I'm open-minded about the feminine VS the tomboyish women. Both of them can be very hot and desirable in my camp. I have my own particular interests, as does anybody else. If you like the feminine more, OP, that's your business.
The Feminine Female
- Thread starter Dragunai
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What women wear is merely an outward expression of their femininity (or lack there of), I don't hink it's something that really defines them, because it's just clothes, and people dress according to the styles.
With that said, the "feminine" woman as a personality is, shall we say, "out of style" itself as a result of modern society. "Girly" women are represented in the media by sluts and ditz (see: Paris Hilton), which is not something young women want to emulate (even at a young age people know the foolishness of those types). Further, the modern day culture emphasizes the need for a woman to be independant and the waves of feminism has left this sot of mental image of what the modern woman should be.
I still remember one girl in my high school, seven years ago, who had the gall to say that all she wanted to be was a housewife (when asked about careers), and she was laughed at by nearly everyone in the class. And to an extent, I understand why they laugh, with high divorce rates and the high pre-marital sexual activity of the modern world, what we consider "feminine" just doesn't really survive..
It could come back, but you'd need a wave of social change, and you're still not going to get what you're thinking of exactly. Of course, some of that is good, for sure, as a lot of what is considered feminine is the result of societal repression. But not all of it.
tl;dr Feminism and more open sexuality killed the feminine ideal.
With that said, the "feminine" woman as a personality is, shall we say, "out of style" itself as a result of modern society. "Girly" women are represented in the media by sluts and ditz (see: Paris Hilton), which is not something young women want to emulate (even at a young age people know the foolishness of those types). Further, the modern day culture emphasizes the need for a woman to be independant and the waves of feminism has left this sot of mental image of what the modern woman should be.
I still remember one girl in my high school, seven years ago, who had the gall to say that all she wanted to be was a housewife (when asked about careers), and she was laughed at by nearly everyone in the class. And to an extent, I understand why they laugh, with high divorce rates and the high pre-marital sexual activity of the modern world, what we consider "feminine" just doesn't really survive..
It could come back, but you'd need a wave of social change, and you're still not going to get what you're thinking of exactly. Of course, some of that is good, for sure, as a lot of what is considered feminine is the result of societal repression. But not all of it.
tl;dr Feminism and more open sexuality killed the feminine ideal.
Genetalia, ideally. Well, I could ramble about gender stereotypes and secondary sex characteristics but I cbf.Dragunai said:
Just out of curiosity, what would you think of a girl sitting there looking demure, with a pretty skirt and a cardigan, and you ask her what she's listening to, and she says "Dimmu Borgir" or something?
It's all the same brand name douchebaggery.ks1234 said:
I like being feminine. May be hard to tell on this site, since I am rather aggresive when it comes to views and opinions, but I still have a very feminine side. Especcially with clothes. I kinda feel weird with what I like to wear considering most girls dont dress so frilly anymore. Hell, aside from the unequalness, I love how in the 50's, what girls wore everyday, is fancy now. Plus I love Lolita Fashion, which is notably frilly.
Im even working on growing my hair long enough to style it like Helena from Dead or Alive 4, with the giant ribbon.
Im even working on growing my hair long enough to style it like Helena from Dead or Alive 4, with the giant ribbon.
There are plenty of books for you to read to understand the feminine psyche, I especially recommend Queen Bees and Wannabes (author is something wiseman i think, cant remember off the top of my head). In that book she collaborates a lot of high school girls ideas of feminity and narrows it down to a few traits (i can't remember all of them off the top of my head). They're along the lines of nice, pretty, lovely hair, thin with figure, etc. These features also describe the "popular" girls in highschool, notice nowhere in that list is intelligent or opininated or headstrong. Girls that naturally have THESE traits find they have to work harder at getting friends. Plenty grow to rebel against these stereotypes of "pretty" and "nice", after all, why would you spend so much time being something you're not when nobody appretiates the "real" you?Dragunai said:
I am going to be unpopular with both sides of the fence of this debate because I'm "both". On the masculine side, I can change a tyre, tile and grout a floor, wield power tools and have some basic carpentry skills, I like to LAN especially RTS and have plenty of (mostly male) nerdy friends, plus I do two martial arts
BUT
after much reading and research into the masculine psyche, (which is a lot easier than understanding girls btw) I've found it's fun to be girly too, especially in the dating arena. And I've seen why I act so masculine: I've gained those skills because I've had to. I won't be protected all the time, so I throw myself into martial arts, I can't rely on a male always being around to fix things, so I've gotta be able to fend for myself someday. Strong, but not feminine. And maybe that's why so many girls don't act feminine nowadays, because they've been taught through males they've contacted in their lives that they NEED to put up a front of self sufficiency. In some circumstances acting "feminine" could have them labeled a ditz, useless, or a gold digger (you know what I mean, the girls that are gung-ho about going dutch on a date because they don't want to feel like they "owe" the guy sex or want to be labeled)
So yes, if there's heavy lifting to be done and I'm alone, I'll do it, standing around helplessly isn't feminine its stupid (unless it's going to put my back out in which case i'd call for backup). BUT if a group of guys are around? Yeah I'll ask for help. I had a discussion with someone i dated and he explained that he feels masculine when he pays for our dates. Can I afford to go dutch? yes. Would he have liked that? no. So I guess that long rant is that it takes a CONSCIOUS decision of a girl to act feminine in a world that screams man-hating slogans and a-woman-needs-a-man-like-a-fish-needs-a-bicycle (except for a small percentage that are naturally feminine, have not particarly needed to prove themselves self sufficient and have retained that part of their feminity).
So go easy on us modern women, for some of us it takes a conscious decision to wear a skirt to a date because it's a sign of trust that if we are attacked I will be protected and I won't need to resort to any headkicks (ok moot point pretty sure I could defend myself without flashing anyone BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN). Understand that in this current world it is a privilege to open doors for a female because she knows full well she has two working arms but "lets" you open the doors because it makes you feel like a man, and any feminine females you meet should definately be cherished. They could be trying really hard.
And to pre-empt any feminists calling me a fake or a sell-out, I don't deceive the men that I date, they know full well I'm capable of taking care of myself, but I don't bring that up more than necessary and "let" them take care of me as it's their instinct. And yes, it's uncomfortable to start with in a society that screams "GO DUTCH ON DATES" because I start to wonder if he DOES in fact expect more from me/does it mean I owe him, took a few honest conversations to settle down and accept that gentlemen do exist and I find once I trust a man enough, I can enjoy myself.
TL
R Happy birthday OP
Probably from the ages of knights and ladies where princesses dressed ridiculous and acted helpless in castles, to...well...nowadays, independant, career driven women in a suit-and-pantsSir John the Net Knight said:
(not saying thats a bad thing! I have a bachelors degree and my own career to pursue)
Aww come on, plenty of women are afraid they won't be taken seriously in the workplace if they aren't on-par with the men, you can hardly blame them for wanting to have a costume and a persona that screams "TAKE ME SERIOUSLY PLZ"Sir John the Net Knight said:
You ninja'd just about everything I was gonna say! (Also: *****-to-***** high five!)Bara_no_Hime said:
I wouldn't necessarily characterize soft or gentle people as "weak" but it's not my style. Tragically I'm one of those awful outspoken feminists who always has the temerity to, yanno, talk in public (mouthy harlot!) and express my opinions and stuff. However, if my job didn't require long pants and closed-toed shoes (and if I didn't walk my commute in the rain every day) I'd probably wear cute skirts and heels a lot more often. So whether you would count me as at all "feminine" I don't know.
Alternatively, one of my good friends regularly wears flannel men's shirts, but she is the sweetest person ever and loves babies and hates arguing. So god knows which of us would win a femininity competition.Probably I'd consider girls who are quiet and sweet as just having that kind of personality type. Historically this personality type has often been characterized as "feminine" (compared to the stereotypically "masculine" traits of confidence and aggression) and women have been socialized to behave in these ways, but I don't believe it is inherently womanly to be demure and kind. I think the OP just likes that personality type, maybe -- if being a shy darling were considered "manly" he might have written a post about how much he loves tomboys.
1) basically what you said, i could maybe think of one or two things to add, but feh.
2) i can't remember the last time I saw a feminine girl, whether it's just my definition or that they all got up and said "f*ck being feminine" you are not alone, i also find it anywhere from very hard to impossible to find a feminine girl.
2) i can't remember the last time I saw a feminine girl, whether it's just my definition or that they all got up and said "f*ck being feminine" you are not alone, i also find it anywhere from very hard to impossible to find a feminine girl.
I'm an asian that's quite average at math, do I feel any less asian...noDags90 said:
I'm asian, it's what I am. Yes I have moments where I feel very "white" because I understand australian culture and slang, but it doesn't take away from what I "am" ...if that makes any sense. There's more to asian culture than just math, we just joke about it cos it's funny.