The Escapist Boss

[Jenkins]

I should be it, I mean look at me, I have been here longer than almost anyone >.>

 

[Mjolnir07]

I am going to beat with a rusty shovel anyone that says Max. (Too late)

If you fire a homing missile at his eyebrows, while his sprite image is blinking red all you have to do is throw a bob-omb into his wide, mouth-open wailing face. Repeating this process until his health is at 30 percent, at which point he will morph into his final form, 'Max The Leper'; avoid coming within close proximity of his berserk-like flailing and continually toss his own minions at him until he bears down to charge at you, wait until he's inches away and then jump. If you timed it right you should land directly ontop of his head, causing him to blink red again, repeat the bob-omb swallowing procedure until he's dead. Congratulations, you've won the Master Sword and have saved EM from the tyrannical overlord of an otherwise peaceful Hyrule.

Piece of Cake.

 

[Mjolnir07]

my boss would be.......The Evil Demon Of Getting Away From The Computer

Once you conquer it, you will remain forever where you are?

 

[historyfend13]

I think the boss would be the Janitor. No one would suspect him, and he has access to all the files and video games. He can train in secret and move unseen through the office!

 

[Syntax Error]

So you log onto the Escapist one day, doing the normal stuff, when suddenly you realize that you now have the largest post count (all excellent posts), the longest time spent on the forums, the most well received person. You liked by all and treated with the utmost respect. The amount of fame you have gathered is beyond compare and may well possibly be a member of staff, or maybe not because you're so cool. In all aspects you have beaten The Escapist, you've won and the year supply of pretzels that comes with beating a website is nearly in your grasp. Nearly because you see, there's a snag. As this is a video game forum it goes without saying that there must be a boss for you to beat.

So what could this boss, for you, possibly be. Would it be the search bar, Yahtzee, you're dark self or maybe even a collection of horrors? Who knows what confrontation is awaiting you at the end. The answer is nobody knows, so it is time for you to speculate Escapist. What would you're www.escapistmagazine.com boss be? Would it be a tough boss fight or would it be easy? Do you think you are prepared for this encounter? Is it likely that you will even survive? Do you think that everyone shares the same boss or do we have our own?

Tell us what you think.

This is a clever ruse for an endgame boss for your ZP game isn't? Clever, but I won't fall for it, Dragon Fox from a Frozen Tundra Who Was Once a Dragon.

EDIT:
As for a boss, it's gonna be Miss Arendt's Pony. Dual Wielding the Search Bar and the Banhammer. Said pony will also spawn minions first before you get to fight her. First wave would be the Probation guys. Second will be the Suspended guys. Third will be the Banned people. The fourth wave will consist of the Slain Trolls (oddly enough). Then the fifth and final wave would be the people with mod powers.

Ok that's it, I need to stop playing Diablo 2.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

my boss would be *insert well picked final confrontation* and I would *insert likely outcome* bacause *insert funny picture for peole to laugh at*

genius.

 

[TikiShades]

Interesting topic.

I'd have to say maybe Max the Reaper, bundeled together with the search bar.

I am going to beat anyone that says Max. (Too late)

I candidate myself for one. My inner demons and crap.

Max isn't that hard to beat....

Whatchu talkin' bout?

 

[Berethond]

Susan fused with her Pony, in the form of a CentaurPony. Once you defeat her, you will have access to all the wonders of the Escapist.

All the other mods are just mini bosses.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Me because I have a whip and I'm not afraid to use it ;]

 

[sky14kemea]

Interesting topic.

I'd have to say maybe Max the Reaper, bundeled together with the search bar.

I am going to beat anyone that says Max. (Too late)

I candidate myself for one. My inner demons and crap.

Max isn't that hard to beat....

yeah, all you have to do is poke him =D

OT: a boss hmm? maybe all the mods band together making one super boss? :/ who knows~

 

[Cowabungaa]

Yes it's been said before, but here I go anyway:
Max wielding a flaming search bar with a Yathzee imp as a sidekick.

 

[Lord George]

It would obviously be a dancing kittycorn (half unicron half kitten wielding the mighty banhammer in one hand and the search bar in the other, it would attack with flaming attacks (religion, abortion, WW2 threads), sarky comments and zero punctuation quotes. It would be the Escapist made flesh.

The only way to kill it and whittle down its postcount is through using brilliant thread attacks that encourage intelligent discussion, obey the rules and use perfect grammar.

 

[xitel]

Archon. Also known as the CEO of the Themis group. Also known as the boss.

 

[headshotcatcher]

Interesting topic.

I'd have to say maybe Max the Reaper, bundeled together with the search bar.

I still don't get why he is so loved on this forum, dead hooker joke + pessimistic outlook on life = Escapist fame?

 

[Sevre]

The Red Guard attack you and you must beat them with only the aid of your faithful sidekick Xitel who is a harmless kitty.

 

[Mookie_Magnus]

My final boss would be my childhood. I would have to relive certain moments and make them right, make them how they should have gone.

Now my final boss for the Escapist, hmm... I say that it would be a Dark version of myself. It would be wielding the Banhammer, and I would have to defeat it in order to transcend to the next plane of Internet existence.