The Feminine Female

[Wharrgarble]

I see where you're coming from, but I'll be honest, that style of dress isn't all that practical anymore. While there is nothing wrong with wearing scrunchies if that's what you like, if I wore one to a job interview along with butterfly clips, leggings and a knee length jumper I doubt I'd be taken seriously. I have a business suit that has a skirt I find very comfortable, but it's designed for a professional environment.

I wear clothing I find comfortable and practical. What you describe as "feminine" isn't really either, to be honest. It's just no longer in style. It's seen as "young" rather than "mature" and that's a look not many people are going for.

Now a days I think the definition of the term "feminine" is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone is going to say something different.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Eh. I like wearing clothes like what you're describing, and I agree few girls do it today.

But first of all, I have to tone down that inclination considerably or risk looking quite ridiculous. It starts to look weird on someone my age, and it looks doubly weird when you're as tall as I am.

Secondly, I'm a transsexual, and that doesn't make my inclinations all that typical for girls in general. (Aside from which, I'm forced by circumstance to be a lot more wary of how I look... And thus I have to ensure I strike a decent balance with things.
Too far one way, and I end up looking way too manly. Too far the other way, and I risk looking like a caricature.)

But, on the whole, I have seen the same kind of things you describe. Very few girls wear skirts or dresses these days. (although it must be somewhat fashion-related, because it's starting to seem somewhat more common again.)

Being judged on what you wear can get pretty messy at times...

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

I think the definition of "feminine" has changed, personally, I like scrunchies (they are easy, I have long hair and live in Florida, it's painfully hot most of the year, but I refuse to cut my hair, so ponytail 24/7), I love love love bright colors and a nice sun dress every now and then, but I've never been called "feminine" don't get me wrong, I've never been called "manly" either, I think I'm just considered normal.

So what is feminine these days? Certainly not dresses, I know plenty of girls who spend 3 hours in the bathroom every morning putting on makeup that don't wear dresses, my sister who is die hard into fashion, wouldn't be caught dead wearing some of the bright artsty stuff I like.

 

[Trivun]

Personally, I prefer girls to dress in a way that makes them look pretty cute, yet sexy at the same time. Kind of like how a kitten looks cute, but then we still have that phrase 'sex kitten', if that makes sense. Like, I don't want a girl who I'm, say, going on a date with, to be all slutty or whatever, but I want her to look somewhat sexy. But then she'd be more attractive to me personally looking quite cute and innocent at the same time, it's all about finding a balance. If that's dressing feminine, then yes, I like girls to dress feminine. Something like this, for example, I'd call pretty feminine, cute, and sexy at the same time:

Spoiler

On the subject as a whole, though, if a girl wants to dress in a certain way then that's entirely up to her, and I'm happy with a girl who I'd be attracted to anyway, regardless of the way she dresses. I simply, as I say above, have a particular preference for certain styles, when it comes to physical attraction...

 

[Astoria]

I think it might just be where you're living. Pretty much all I see here is girls in short skirts though it is Australia so we need to if we don't want to die from overheating. I'm definitely not a girly girl. I recently brought a pair of shorts and a skirt for the first time in about 5 years. I find dressing up is more fun when you don't do it very often. I think if you look close enough you'll find something feminine about every girl, it just depends on how much they show it off. I tend to find that the really girly girls are either dumb or the bitchy type anyway(not all this is just in my experience).

 

[Murais]

I wish to go to a land where Abercrombie, American Eagle, Hollister, and the like do not exist. I miss when people but more thought into their outfits besides a solid color shirt with a brand name on it.


Why do I bring it up? Because I leave in New England, and the women here LIVE in the hoodies made by those companies, and I think they're ugly as shit.

/spit

 

[Alexei Do'Urden]

Well as a girl who could maybe be like what you described, I am much more quiet and gentle than most of my friends, I'd say that the reason I don't dress in bright skirts and such is:

a) I am a little worried about unwanted attention. Not many people dress like that, and as a quiet person I don't like people noticing me.
b) I need pockets. I carry my iPhone, DS, and other various electronics and even when a skirt has pockets they don't seem secure enough to me. I like feeling my phone against my leg and being sure it's there.
c) If they're short I worry about sitting incorrectly and if they're longer I trip and/or get caught in them. I live in the country and going for a walk in a skirt is just a bad idea

Part of that is due to the fact that I don't wear skirts often enough to be used to them, but I do love bright colours. I have one skirt that's striped all kinds of colours that I pull out during the summer, but usually when I'm home for the day, I don't go out in public in it.

In my opinion feminine would just be a lack of t-shirts and jeans, wearing exclusively female clothing. And maybe also not girls who are crass and confrontational, which seems to be unfortunately popular these days. Unfortunately the 'slutty' type of girls, for lack of a better term, would also be classified as feminine in my mind, excessively so. Same with valley girls, though I haven't met any of them in a while.

The problem with finding a girl of the type you described, in my mind, is that for whatever reason being polite and quiet and yet embracing a bright female look seems to have gone out of fashion. I'll bet many girls are really quite gentle inside and would naturally fit into your definition of feminine, but don't act that way in public. A lot of my female friends were like that, they could act in ways that really annoyed me sometimes even though I knew they were really quite nice. Even I would love to wear interesting and vibrant clothes, but just don't feel willing to stick my neck out so much.

 

[Wharrgarble]

I admit get annoyed at the constant excuse that girls won't wear dresses or skirts to do them being uncomfortable. I guess a lot of people didn't get the memo that comfortable clothes are usually not attractive.

So... You get annoyed because girls wont wear what you want them to because they don't like it? I think that's a perfectly valid reason for someone choosing not to do something. Some girls like skirts, others don't. Comfortable clothing can be attractive, but if you're someone who doesn't like jeans on girls you wont see it regardless.

 

[Detective Paul]

In answer to your first question:I consider a feminine girl/woman to be someone who does not relate a lot to the opposite sex:such as an interest in video-games that borders on fanatical or the same devotion to sports clothing has never tole me much I listen to speech and general personality. In answer to your second:It is fairly hard to find a girl/woman who is interested in wearing the stereotypical girly or womanly clothing , yet it is not very hard to find a girl/woman who acts girly both of these are an opinion not a statement. In answer to your third and final question:If anything has changed nobody has really bothered to notice (save a few of course) as I still see people point and say "Look at the girly one or the girly girl (sounds redundant ,but the definitions of both words are different) it may have just become a bit more subtle.I do not intend to offend anyone my words were not crafted in this way.

 

[ks1234]

I wish to go to a land where Abercrombie, American Eagle, Hollister, and the like do not exist. I miss when people but more thought into their outfits besides a solid color shirt with a brand name on it.


Why do I bring it up? Because I leave in New England, and the women here LIVE in the hoodies made by those companies, and I think they're ugly as shit.

/spit

I Lol'd so fucking hard at this comment...
Seriously, When I was in highschool that was all people wore and I had more refined tastes and people thought that garbage from A&F looked better than Ralph Lauren or CK.
And then I grew up and got into bodybuilding and none of that shit fits anymore.
Anyway, Touche' my friend, touche'

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

My mom actually accused me of being gay because I'm "not feminine enough," so I assume feminine is however I don't act. I wear tee shirts and jeans, no make up, spend no time on my hair, and am a carpenter/mason.

However, one of the only actual lesbians I know gets manicures and pedicures on a weekly basis, has perfect hair and make up, and I've only ever seen her wearing skirts or dresses.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that thinking you can tell how a person acts based on who they're attracted to is a load of garbage.

Sorry, I just needed to get that rant out.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

What's wrong with scrunchies? It's just an accessory for making pony tails. Ditto butterfly clips. Why is that equated with being juvenile?

Actually, I equate them with being vaguely white-trashy, but that's a personal bias.

I am very attracted to feminine women. The sort of girl who is happy to wear bright coloured skirts down past her knee and a long ponytail hair adornments. Girls who have a soft demeanour and are gentle in their actions.

OP: I think the reason you might be seeing fewer women of this description is due to the items I highlighted above. Soft demeanor and gentle are descriptions of weak women.

Not that being gentle and kind is necessarily a bad thing - it's a great trait in guys - but honestly I have no interest in being weak. I far prefer being a *****. A scrunchy-hating *****. ^^

I like wearing dark clothes that show off my figure. Black is always a sexy color - so is red. I like red, I got a hot red top recently.

I also like flowy dresses that look like something you might wear in classic Greece. Those are feminine, but in a sleek, sexy way.

That's the thing - being feminine doesn't mean you have to be soft or gentle or weak - being feminine is being the most "female" you can be. Women are strong, tough, and capable. There is no reason for us to pretend to be weak.

I originally clicked on this thread because I misread the title as fem fatals. That is a much more interesting topic.

 

[Chemical Alia]

The style you're describing sounds very old fashioned, like how my mom had to dress when she was in middle school. I don't know how old you are, but I'm reminded of juvenile styles as well.

Like a lot of people have said, I think a feminine person isn't defined by how they dress, nor necessarily how soft/emotional they are. One of my most feminine friends was a short, pretty girl, who was very outspoken and competitive, but also bubbly and "girly". She was a cheerleader in high school, she took great pride in being able to beat most guys in PT scores and we always tried to outdo each other, to see who could have run 2 miles faster, have better ironed BDUs, shinier boots, etc.

I'm a female, and I don't get what it is you're asking what it is we do or do not agree on. I spent some years wearing skirts and "feminine" clothes often, but in the end I don't think it suits me and I found that people took me less seriously when I dressed in a "girlier" or more younger way. Simply put, I felt I was judged as weaker and more immature when I dressed that way, and I hated that. It also took a lot longer to get ready in the morning with long hair to style, makeup to put on, and fancy outfits to pick out.

I wouldn't say I dress that casually, or like a dude, however. I prefer neutral colors and fashionable outfits that are more serious and gender-neutral. Not necessarily feminine or manly at all. I'm not soft-natured or gentle, but I love the idea of shopping at the mall with female friends as equally as I do working with a bunch of guys to make video games.

 

[Sejs Cube]

See and personally I much prefer it when women don't wear skirts.






[sub]...ba dum tish[/sub]

 

[Verlander]

-snip-

Dude, really? I live in the UK too (London) and there are always TONs of women in summery dresses. Go to the park on a hot day, or walk along the main shopping streets, you're bound to find a few

Me? I don't consider that as "feminine". I think friendly, confident, reassured, and independent without need to follow someone else's lead to be feminine. A feminine girl can still wear jeans and be feminine in my eyes. I see femininity as being positive, as being smiley, and enthusiastic.

As for the second thing, no, I don't find it hard to find feminine women. Yes the definition of femininity has changed, and the old fashioned version of femininity strikes me as oppressed, restrictive and subservient. While that can be a good thing in certain situations, I like a girl to be able to hold your hand, and walk proud in the sun with a smile on her face. I like a girl to drag me into clothes shops against my will. I like to go to build-a-bear shops, and get her a bear, only for her to hit me with it (but then sleep with it on her bedside table). The long dress, long hair tied back thing seems very out of place. Kind of Amish. I find girls who are like that to be nervous and have a massive lack of confidence. If you find a girl like that, and can give her the confidence she deserves, than that's truly amazing. If you like women like that, then you may end up disappointed when they inevitably change.

Of course you could always meet a real woman, and engage in a more S+M private sexual relationship. Many girls are submissive, and maybe that's where you're attraction lays?