"Owwww....!" Grimm said...
"How about i hit you..."? Grimm said angrily...
He then pulled out another pair... and put them on.
"What now"? He said laughing.
"What are you doing." Said Lazor to Maddawg who was apparently scribbiling on a peice of paper.
"I'm trying to get us out of here. let's see.......carry the 2.....divide by 5236......multiply by the size of Samii's ass." Said Maddawg
"Why do you need to know the size of Samii's ass?" Replied Lazor looking over his shoulder to see what he was writing.
"Becuase you guys don't want her to get stuck in this next portal."
"Why do you want to leave? This place is awsome!" Said Master Kitty who was doing back flips and sumersaults.
"Becuase this place is the USG Isihmura. Better known as "The Locust planet killing ship that lost contact with Earth." I sent this baby out to crack everyplanet in half in hopes of finding rare materials for new weapons."
"Okay so........What happened to the crew?"
"Do you wanna see the video transmisson I found on the way over here?"
"By the looks of it the crew was a bunch of idiot. But they were non union and they worked for cheap." Said Maddawg.
"Well damn... What are those other things.."? He hit Maddawg in the gut..
"What the hell"?! Maddawg yelled..
"No reason"! He yelled...
He started walking around...
"Now what, I mean im stuck with some weirdos.. On a big-ass ship.. With lots, and lots of dead people.. And who know what else"!
"So what are we gonna do about those "things", o fearless leader?" said Sho sarcastically, turning towards Ram.
"For one thing, i hope we don't see one of those baby heads with the tentacles. said Philip fearfully.
"Seriously, if one of those things take over my body, can someone mutilate it in the most vicious way possible?. I'd appreciate it."
"Statement: It'll be my pleasure, Meatbag" Said HK gleefully.
"I can feel the black-hole around here somewhere..." Ragnorak muttered, keeping a wary eye out for those head-ripping monsters.
"Well will you hurry the hell up? I think I may have hea-THOR'S CLAP!"
"What did you do that for?" Ragnorak asked, looking at the grate still shaking from the electric blast.
"Thought I saw something...." Ram muttered in embarrassment.
"Well, don't worry your pretty little horns, I'm starting to locate the black-hole som-"
"THOR'S CLAP!"
"..."
"I swear to Thor something was there!"
"Well, now it's all gone, okay? So, as I was saying, the-"
"THOR'S CLAP!"
"Ram, please, there is nothing-"
"THOR'S CLAP!!"
"Ram, will you cut it-"
"THOR'S CLAP!!!"
"RAM, STOP!" Ragnorak cried, clamping Ram's mouth shut.
The group, still floating in the air, watched as electricity arched throughout the walls, floors, and ceilings.
"Wait, what about the guys that are touching the walls with Gravity Boo-EEEAAAHH!"
Grimm and Master Kitty went into convulsive shocks from touching the walls, short-circuiting their boots and sending them floating again.
Allright, fuck it. I really don't feel like reading all those pages. So I tried to read some, but I stopped. So now there's 18 pages I have not read. I did read the last five so I have a somewhat clue on what is going on.
"For crying out loud!" The Apprentice looked at the Zombie Electrician. "What is it Master?" Zombie Electrician returned the gaze. "Where the hell are they? I need my revenge! Why, og why are they traveling all over the damn world?"
"Well, they are heroes after all. There's bound to be other villains chasing them"
"You think so?" Zombie Electrician asked his apprentice
"Why of course, sir. It's like thinking that you're the only one jerking of to Elisha Cuthbert. She's profiled, and attractive - same with the heroes"
"Fine" Zombie Electrician replied "Time to have a meal." And with that he pulled out a table, two chairs, an oven, a kitchen counter, a refrigerator, a diesel generator and a couple of cans with diesel. As he was starting to pour the diesel in the generator's containment tank his apprenticed asked him "How on earth do you fit all that in your tinybackpack?"
"Simon the scorcerer, my apprentice" Zombie Electrician answered.
"But he has it only in the fantasy world .."
"Never underestimate the power of electricity, kid."
"Mind telling me exactly how that helped you?" the apprentice said while grabbing sausages from the refrigerator. As Zombie Electrician started the diesel generator, he yelled at the top pf his lungs "Just connect + and - from a car battery, and you'll electrocute the fantasy molecules into real ones"
"And then you went out of the fantasy, to reclaim the hat ..." the Apprentice concluded.
"Correct. Now let's eat before we continue our hunt for revenge"
The group of manly manliness (And Grimm and Samii) left the Zero G room and began exploring the ship looking for the black hole. Grimm and MK were still recovering from there electric shock.
"Aww poor kitty." Said Samii tossing MK up onto her back.
"Don't I get a piggy back ride?" Said Grimm before being punched in the gut by Maddawg.
"What was that for?" Said Grimm wincing in pain.
"Oh no Reason."
"Shhhh." Said Ragnorak."Listen."
The entire group stood still for a few seconds and heard the faint gurgiling of somthing. Suddenly a necromorp broke through the nearby door and screaming at the top of it's lungs.
"I'll take care of this" Said Maddawg taking out his Chainsaw. He dodged it's attacks and cut off his legs and right arm. Before walking away from the rest of it. Suddenly he heard gurgling sounds coming from behind him. He turned around to see the Necromorph regrowing it's Limbs.
"Well if that's not a perfect example of godmodding then I don't know what is!" Said Maddawg backing away from it.
The group ran from the creature and ended up in what seemed to an Escape pod room.
"Alright everyone inside. There is a cyrogenic chamber in there that will keep you alive while we head back to Earth." Said Maddawg jumping to a computer and inputing coordinates.
"But there are only eleven pods and there are at least 17 of us." Said Xandus.
"Ya but you forget. A lot of people have stopped posting." Said Maddawg picking up Huey and throwing him into a room titled AA Forgotten Characters.
"But that leaves twelve of us." Said Ram trying to push Samii into the Pod.
"I know I won't be coming with you guys." Said Maddawg grabbing Ram and throwing him into a pod.
"WHAT!" Said Sho leaning out of his Pod.
"Look somone needs to input the Coordinates. I'm the only one who knows them so I will stay here and fight that thing." Said Maddawg pointing to the door. He walked over to Grimm who was standing at his pod."Remeber Grimm your the man of the house now."
"Really?!?" Said Grimm excitedly.
"No not really..." Said Maddawg kicking him into the Pod.
The pods closed and a computer voice over the intercom said "Escape pods cannot be stopped by this point."
"Goodbye nitwits." Said Maddawg as the pods left the ship. He picked up his Chainsaw turned toward the door and watched as the necromorph banged on it.
When it finnally broke through Maddawg ran at it at full speed and Collided with the Beast.
So ya I pretty much dropped a bomb right there. No doubt you're all shocked that I even killed Maddawg but I needed to free up space for my next character.
The pods went flying when Maddawg crashed in with the godmodding enemy. Maddawg grabbed it's arm, and threw it into the wall, then started revving his chainsaw. "You're going to die here tonight, necromorph". Maddawg wandered closer to the necromorph, but he stood back up, throwing a fist at Maddawg. it was evaded, although not too graceously by Maddawg. He managed to chop of the necromorph's arm while evading, and preseded to cut off the other arm. Unfortainly Maddawg wasn't quick enough, and recieved a Glascow kiss from the necromorph. With Maddawg tumbling backwards, the necromorph regrew his arm, and grabbed one of Maddawg's arms to throw him into the wall. Maddawg got back up with his chainsaw ready, dived one of the necromorph's punches before he sawed off it's leg. Maddawg being left open for upper attacks because of him attacking the necromorph lower, got grabbed by his enemy and tossed through the room. As Maddawg got up, the necromorph regrew his leg.
"Oh You're gonna get it now!" Maddawg charged at the necromorph, whit his chainsaw raised. He sawed of one of the arms, while evading the other arm trying to punch him. He then slid down next to his leg avoiding a kick. Maddawg had the open spot to chop of one of the necromorph's legs, making him fall to the ground due to the small amounts of limbs. As he was lying there, Maddawg sawed of it's head.
The necromorph lying dead on the ground, Maddawg put down his chainsaw, while watching the pods go further and further away. He sighed, laid a hand on his chainsaw and looked over at the necromorph. It had a total amount of limbs and head. And it's eyes opened ones again.
[HEADING=3]Meanwhile on earth[/HEADING]
"[color=3F0548]Very well! We are now enough clones ones again![/color]"
"[color=3F0548]Where are the other clones? I mean I'm Daye.10^9[/color]"
"[color=3F0548]Master Kitty.[/color]" Daye.11^9 said. "[color=3F0548]He took our entire population to Mars, before leaving all of them there with no means of transportation. He himself went back to earth for god knows what reason. Luckily he didn't take our cloning facility. Now we're going to kick some heroes' ass![/color]"
"[color=3F0548]Wait. Can't we be on the heroes' side? That ought to be a lot easier[/color]"
[color=FF0000]Smack![/color] "[color=3F0548]Anyone else have any good ideas?[/color]"
Non answered, and the Dayes started walking
"NOOO MADDAWG! NOOO!!" Ram cried, pounding on the glass door of the escape pod.
"DON'T DO IT! WE NEED YOooo....*Sounds of a tree being shred apart by a rusted chainsaw."
As Ram and the crew slept, the escape pods left the ship USG Isihmura and began their slow decent to Earth...
California, Earth
Evacuation Pod Now Opening.
"No Momma Ram, I don't want another tulip. I wanna my tin can...."
The glass door to the pod opened, and the slumped body of Ram toppled out.
"OUCH! Fine Momma, I'll eat the damn tulips, just stopping beating.....me?"
Ram got up, and started at the bleak landscape. Past the small crater his escape pod made, the landscape was bleak and barren. The only objects that gave any scenery were the skeletons of trees, charred black by some unknown force.
Climbing a nearby hill to get a better look, Ram came on top of it to find a horrid sight:
A giant theme park, it complete ruins. Roller coasters tipped over, their once bright metal now rusted over. Gift shops broken, their once valued wares strewn across the street like forgotten forgotten confetti.
And near the front of it was a large sign, torn in half.
[HEADING=2]ney Land[/HEADING]
[HEADING=3]Earth![/HEADING]
and under it, on a small white poster, Under new Management
"By Thor...what happened..." Ram whispered. From the area of the escape pod, he heard it's feminine computer voice cry out: Time Since Last Open: 100 Years, 20 days, 11 hours, and 12 minutes ago
[HEADING=1]Dun-DUN-DUNNNNN!!![/HEADING]
Ram looked around, clearing his throat.
"Kind of odd, when you do it by yourself."
In the distance another Evac pod bursts open. Out of it steps Philip. His surroundings confuse him. It seems that he landed in some forest, the trees either chopped down or burnt to a crisp. what remains of the wildlife is either dead corpses or charred skeleton structures. Not to far ahead he sees a broken down facility, resembling a broken down amusement park. A[HEADING=1]Dun-DUN-DUNNNNN!!![/HEADING] Comes from that direction. Philip runs towards the amusement park and finds Ram standing in front of the entrance, his Evac pod not too far behind him.
"Ram! thank God you're alive! Where is everybody? Where the hell are we?" philip asked
Ram's Evac pod spoke up: "Time Since Last Open: 100 Years, 20 days, 11 hours, and 12 minutes ago" it said, this time slightly irritated. "Please don't make me repeat myself." the onboard computer said. "I hate repeating myself"
"Sorry for being concerned about where i am" Philip apologized.
"What do ya got down there." Said a Krogan approaching his Asari squadmate.
"Looks like at least 11.Possibly more somwhere. And get this one of them is a Ram." Said the Asari while targeting the group down her scope.
"Impossible. Ram's were completey wiped out within two weeks of our occupation."
"Well then look for your self." Said the Asari handing the Krogan the sniper.
The Krogan looked down the scope and saw the group for himself. "Hmmm. I stand corrected. So should we kill or tell Draxx?"
"You know how he works. We bug them and then Inform Draxx before coming back and killing them. Honestly it's like your still a Rook." said the Asari handing her partner the tracker.
"Aww can't I just kill one of them?"
"Fine but you know your not gonna be able to get the tracker off."
"Fine with me. Oooooh a new guy just showed up. He looks so happy to."
MEANWHILE!
"HEY GUYS!" Said Gordon Frohman coming out of his hiding hole. "Where have you guys been? There has been some crazy ass shit, they even destroyed city 17!"
"Frohman! Shut up! Now Who did this!" Said Ram.
"Oh the Mass Eff-" Frohman's head bumped back and a river of blood bursted out as he hit the ground.
Xandus just stared at him before saying. "Eh no one really liked that web comic anyway."
suddenly one of the heroes turned into a reggae god bob marley and made peace with the stormtroopers. he then went into an epic guitar hero battle with Sith Marauders.
"I told you not to take another shot!" Said the Asari.
"I didn't"
"Hey guys did you see that shot!" Said a Salaren running over to them.
"Ahhh Fuck it. Just get in the Ship!"
With that the ship took off leaving the Troopers and Sith below heading for the homebase.
At the alien HQ
Draxxis, the leader of this genocidial campiegn sat in the meeting room. He was having a meeting with his branch leaders.
The leader of Western Front-Wrex Undnot.
and
The leader of the Eastern Front-Saron Arterius.
"Alright I want a full report from both fronts" Said Draxxis
"Well sir. The Eastern fronts are under full control. The British isles have been sunk, The Rivers have been dryed up and the Chinese tried buying there freedom with Nike brand shoes."
"Excellent. Now what of the Western side of the globe?"
"Excellent sir. We have destroyed City 17 and the Sith have surrendered to us. They are even sending there leaders to us as a show of trust."
"Fantastic news. Soon this planet will be at our knees and the Resources ripe for the picking.
suddenly one of the heroes turned into a reggae god bob marley and made peace with the stormtroopers. he then went into an epic guitar hero battle with Sith Marauders.
"Well, hello who-ever the hell you are. Currently, we're a hundred years and so into the future, in what appears to be a broken, desolate, and destroyed landscape. Our numbers, both villain and Hero, are currently spread out do to the fact that our escape pods various landing spots. As of right here, right now, we were fighting Mass Effect-esq forces while some Star Wars Sith guy are protecting Xandus."
Ram stopped, taking a huge breath. "And just who the hell are you?"
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