The Feminine Female

[Labyrinth]

2. I think it's fairly well defined what is feminine in a traditional sense. I'm not sure what it is that people are trying to change it to, but it doesn't seem to be something I jive with.

3. That's the whole problem with this argument. Does it really mean you're weak if you dress a certain way? I don't think so.

You disagree with changing what is associated with 'female'? Why? As for outfit, I never once mentioned it or made reference to weakness in anything I've said.

 

[PurplePlatypus]

Truth is, most women are rather feminine, and you only really kind of notice it when you?re a female that really isn?t all that feminine. The idea of femininity you seem to have in your head, is the very extreme of it, and more specifically it?s the archetype of the innocent girly girl rather than the feminine woman. In terms of an act an older female might put on, it's a bit of an outdated stereotype.

 

[Da Chi]

I love discussions like this because this topic really shows the range of cultural biases. Every culture has women, but they are all different due to their cultural, ethnic and regional backgrounds.
An opinion made by me may be relevant here in Canada, but in say... the United Kingdom, they may laugh at my point.
That being said, I've always found a certain feminine charm in wit, humor and energy. Clothing has nothing to do with my opinion of femininity but a sly smile and a flash of brilliance make me stand in awe of women at times.

 

[Griffolion]

I've been attracted to all sorts of girls. Hipster girls, tomboys, girlie girls, hippie girls, high maintenance girls like you see on 90210 etc.

In my opinion, feminism is not a state of mind or a characteristic you can tangibly percieve, it's the backdrop to every woman's life that variably adapts and colours itself according to the woman's life choices. So the woman's own being is her own feminism. Same with men and masculinity.

I can't personally say i have a type, if i like her, i like her.

 

[shortstack]

I think what is and isn't "feminine" is a matter of culture, age, and personal taste. The "type" of women you like is very specific, but they do exist, so don't stop looking!

And secondly, not all women care about their looks. Or if they do, maybe they only care enough that they don't look like a total hobo. I BARELY pay attention to what I wear, or what clothes I buy, which often results in me having ill-fitting or unmatched outfits. But how I look isn't high on my priority list, and I get along better with people who don't care how I look, anyway.

As for my personality, I'm pretty shy and quiet and an all-around wallflower, and don't like drawing attention to myself. But on some warm summer days, when I feel like spending the day outside, I'll put on my knee-length skirt and a white cotton blouse and be a little more feminine.

But only once in a while.

 

[Marcosn]

Maybe you (like me) find the traditional 'lady' attractive, and equate that with the types of clothes you described?

For example I don't like the type of girl who goes out with a gang of her mates, falls out of a taxi onto her knees and vomits onto the floor while trying to put her fake tits back into her top and then rejoin the wolfpack and stumble into the next bar/club shouting like they are at a football match.

This is how a lot of girls near me (Northern English city)tend to behave all weekend, then spend the week waiting to do it all again.

So I find quiet and sensitive girls more attractive/ladylike.

---

Nb, most males are like the above example near me too- 'players' who get hammered, vomit everywhere then get into a fight/drunken shag. So it's not a gender specific theme.

I can't say much because it doesnt apply much to people of my age (im 16 but EVERY girl wears jeans) but all you hear about is how "wasted" they got the previous night and cant wait to do it again... not to mention abut the stupid pregnancy rates and how apparently still being a virgin when you're just 16 is sad... went a bit off topic there but as you can see peoples views and standards have changed so the old feminine (lady like) women are gone for the most part.

bit more off topic but do people up north consider you posh or snobby? because i live up near manchester and because of the way i was raised i have my manners and respect (which no one else does) but i did get raised with old fashioned views. (i alos get flack for having a neutral accent which isnt from anywhere atall)

 

[Harrowdown]

I admit get annoyed at the constant excuse that girls won't wear dresses or skirts to do them being uncomfortable. I guess a lot of people didn't get the memo that comfortable clothes are usually not attractive.

So... You get annoyed because girls wont wear what you want them to because they don't like it? I think that's a perfectly valid reason for someone choosing not to do something. Some girls like skirts, others don't. Comfortable clothing can be attractive, but if you're someone who doesn't like jeans on girls you wont see it regardless.

Why are you seeing this as a bad thing? Like you've never been annoyed by something in your life? I'm not petitioning to force women to wear skirts and dresses, I'm saying that if a women is out in baggy sweatpants and a hoodie, I'm not likely to have my eyes draw to her. Similarly if she's walking around in a little more than a few pieces of string. I won't find that attractive either.

It's personal taste, and no one should get offended by it.

You didn't say in your first post that you prefer skirts. You said it annoys you when girls don't wear certain clothing, and that a persons comfort isn't an acceptable reason to not dress in said clothing. Essentially, you just claimed that a girl looking good is more important than her dressing how she wants. That's why your comment was taken badly. You expressed distaste for a large sector of the female gender for not dressing right.

This whole thread is starting to fill with the poisonous assumptions that separate womanhood and personhood. Women are people, defined by more than their femininity or their looks. I'm sure most of you aren't actually hardcore chauvanists or whatever, but you don't often see threads of this nature popping up about men now, do you?

 

[Harrowdown]

I admit get annoyed at the constant excuse that girls won't wear dresses or skirts to do them being uncomfortable. I guess a lot of people didn't get the memo that comfortable clothes are usually not attractive.

So... You get annoyed because girls wont wear what you want them to because they don't like it? I think that's a perfectly valid reason for someone choosing not to do something. Some girls like skirts, others don't. Comfortable clothing can be attractive, but if you're someone who doesn't like jeans on girls you wont see it regardless.

Why are you seeing this as a bad thing? Like you've never been annoyed by something in your life? I'm not petitioning to force women to wear skirts and dresses, I'm saying that if a women is out in baggy sweatpants and a hoodie, I'm not likely to have my eyes draw to her. Similarly if she's walking around in a little more than a few pieces of string. I won't find that attractive either.

It's personal taste, and no one should get offended by it.

You didn't say in your first post that you prefer skirts. You said it annoys you when girls don't wear certain clothing, and that a persons comfort isn't an acceptable reason to not dress in said clothing. Essentially, you just claimed that a girl looking good is more important than her dressing how she wants. That's why your comment was taken badly. You expressed distaste for a large sector of the female gender for not dressing right.

This whole thread is starting to fill with the poisonous assumptions that separate womanhood and personhood. Women are people, defined by more than their femininity or their looks. I'm sure most of you aren't actually hardcore chauvanists or whatever, but you don't often see threads of this nature popping up about men now, do you?

I think you misread my intent. I like girls to attire in a certain manner and I dislike other styles. That doesn't mean I think my word is law. People are making too many assumptions here. And don't think men don't have to deal with this sort of thing, we do. It's just not brought into forums much because men aren't expected, by their nature, to discuss this stuff. Else they get classified as "sissy boys". In the man world, men are always looking for reasons to emasculate each other, so usually it's not a good idea to give them a target.

I may be misreading your intent, but i'm not misreading what you actually said. You said you 'get annoyed at the constant excuse that girls won't wear dresses or skirts to do them being uncomfortable.' You expressed a negative response to another persons personal decisions, even though they don't affect you at all, and aren't even made with you in mind. You imply that you have a right to be annoyed. Not that you have a right to prefer feminine clothing, but that you have a right to express actual annoyance at someones clothing. You accused girls of using the 'excuse' of wanting comfortable clothing, which implies that they need an excuse, which in turn implies that they are wrong to dress how they please. You then said ' I guess a lot of people didn't get the memo that comfortable clothes are usually not attractive.' What you appear to be saying, whatever you think you were trying to say, is that attractiveness is the most important quality a girl can hope to achieve in how she chooses to dress. I don't think you're trying to directly impose any sort of dress code or anything, but you're implicitly suggesting that girls should dress in a certain way, based on your own preferences.

 

[DRSH1989]

What is a feminine girl/woman and what is a masculine boy/man?... there are no rules or guidelines here (although history may have implied that all women once were wearing some form of dress or another and they were usually trophies of men with a few historical exceptions of course in which women were better leaders or something something than some of the men of their time)... there is only the other person's perception of you... ye I like girls who dress in pink and act cute & yeah I like girls that dress in black and act tough also... aesthetic quality is one variable of the equation... personality is another variable of the same equation... after that we have traits, social factors, et cetera... dunno what this thread is about really... doesn't female presume femininity by just being a female ? Maybe there are more ways than one to express your own womanhood/manhood or whatevar...

In short the OP posted that he likes cute women that act cute... who doesn't ... I don't see anything offensive about the OP's post... but it's only his perception. An example of perception may be a trivial factor such as I do kno: my friend likes girls in tight skirts... I find them to be more sexy in tight jeans... another guy wouldn't care about what she's wearing and would only be lookin' for a cute face or i dunno starrin' at ass//tits//erogenous regions, etc... hell we surely have guys around who stare at girls' eyes and are romantic enough to fall in luv for those... just sayin'... perception... it's relative ... to be honest... one can never be sure what next might arouse his sexual senses/instincts/whateva.

 

[MassiveGeek]

Uhm.

I, uh--

I'm...

Shit, I really don't know how to answer any of those question, being close to having like some sort of personality disorder on par with my femenine and my very-much-not-femenine side personally. When I was a bit younger, I had absolutely no interest in make-up, clothes or my hair, but as I've gotten a bit more mature I've become more interested in it. I still wear little to no make up, I've recently cut my hair very short(which is so fucking comfortable I'm so happy I did it) and the vast majority of my interests are either considered masculine or non-gender specific.

I don't know, I'm never 100% masculine, 100% femenine or 100% androgynous, I'm always flipping about between them, one day I wear tights and a long top to show off my legs, the next I'm in a suit with my hair styled trying to mind fuck people as they try to figure out what sex I am.

tl;dr: I can't even find my own definition of femeninity and can't answer your questions, sorry.

 

[lostzombies.com]

Maybe you (like me) find the traditional 'lady' attractive, and equate that with the types of clothes you described?

For example I don't like the type of girl who goes out with a gang of her mates, falls out of a taxi onto her knees and vomits onto the floor while trying to put her fake tits back into her top and then rejoin the wolfpack and stumble into the next bar/club shouting like they are at a football match.

This is how a lot of girls near me (Northern English city)tend to behave all weekend, then spend the week waiting to do it all again.

So I find quiet and sensitive girls more attractive/ladylike.

---

Nb, most males are like the above example near me too- 'players' who get hammered, vomit everywhere then get into a fight/drunken shag. So it's not a gender specific theme.

I can't say much because it doesnt apply much to people of my age (im 16 but EVERY girl wears jeans) but all you hear about is how "wasted" they got the previous night and cant wait to do it again... not to mention abut the stupid pregnancy rates and how apparently still being a virgin when you're just 16 is sad... went a bit off topic there but as you can see peoples views and standards have changed so the old feminine (lady like) women are gone for the most part.

bit more off topic but do people up north consider you posh or snobby? because i live up near manchester and because of the way i was raised i have my manners and respect (which no one else does) but i did get raised with old fashioned views. (i alos get flack for having a neutral accent which isnt from anywhere atall)

I'm in NE Derbyshire, so Sheffield and Chesterfield are both near me. I'm in a rural area so I'm not too sure. If I go into Sheffield or Chesterfield then it feels like going into a different country so probably. I have a pretty neutral accent too, Derbyshire one is I suppose. I guess if I talk to those type of people then I would come across as posh I'm not really, just middle class normal person I think.

I think the gap between rural and urban Britain is huge and it's getting bigger and bigger. The only problem is in rural areas there can be a lot of very snobby people (less so up north, it's more dog walkers/people who just like the open country and farmers etc) so that is another issue. But I guess I would rather relate to people who are 'over brought up' as opposed to people who were badly brought up.

I don't know it's hard not to generalise but in general...lol...I feel completely alien in cities, no one ever smiles at each other or says hello while where I am you can't walk past someone without a smile or a friendly hello/hi. Maybe that is a common feature in most western countries nowadays?

 

[Marcosn]

I'm in NE Derbyshire, so Sheffield and Chesterfield are both near me. I'm in a rural area so I'm not too sure. If I go into Sheffield or Chesterfield then it feels like going into a different country so probably. I have a pretty neutral accent too, Derbyshire one is I suppose. I guess if I talk to those type of people then I would come across as posh I'm not really, just middle class normal person I think.

I think the gap between rural and urban Britain is huge and it's getting bigger and bigger. The only problem is in rural areas there can be a lot of very snobby people (less so up north, it's more dog walkers/people who just like the open country and farmers etc) so that is another issue. But I guess I would rather relate to people who are 'over brought up' as opposed to people who were badly brought up.

I don't know it's hard not to generalise but in general...lol...I feel completely alien in cities, no one ever smiles at each other or says hello while where I am you can't walk past someone without a smile or a friendly hello/hi. Maybe that is a common feature in most western countries nowadays?

I dont live right in the city i just live in a medium place (is bolton known by anywhere else atall?) but even here you dont get too many friendly people *cough* chavs *coughs* so its not the best place to be and i'm sure it is the same in most western places or maybe even any large place atall.