The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[Sam G]

Spoiler

Is it just me or would Avatar Adventure make a good web series?

Spoiler: OOC

You know there was actually a web-comic in production, but it just sort of fizzled out into nothingness?

Death's phone rang. "Hello?"
"Death, buddy! How's things?"
"OMG, Livingness? How are you calling me? I saw you die!"
"Maybe I'm a ghoooost..."
Death pondered over this for a moment. "Maybe... Maybe. I've yet to meet anyone who can outsmart bullet."
"Yeah, you know what, me neither! Keep looking though, there's probably somebody out there... Anyway, the reason I called is because I'm plotting to overthrow Satan, so I'm calling everybody I know who's dead to get them to help out. Unfortunately, I could only think of, like, three people, so I was wondering if you know anybody else...?"
"Have you tried Orgazmo?"
"Yep. He was too busy vigorously masturbating, he said."
"Hmm... Have you tried that talking shark who only posted like once and then Multi-Kill killed him off?"
"Nah, just thinking about him makes me want to vomit."
"Okay, you know what, I'll see if I can make my way down there and help you out myself! How's that sound?"
"Oh, that'll be great! We can have sleepovers and paint each others' nails and murder peasants just like old times!"
"Great, then I'll be right there!" Death hung up the phone. He wandered off to a clean patch of land, flicked on his lighter and punched the ground, causing a flaming star to appear. He jumped up and down on it until it caved in and sent him flying to the depths of Hell. "Wheeeee..."

 

[Sam G]

"Not so fast, bitches!" Zombie Musashi yelled. He dived at Xandus, who narrowly ducked to avoid being chopped up into little bits. Zombie Musashi then slashed a line along the ground with his sword, which ignited with a towering wall of holy flame. Xandus was stuck on one side of the wall, and Zombie Musashi was trapped on the other along with the Mountie Troopers. "Pop quiz, men: How many power-armour-clad mounties does it take to irritate a trained zombie-samurai? The answer," He said while drawing his swords, "Is a hundred and one." Xandus could only watch as Zombie Musashi decimated his troops. He had no choice other than to press on without them.

 

[lwm3398]

"Fuck. Now I have to go help Satan." Alucard said, walking towards the portal. It was rapidly shrinking, and by the time he reached it, it was about the size of a pea.
"Oh, bother." he said, shooting off his hand. The blood quickly became a bat which, after forming, promptly starting biting the hell out of Alucard. The flesh ripped off was spit out, and it became more bats which bit more flesh and blood. Soon, there was just a whole lot of bats. They all turned into blood and drained into the wormhole, which shut with just a few drops left behind it. Alucard reformed in Hell with a lack of eyebrows. Checking his reflection in his glasses, he noticed this.
"Crap..." he said, putting on his glasses and adjusting them to cover the embarrassment.
The surroundings seemed normal; void, with the occasional stalagmite or stalactite. The air had an orange glow and a sulfurous smell. It wasn't hot, but it was warm, dryly so, as if you had a sweater on at all times. Nothing much was strange, except the large mushroom cloud that was the war.
"GET OFF MY DAMN LEG!" yelled Xandus, punting an imp off his ankle, somehow, with the foot it was attached to. It went flying and landed in a small lava pool, it's high-pitched, much too high for anyone else's ears, agitated Alucard. It was fun to have a wolf-form, but the ears sucked. Ram and Rag were valiantly tag-teaming Livingness' soldiers. Slice, shock, kick, slice, shock, kick. Soldiers were dropping like flies.
"Hell yeah! This is a challenge! This is fun!" Ram yelled, kicking a soldier up the chin. Rag threw a shuriken towards a heavier soldier and missed.
"Whole lot of the things, aren't there!?" he said. "It's like a swarm!"
The several remaining foot mounties took shots by the dozens and were killed almost instantly.
"Onwards, men! The empire will not be defeated!" Darth Xandus yelled, shooting his AA randomly into the crowd. He was thinking about just taping the trigger down.
Death stood by on the sidelines, not sure if he should help the heros or Livingness.

 

[lwm3398]

Spoiler

"Not so fast, bitches!" Zombie Musashi yelled. He dived at Xandus, who narrowly ducked to avoid being chopped up into little bits. Zombie Musashi then slashed a line along the ground with his sword, which ignited with a towering wall of holy flame. Xandus was stuck on one side of the wall, and Zombie Musashi was trapped on the other along with the Mountie Troopers. "Pop quiz, men: How many power-armour-clad mounties does it take to irritate a trained zombie-samurai? The answer," He said while drawing his swords, "Is a hundred and one." Xandus could only watch as Zombie Musashi decimated his troops. He had no choice other than to press on without them.

In hindsight, I probably should have reserved. We'll just pretend several escaped, as that's the number alive in my post.

 

[Randoms]

A huge flash of light appeared and a mystical orb hurtled towards Xandus, an aura of power surrounding it .Xandus picks up the orb and whispers, "Maybe this could help with the fight agains Mushashi."

p.s. I don't know how to make spoilers so ill just say it
(I'm the orb, look at my avatar for a hint of what the orb does.)

 

[Ramthundar]

Ram jumped out of the space ship, grumbling all the way. "Thor's sake, you take ONE second out of hell to have a smoke break, and some crazy-ass fish thing throws you at a crashed space ship!"

Ram shook of the shards, looking back up at the ship. "HEY!" he shouted," if you guys would like to earn some brownie points in this universe, why don't you help me save Hell?"

 

[doopdoopdoopdoop]

doop doop doop doop doop

 

[Shapsters]

Suddenly, seemingly out of thin air, a cat appeared. Helmet as shiny as Egyptian gold and fur as white, and soft as a cloud. A ray of light shone down upon him from the sky, seemingly created by the gods just for the sake of bringing attention to this beautiful creature,

"Sup bitches" muttered Master Kitty, "Guess who needs a recap?"

 

[Sam G]

The stage was set. Lucifer, Beelzebub and Ozzie Osbourne were squaring off against Death, Livingness and G-Way.
"For plot advancement!" Death yelled, leapt at Lucifer and started hacking him up with his gunblade.
"For I had nothing better to do!" Livingness cried, sprinted towards Beelzebub and smacking him around the face with a heavy padlock.
"For... Actually, I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing here..." Gerard wondered.
"SMASH SHIT UP!!!" Ozzie suggested, and engaged him wielding an electric guitar.

 

[ajb924]

"Where exactly do we fit into this?" Sho asked
"Uhhhhh.... We could try to take over hell?" Grimm asked
"No... That would be copying Xandus... I got it!" Sho said a lightbulb appearing over his head.
"Was that necessary?" Grimm asked.
"How else would you know I had an idea!?" Sho asked. "We help Death and Livingness beat Satan and then betray them and take over hell!"
"Meh, better than what we've been doing the past 10 pages..." MK mumbled.
"Where the hell have you been!?" Grimm yelled toward MK
"Uhhh... Here?" Mk said hopefully.
"I don't want to get hit so I'll bite..." Grimm mumbled.
"Alright! So it's settled! We help death kill Satan and Xandus!" Sho said.

Spoiler: Alright

If the villains and Xandus are on the same side let me know and I'll edit the post.

 

[lwm3398]

Spoiler

This is insane! Just saying...

Ram re-entered Hell, stomping out his cigarette.
"Hey guys, what'd I miss?" he said, checking out his surroundings.
"Well," said Phil, killing a few soldiers. "Sho's back, and Grimm as well, Xandus is trying to take over Hell, Livingness, Death, and G-way are taking on several incarnations of Satan, and that's about it."
The carnage was ridiculous. Bodies littered the ground like discarded wrapping paper on Christmas morning.
"Sweet merciful... We need some order here!" Alucard yelled, though no one payed much attention. "Or not. To war!"
The vampire leaped into the thicket of it, unloading bullets into several soldiers. Their white armor made them look like human-shaped cheese.
"Alright, bitches, let's get something done!" he said, loudly, pulling both triggers of his silver and black guns.

***​

Captain Kirk watched as Scotty was brought through a portal.
"Spock! Spock, wake up!" Kirk said, toweling his crap-covered face off.
"HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME!? I'M THE ONE TRAPPED UNDER RUBBLE!" Sulu exclaimed, trying desperately to get the metal off himself.
"Come on, Spock! He's carried of Scotty!"
"Errr... Kli... Klingon sh-sh-ships... at 12..."
Kirk kicked his Vulcan friend in the gut, which made him sit up straight as a ruler. He stood up.
"What in the hell was that for!?" he spat, wiping himself off on another towel.
"He carried off Scotty, Spock! We need to follow them!"
"IF ONE OF THE MOTHERS DOESN'T GET THIS GODDAMN METAL OFF ME, SO HELP ME GOD I WILL RIP OUT YOUR THROATS!"
The two of them helped Sulu up and ran to the portal.
"The ram took him through here." Kirk explained.
"Ram? What kind of Universe is this?" Spock asked with a strange look on his face.
"Wherever we are, there's fun to be had!" Kirk said, jumping in.
Sulu and Spock exchanged worried glances, then jumped in the portal.

 

[Ramthundar]

"Don't worry Satan!I'll save you!" Ram cried, preparing to jump but stopping when he felt a wait on his back.
"Who the Thor's Pits is this?" he demanded, a drunken Scottish man sliding off of him.
"Why did I bring this guy with me?...and why do I feel like something small and ishy is on my head?"

Ram reached up and dragged off a small, squishy Slouch-fish.
"OY! Quit riding on my charact-I mean, body! Find your own to control!" he told it before tossing it aside.

"FOR HELLLLL!" was his cry as he entered the fray, trying to protect Satan from Livingness' onslaught.

 

[lwm3398]

Death stood, covering Livingness as he wrestled (In an incredibly non-gay way) for the throne of Hell. Ram came straight up and crashed into Death's chest, sending a few volts into his body. Well, a few is an understatement, but you get the point. Ram grabbed Livingness by the collar. When Ram opened his mouth to say something, Xandus rode in on his horse, catching Ram by the horns.
"Hey! Let go of my horns!"
"You let go of my sword!" Xandus shrieked. This was partly because he was trying to get an animal off of his sword and partly because Ram sent a shock from his horns, which traveled down the metal and got, inevitably, to Xandus. Death had recovered and was now slashing at Satan.
"Need a little help?" Sho said as he jumped towards Ram, ripping him off the sword.
"Heeeey, you guys are back! Wanna help me kill Death and Livingness to overthrow Satan so I can rule Hell?"
"Yes." Grimm said, fighting off a few of Livingness' onslaught of soldiers. Sho snatched the AA-12 from Xandus.
"Die, bitches!" He yelled as he put a whole lot of bullets into a whole lot of soldiers.
"There he is!" exclaimed Captain Kirk as his eyes came upon Scotty. Laser-pistol shots rang out as Kirk and the gang made their way to the unconscious mechanic.
"Scotty, oh Scotty! You gotta wake up man! We couldn't do anything without you! Plus, if you die, I have to be the mechanic, and I don't do work."
"Melodrama, much?" Scotty said, waking up.
"Where the bloody hell are we?"
Spock did some writing on a clipboard.
"By my calculations, we're somebody's LSD hallucinations." Spock said, looking triumphant as if he had answered some big, important question.
"Well, I say we side with..." Kirk said, surveying the crowd.
"That guy. And his team." he said, pointing a finger towards a monkey throwing knives at soldiers.

***​

Alucard licked the blood off his fingers. Nothing like a fresh kill just ripped apart, he thought. AB positive, a rare delicacy to a vampire. Not like that O crap. You could get that anywhere. He drew his gun and resumed firing at the white soldiers. He narrowly missed a human who was actually not in the armor.
"Who's this?" the vampire said, ambling on towards him. He walked silently and then tapped the man on the shoulder.
"Hello." he said. This earned him a hard punch in the face. The blood spattered returned to Alucard's face. His goggles tilted,and you could clearly see he did not have eyebrows. Adjusting them haphazardly, he had forgotten all about the missing blood.
"Oh. Sorry mate. Aren't you with Xandus?" Phil said, for that was who it was.
"I'm just here for target practice, really. You with the Ram?" Alucard replied.
"Er, yes... Um, what's with your eyebrows? Someone hit you with a flamethrower?"
Shit! the vampire thought. Eyebrows! He raised his glasses a small bit to cover it.
"Uhm... No, just a little mayhem with my blood-reforming." Alucard quickly changed the subject, and he changed it to 'Goodbye' and walked away. A new swarm of soldiers was dropped by a gunship. Alucard leapt into action, shooting as he ran. He crunched one man's head in with the butt of his gun, spun it, and put a bullet through another's visor. He slunked down to the ground and concentrated. He exploded in a blast of blood. He reformed as a many-eyed wolf.

"This," he thought "Will be fun."

 

[ajb924]

"This is odd..." Grimm mumbled trying to fend off Ram while livingness attcked Satan.
"How so?" Sho asked stealing Scotty's booze.
"OY! Gimme me whisky!" Acotty said
"FUCK YOU! Where else can I find alcohol in hell!?" Sho asked
"Okay then..." Grimm mumbled "It's odd because the heroes are fighting for satan!" Grimm said.
"Yea, usually that would be us... But it's gonna be awespme when we controll hell! We could controll an undead army!" Sho said grinning.
Wait, shouldn't someone else be here?" Grimm asked
"Like who?" Sho asked lighting Scotty on fire.
"Like-" Grimm began when a roar cut him off.
"Look!" Sho said pointing to a group af dinosaurs "They went to hell when they died!" Sho said running over to them and jumping on a ptereodacyl's back. He used noise to conroll it and flew around on its back shooting the heroes. "Come on Grimm grab one!"
"I don't think I will..." Grimm mumbled.
"Pussy!" MK said and clawed Grimms face with a velocorapter before charging at the heroes with it.