the Fire Pits of Hades.
"Well, good luck with that!" Livingness waved at his new friend, then got back to erecting an army to rival that of Satan himself.
"A duel? Well, I guess." Alucard said, yawning. "Guess it would kill some time."
"Alright then! We'll start the first round in tiger-mechs, then the army battle, and then the volcano mace-fencing. Any objections?" Darth Xandus said, polishing his AA-12 and producing a mace out of his ass.
"Yes. First of all, where the fuck do I get a tiger mech, second of all, I don't have an army, and third of all, I don't have a mace and there're no volcanos for, what, 300 miles or so? I mean, the only one of those I do have his the army, which would be bats, but even then I'd have to blow half my goddamn body off." Alucard said, now pointing his pistol at his lower-body. "Not that I wouldn't do that, but it's just impractical." Xandus scoffed.
"Well, if you wanna do the less awesome version of a duel, fine. What'll it be?" After this, Alucard paused to think a moment. He was no good with a sword, outgunned by Xandus' AA-12,and other than that there were no other duel options. Alucard heard his phone ring. He reached into his overcoat pocket and checked who the caller was.
"Satan. Unhappy with the soul I gave you?" Alucard said bitterly.
"HOLYFUCKINGSHIT!ISTHATA... OHGODOHGODSHITSHITSHIT! Ally! Need some help down here! FUCK, I'M HIT! It's an entire army! I don't stand a chance! HEEEEELP!" Satan screamed into his phone.
"How do you even get bars down there?" Alucard joked, not caring what was happening in Hell.
"Just get here man! OH F-" the line died.
"So, your choice for the duel, Xandus. What's it gonna be?"
"Alright then! We'll start the first round in tiger-mechs, then the army battle, and then the volcano mace-fencing. Any objections?" Darth Xandus said, polishing his AA-12 and producing a mace out of his ass.
"Yes. First of all, where the fuck do I get a tiger mech, second of all, I don't have an army, and third of all, I don't have a mace and there're no volcanos for, what, 300 miles or so? I mean, the only one of those I do have his the army, which would be bats, but even then I'd have to blow half my goddamn body off." Alucard said, now pointing his pistol at his lower-body. "Not that I wouldn't do that, but it's just impractical." Xandus scoffed.
"Well, if you wanna do the less awesome version of a duel, fine. What'll it be?" After this, Alucard paused to think a moment. He was no good with a sword, outgunned by Xandus' AA-12,and other than that there were no other duel options. Alucard heard his phone ring. He reached into his overcoat pocket and checked who the caller was.
"Satan. Unhappy with the soul I gave you?" Alucard said bitterly.
"HOLYFUCKINGSHIT!ISTHATA... OHGODOHGODSHITSHITSHIT! Ally! Need some help down here! FUCK, I'M HIT! It's an entire army! I don't stand a chance! HEEEEELP!" Satan screamed into his phone.
"How do you even get bars down there?" Alucard joked, not caring what was happening in Hell.
"Just get here man! OH F-" the line died.
"So, your choice for the duel, Xandus. What's it gonna be?"
"Jeez, kind of getting tired fighting these Canadians" Ram said with a tired sight, ducking under a laser blast from one of the Power-Armored shot from his high-tech musket.
"Because they are causing massive destruction and death where-ever they go?" Rag asked, slicing several storm-troopers in half.
"Nah, cause it's just getting boooring. Seriously, Canadians? I need a real challenge!" Ram continued saying, bashing two officer's heads together.
"Well, you remember that Livingness guy?"
Ram got a vague memory of some smiling idiot with an emo-looking idiot.
"Hmmm, you mean the guy that is always making me laugh with his and his relative's hilarious antics?"
"Apparently he's trying to take over Hell."
"WHAT! We can't be having that sort of thing! Satan was put in charge in Hell so WE could make sure all that good/evil, ying/yang, cheese/crackers stuff can stay balanced! We (as in you and me) need to stop them!"
Ram tried to head to the nearest portal he knew of, but was stopped by several large maple-mechs.
"Damn! There's to many of these Canadians in our way! How the 'ell are we supposed to get through them all to get to Hell?"
Suddenly, a large Black Hole opened up in the sky above them, a massive space ship speeding through it. It crashed in the middle of the battle field, killing several dozen HUNDRED Canadian troopers while sending the rest flying.
"Yay for convenient coincidences! Now on to Hell!"
And what shall our heroes discover as they make their descent to Hell? What sort of army has Livingness raised to battle the vary Evils of Everything?
Find out next time on [HEADING=1]AVATAR ADVENTURES![/HEADING]
"Because they are causing massive destruction and death where-ever they go?" Rag asked, slicing several storm-troopers in half.
"Nah, cause it's just getting boooring. Seriously, Canadians? I need a real challenge!" Ram continued saying, bashing two officer's heads together.
"Well, you remember that Livingness guy?"
Ram got a vague memory of some smiling idiot with an emo-looking idiot.
"Hmmm, you mean the guy that is always making me laugh with his and his relative's hilarious antics?"
"Apparently he's trying to take over Hell."
"WHAT! We can't be having that sort of thing! Satan was put in charge in Hell so WE could make sure all that good/evil, ying/yang, cheese/crackers stuff can stay balanced! We (as in you and me) need to stop them!"
Ram tried to head to the nearest portal he knew of, but was stopped by several large maple-mechs.
"Damn! There's to many of these Canadians in our way! How the 'ell are we supposed to get through them all to get to Hell?"
Suddenly, a large Black Hole opened up in the sky above them, a massive space ship speeding through it. It crashed in the middle of the battle field, killing several dozen HUNDRED Canadian troopers while sending the rest flying.
"Yay for convenient coincidences! Now on to Hell!"
And what shall our heroes discover as they make their descent to Hell? What sort of army has Livingness raised to battle the vary Evils of Everything?
Find out next time on [HEADING=1]AVATAR ADVENTURES![/HEADING]
Sorry if I dragged you in our midst earlier then you would of liked, Techno. But one thing you learn quick in the AA is to be prepared for ANYTHING! Even pickled herring.
*Eyes slowly wander to the lonely grave sitting on top of the hill, an old oak the only living creature that will give company to the resting soul*
Always be prepared...for the pickled herring. *tear sliding down cheek*
*Eyes slowly wander to the lonely grave sitting on top of the hill, an old oak the only living creature that will give company to the resting soul*
Always be prepared...for the pickled herring. *tear sliding down cheek*